#copia headcanons

PRIMO

☆ Primo's go-to method of getting high is edibles. He's trying to treat his body with more grace in his old age and doesn't want the smoke to exacerbate any pre-existing issues he may have. But he still would like to participate in the holiday, especially if you will be joining him, so he has done plenty of research on how to make cannabis-infused tea. It's a process that requires much attention from him, but he's done it so many times at this point that he's actually grown to enjoy it. And it's always a bonus when you accompany him in the kitchen for some playful distraction.

☆ Because it's an edible, his tea takes 30-90 minutes to kick in which gives you plenty of time to not only plan how you will get high but also time it so that you both are fried as shit together. Sometimes when Primo needs to relax a little after a long day he will make his tea with stems and other undesirable parts of the plant for a less potent dose, but on 4/20 he goes all out and uses the actual flower. He has also figured out what other ingredients to use in accompaniment with the cannabis and has perfected the flavor to his liking.

☆ High Primo is very mellowed out and slow-moving, but also a LOT more affectionate. There's something about the physical sensation that comes from touching you that he can't get enough of when he's blitzed, and this can lead to rather… frisky activities more often than not. Regardless, his favorite activities to do with you while high are to read with you sat in his lap, tend to his garden (he feels so much more connected with nature), and to do puzzles (500 pieces usually, something quick and easy).

SECONDO

☆ Secondo, in my humble opinion, is a guy who loves to smoke blunts. As someone who enjoys smoking cigars he would absolutely prefer his weed wrapped in tobacco leaf. He would take his time while puffing it to savor the taste of it all, especially if the blunt wrap was flavored. He's taught himself to roll blunts and joints for occasions just like 4/20 (which is a Ministry-wide celebration, let's be frank), but he definitely prefers the former for sure. If he were to smoke a joint, it would be a spliff so he could still get that nicotine rush.

☆ There's something about the way Secondo looks as he is rolling his blunt that drives you just a little crazy. His brow furrowed in concentration as he wets the paper with his tongue and lips, nimble fingers getting the shape just right… yeah, you've got heart-eyes for sure. And when he actually starts smoking the blunt he looks so handsome, especially as he adheres to the puff-puff-pass rule and makes sure you get your fair share, too. What a gentleman!

☆ As both of your minds get fuzzier and fuzzier it becomes increasingly harder to keep your hands off of each other. Eventually you are seated in his lap shotgunning smoke back and forth with him, hands wandering and mouths exploring. It never takes long for you two to fall into bed together and see how far it can go. By the way, the blunt stays lit the whole time you're in bed together. He loves to hit it mid-fuck and pass it for you to do the same. When you're not having sex his favorite things to do with you while faded are to play card games, take a short afternoon nap with you nestled against him, and to taste-test new bottles of alcohol he's brought home.

TERZO

☆ Terzo loves joints. No question about it. The only thing is that he sucks at rolling them (he can't even stuff a pre-rolled cone), so he either leaves it to you (if you can) or the two of you will have to make a trip to the dispensary in preparation for 4/20. If you can roll, Terzo will not be able to tear his eyes away from you, admiring your handiwork while also falling impossibly deeper in love with you. It's endearing, the way he stares, and he makes sure to show you just how devoted he is after the two of you share a few puffs.

☆ When he's high, Terzo is unabashed about letting out the romantic in him. Usually he's shy about it, but after hitting the joint he's all honeyed words and sweet little kisses as he pulls you close, murmuring in your ear about how there's no one else in the world for him but you. He has a mint-condition gramophone along with an extensive vinyl collection and, when high, more often than not will put on some music and ask you to dance with him!

☆ He's oh so cute when this happens, whisking you around the room with one hand on your waist and the other clasped in your hand. He's a crooner when he's blazed and simply can't help himself from wanting to sing and dance! He feels very in-touch with the performer in him and relishes when you let him indulge in it after he's retired. The two of you make a lovely sight, spinning each other around and belting your favorite songs like there's no tomorrow. It's like there's no one else on earth but the two of you, making these moments ones that you will always hold dear. That being said, along with singing and dancing, some things Terzo loves to do with you when high are to watch reality television (RuPaul's Drag Race is a personal favorite of his) and to draw/paint together.

