#corrodedbisexual

Here's Eddie and Steve from @corrodedbisexual's pacrim AU Love, Drift & Monsters (part of the @steddiebang Steddie Big Bang)

Hi pal! I love this request and thank you so very much for sending it. I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to be angsty or light, so I hope you like where I ended up @corrodedbisexual! Happy reading :)

51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

There's a lot of tension in the room. Eddie feels the weight of it as he walks in to find Steve and Robin facing each other. Unlike most days, the two of them seem upset and completely off beat. Despite not always appreciating the near telepathic link that exists between the two friends, Eddie dislikes this even more.

He's a second away from saying something, attempting to break up the weirdness with a corny joke or unsolicited D&D antidote when Robin eventually barrels through the silence as she walks out the door.

"This isn't over, Steve. Tell him, or I will."

The words are sharp and delivered with a tone Eddie has never heard Robin use before. Robin is full of life and sarcastic to boot - her insults are usually cleverly disguised, wrapped nicely in a joke or witty antidote. That inherent niceness isn't present in the threatening phrase that lingers.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asks, turning to an eerily quiet Steve. What he sees standing there isn't the gorgeous boy Eddie's been slowly falling in love with. Steve is a shell, a husk of someone who's rung out to dry and completely done in.

Unable to stop himself, Eddie starts in Steve's direction. His steps, however, must kickstart Steve into gear. He comes back online with a choked out gasp that quickly turns into a resolute sigh. Though Robin is gone, Eddie still feels the heaviness in the air around him. It makes him stop in his tracks despite wanting to bring Steve comfort.

"Robin's right," Steve eventually says, running an errant hand through his hair. For the last few minutes, his eyes were on the floor - now, they're looking in Eddie's direction unblinkingly.

"Do you ever feel like something inside of you is too big?" The question is barely out of Steve's mouth before he continues. "There's like - this part of me, Eddie. This piece that I've been struggling with for ages. I think it's finally grown to a size and capacity that I can't handle anymore and I don't know what to do. I'm - "

Eddie can't take the sadness of Steve's voice, it's too much. He cuts in with a loud "yes" that seems to echo around the room. Though it's an awkward thing to do, Eddie is rewarded with Steve's silence. That, at least, is better than heartache.

"I know exactly what you mean. It's feelings for me. I never know what to do with them or how to get them out. They take me over sometimes, like they're controlling me, or something." Eddie wants to add more but he can only share so much without giving himself away. "What is it, Steve? What's wrong?"

For a second, the question hangs in the air. Steve is quiet and Eddie waits, counting each of their perfectly timed breaths. Though, when Steve eventually speaks, Eddie suddenly loses count.

"I see the way you look at me when you think I'm not looking." Steve with each word spoken, doesn't stutter or fumble. There's no mistaking the meaning, either - Steve's accusation is very clear.

Yet, it's almost a relief, to finally have the huge elephant in the room out in the open. He's glad for just a moment before Eddie realizes that heated conversation he walked into was about him. Whatever Steve needs to say, good or bad... is to him.

That feeling of a light and empty chest is quickly washed away then. After gauging the chilly temperature in the room a few minutes ago, Eddie is certain nothing good is going to come out of Steve's mouth. If his crush were reciprocated, why would the two very best of friends be mad at each other over it?

Before his thoughts can spiral any further, Eddie is brought out of the cyclone of worry by a soft touch against his shoulder.

"I don't hate it, Eddie. Quite the opposite, actually. Robin's been trying to get me to tell you how I feel for ages. They eat me up, too. My feelings, I mean." Steve is smiling now, his somber attitude dissipating as fast as it set in. "Kind of seems like they don't have to anymore, though. Why were you looking at me like that, Eddie?"

It's so easy to blurt out the answer then, to finally speak his truth. "Because I love you. Fuck, I've been in love with you since eighth grade. A vision of you, at least. These last few months, learning the real you, understanding who you are - my feelings have only grown. I can't help but stare, Steve. You're all I can think about."

