#corferae

Now, I like Beastboy / Garfield Logan as a character just fine, and this argument is not to bash him. It’s to explain why I hate this ship.

Alright alright alright, first, lets have a vocabulary quiz. Definition of an Unhealthy Relationship?

        “Unhealthy relationships often leave us feeling uncomfortable, sad and afraid. Signs of an unhealthy relationship include;–One partner needing to control the other–Focusing all your energy on your partner–Trying to change yourself or your partner to be what you want them to be–Dropping friends and family or activities you enjoy–Having one partner makes all the decisions–One partner yells, hits, or throws things at the other during arguments–Having more bad times in the relationship than good

Definition of Emotional Abuse?

–Any behavior by one partner that decreases their partners’ self-esteem and leaves them feeling out of control.

Like I said before, this isn’t a Beastboy roast. Sometimes in unhealthy relationships, the abuser does what they do because they themselves have not dealt with childhood wounds. AND, unlike physical abuse, the people involved in emotional abuse may not even know it’s happening.

Here’s some questions from a website I snagged to see if you’re in an unhealthy relationship;

Do they make fun of you or put you down in front of others? I.E., tease you, degrade you, or use sarcasm as a way to put you down?

When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?

Do they tell you that your opinion or feelings are ‘wrong?’ or regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?

Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?

Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?

Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?

Do they blame you for their problems or unhappiness?

Do they continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?

Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:

Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?

Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect orabandonment as punishment?

Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?

Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?

Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?

Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?

Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?

If you were given a checklist to decide if you were being abused and you had said yes to a few, you’d be told you were in an unhealthy relationship. Now, if you look at bbrae, either in the comics or in the show, almost every single bullet point above has been done by Beastboy in regards to Raven, especiallythe ones I have bolded.

Have you noticed how often he’s put Raven down for things she feels / says / does?

How many times he calls her out on something that is his fault?

How many times, in ‘bbrae moments’, where he’s ‘comforting’ her, beast boy is the reason shes upset in every single one of those scenes

How Raven has to threaten bb as the only way to get him to leave her alone.

Now, that’s not to say they don’t love each other- they probably love each other just as they love everyone else on the team- platonically. I can bet my life that they’d be great as a ‘brother and sister’ type friendship. No more of this ‘they hurt each other because they love each other’ shit. A relationship is when you’re with someone who makes you happy, who can respect and understand you.