#coping alone

It was sundown on a Saturday and Armin just finished his work for the day. Yes, he’s a very busy person but he manages his time wisely.

The blonde sighed as he stood up from his desk, smiling sadly at a framed picture of his past lover and him. Even though Annie wasn’t there with him anymore, he still put-up pictures of both of them in his office.

While fixing his things, Armin remembered that he had to go and buy groceries since it was Sunday tomorrow (the day when his local grocery store would close). He sighed once again as he left his office, car keys in hand, and a wallet snugly put inside his jean pocket.

  He closed the door behind him and locked it swiftly. He then walked over to his car, unlocking it, and then finally got inside to start the ignition. Armin put on his seat belt, adjusting the rear-view mirror a bit to check for any cars or people nearby, and then finally hitting the pedals.

As Armin drove to his local grocery store, he couldn’t help but reminisce the times when he and Annie would go to the same store and buy pies and donuts for a movie night every Friday. Oh, how he wished she was still alive, living and breathing as they ignored their surroundings to only hear one another.

 But the reality is reality…

 She will never come back. Armin thought, but he shook his head lightly and chuckled as a single tear dropped from his eye to his white polo shirt.

  Locking the car, Armin walked over to the grocery store’s transparent doors, a small smile adorning his face. He entered the store greeting the workers and the people nearby. “Good afternoon, Sir Arlert!” greeted a staff worker who is carrying boxes, “Good afternoon, Luka.” Armin replied with a nod.

Walking further inside the store, Armin picked up a basket and carried on to buy the things he needed.

   A few moments inside the store and Armin already wants to breakdown. He couldn’t help it; he just suddenly remembers all the times he had with Annie in the familiar aisles he’s seen for the past 7 years.

The way Annie’s eyes would light up when her favorite flavored donuts were available, when she started laughing because of an embarrassing moment at school or even when she bought Armin’s favorite foods just to cheer him up from a bad day.

Oh my god, he just misses her so much.

Armin ruffled his hair and exhaled, Get over it, Armin. Her death was years ago.

But he couldn’t. She was his angel.

“We’re going to be together forever, right, Armin?” A young Annie asked, tilting her head to the side cutely.

“Of course!” The shorter blonde, Armin, replied with a grin and a thumbs up.

  Armin drove back home… well, not until he turned a corner.

Why was he so pressed at the moment? His dead Fiancé that’s what. Annie Leonhardt.

Even if it’s just for a bit, Armin wants to see his old home with her. The home where they used to live in and go home to. The home they belonged in before everything went downhill that night.

 He pulls up somewhere far from the currently occupied house but it is still visible for him to see it in its glory.

 With that, Armin finally broke down. A hand over his face as he cried, “Annie, will we ever see each other again? I miss you so much!”

 Armin sobbed until he quieted down, a neutral expression on his face as he imaged the stargazing family that occupied their old home with himself, Annie and a child.

 Both of them talked a lot about their future together, so it was normal for him to think they would have a child.

  “How about Anna for a girl? How does that sound?” Armin asked his lover as they sat under the stars.

“Ooh, ooh. And Louis for a boy.” Annie added, “Or maybe Jonas…” she thought.

“If you can’t decide then let’s have three children,” Armin blurted out bluntly then blushed immensely after he realized what he said. “W-wait—I d-didn—” he was cut off by a laugh.

The angelic laugh he grew to love and know, “Of course, Armin. We can have as many children you want.”

 However, those dreams are nothing but “could’ve”s and  “would’ve”s now.