Steve's eyes soften seconds before there is no space between them any longer. There seems to be some moisture collecting at the edges of those hazel orbs but Eddie can't take in that tiny detail - Steve is kissing him, taking his attention and holding onto it with every forward press of lip against lip.

One day, when they're both feeling vulnerable, Eddie thinks he'll revisit the topic.

Until then, he's plenty happy to lean into Steve's embrace and dream about forever.

I'm surprised you narrowed it down there's so many good ones!

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

I think it's "idiots in love" because that's basically every steddie fic I've ever written 😂 That or bisexual steve harrington

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on

Characterization! I think my early steddie fics as basic as they might have been are my strongest in terms of canon characterization since the show was so fresh in my head. I need to rewatch again to get that back lol

unfortunately i don't have much progress on this one. gseb has kind of taken up most of my brain space, but i did manage to write part of eddie and chrissy's breakfast!

hiii ty for sending this in!!

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

so like if we get ~ technical ~ about it, i suppose my answer should probably be steve, since i have almost twice as many fics written from steve's pov than i do eddie's. BUT i feel like that number is not an accurate representation of my feelings about it because i genuinely do LOVE writing eddie's pov too. like, writing BOTH of them is just so much fun either way, it's hard to chose one over the other in terms of which i like more. because sometimes that depends on who i'm vibing with more in the moment, or it comes down to the day too, or even the concept for the fic!

but yeah, they both just have such different headspaces and different ways of thinking and analyzing and assessing a situation and it's really fun to explore that for both of them! i love putting myself in each of their shoes to determine how they would respond to a certain situation or certain line of conversation.

(honorable mention to dustin, nancy, max, and wayne tho because writing them/in their pov is SO fun too omg)

((wow, i really did not give you a Solid Answer here huh? lmfaoo it's the bisexual in me - i can't make decisions. why pick just one when i can have all?))

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

toughest ooh hm. so going off of the list of character i have written for, i think i have to go with robin for this one! i love robin so much and i loove writing her - whether i'm writing as her or including her in the story - but she is the hardest for me to nail down i think. because like she's so many things, and she's got a lot of specific details about her that can very easily turn into a caricature if done wrong (i.e. her rambling, her sarcasm, her scathing insults that are delivered in affectionate ways). she walks a very fine line with some of these things, and finding that line can be tricky!

i think it will get easier to do the more i write her, so it's just something i have to work on, but yeah, she's probably one of the tougher ones for me!

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

ohhh love this one! i think one of the most impactful lessons i've learned about writing is that self-indulgence really is the greatest thing to embrace. like, i know that the reason a person writes is different for everybody, but for me personally, i write because it's fun to me. i write because i have a story to tell. i write because there's a scenario i want to see my favorite characters in.

obviously, i LOVE the validation i get from posting my works and sharing them with people, and that does play a huge role in it too, but first and foremost i write for myself. so embracing the things i like and the things i want to see - no matter how niche they are - makes alllllll the difference in the world in my works!! doing that means that i can have fun with my fics, i can write the things i want to see and know that i'm making myself happy with it! it means that writing is easier for me to do because i'm doing what i want to do, not what i feel like i have to do, yknow?

and the best part about being self-indulgent with your writing is that not only does it benefit you as the writer, but it benefits the readers too. because, like, when you come across those totally and completely self indulgent fics it is SOO obvious that the writer enjoyed themselves while writing it! it is SOO obvious that the writer had fun with the fic! it is SOO obvious that the trope or topic or detail included is something important to the writer, something that they care about deeply, something they're passionate about!! and seeing that - recognizing that the writer had fun and enjoyed themselves and indulged, that makes it sooo much more enjoyable to read.

so yeah, my biggest piece of advice to any writer out there is to be as self-indulgent as possible!! it's the best thing you can do!!

Movie poster edit for @corrodedbisexual's Love, Drift & Monsters on ao3.