COPIA

☆ Copia is a bong guy. Something easy to use that will get you high fast is more his style, so they're perfect for him. He has a clear one with a bunch of stickers on it, some pop culture and some music-related, that he loves very much. He even has a grinder with a little rat on it! He also takes very good care of his glass and cleans his bong, bowl, and downstem so frequently they look like you could eat off of them. He likes the feeling of getting the cleanest experience he can while smoking and thus is very religious about when and how he cleans his paraphernalia.

☆ When high, Copia is a huge cuddlebug and will almost always ask you if you want to play with his rats. You can tell how bonded he is with each of them simply based on the way he greets them as he opens their cage and gingerly takes them out one by one. And his stoned little giggles as he lets them crawl all over him are downright precious. He would be so excited to show you the tricks he's been teaching them, but sometimes would fumble the command because of how high he was. Adorable.

☆ Copia is also a huge yapper when high. All it would take is one adoring look from you to profess his love for you and hold you close in his arms as he pretty much tells you the same thing over and over again, just a little differently each time. He's just so high and so, so in love with you. He also is prone to getting anxious when he smokes and that anxiety could manifest this way as he worries he doesn't tell you that he loves you enough (although you always reassure him that he does). In addition to playing with his rats, Copia also loves playing his retro video games with you and making delicious lunches/dinners together.

PERPETUA

☆ Perpetua, like Terzo, prefers joints as well. He also is unnaturally good at rolling them. I'm talking perfect cone every time complete with a filter at the end AND it burns perfectly. So, the morning of 4/20 he is rolling a handful of them for the two of you to smoke throughout the day. His favorite papers to use are the purple Blazy Susans and he prefers to use the RAW filter tips when he rolls, the magic taking place on a cute little rolling tray with a custom Grucifix design.

☆ When high, Perpetua loves to spend as much time outside as possible. He will insist on taking the two of you on a stroll through the garden so you can admire the handiwork of Primo and his ghouls. Before the two of you leave for this, you prepare picnic supplies (which includes another joint) so you guys can enjoy a meal where the weed makes the food taste absolutely decadent, even if it's just sandwiches and chips.

terzo

okay this man LOVES to cook

it’s one of his favourite hobbies, and getting to cook for someone he loves just makes it so much better

he’s one of the people who Highly encourages everyone to try every single food at least once, even if they think they won’t like it

so when you tell him that you have an allergy, he gets kind of disappointed because that means it limits what he can cook

at least it’s not that common of a food, right?

right?

RIGHT?

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO GARLIC??”

this man is Distraught when you tell him that

this is an italian man, he has garlic in his bloodstream

he stares at you for so long that you think you May have broken him

this is quite possibly the longest he’s ever been quiet for and you’re starting to get worried

once he does speak, it’s in a very strained and broken voice

“thAt’S fINe”

peep him throwing out his dinner plan for the rest of the week

you know

so he can still get kisses from you

IS the type of boyfriend to make sure that your allergens have been nowhere NEAR your food when you go out to eat

he’s not risking anything happening to his beloved

copia

one of copia’s many love languages is cooking

he really likes being in the kitchen (whether that’s baking or cooking)

he’s always cooking recipes from his nonna or zia

whenever he has a bad day, you can bet he’ll be in the kitchen making one of his comfort dishes

his first reaction when you tell him that you’re allergic to tomatoes is one of shock and horror

squealing and clutching his hands to his face like you just told him you killed someone

“oh amore! that’s such a horrible fate!”

but he’s quick-thinking!

he realizes that he has so many recipes that don’t require tomatoes!

starts by making you some of his favourites

then he starts trying to make other dishes and substitutes the tomatoes for other things

until he makes a lasagna one night

then both of you agree that he should Never do that again and stick to making the recipes he knows will be good

it’s the thought that counts though!!

you think it’s really sweet that he cares so much to make the effort

especially knowing how many of his favourite dishes have tomatoes in them

get ready to eat a LOT of pastina because it’s one of his comfort dishes that doesn’t have tomato in it

perpetua

this may be a controversial opinion that might get me shot

but

i Don’t think that this man can cook

i understand why you would think he could!

but i lean too far into him being an Entity to believe in good faith that he can cook

so when you tell this man that you have a gluten allergy, he pretty much frog blinks at you

“baby, i can barely make toast”

“i can’t eat toast-“ 

“FUCK”

even though he can’t cook meals for you like the others can

he’s VERY attentive to making sure anything you eat is gluten-free

perpetua will double and even triple-check the package of any food he buys

when the two of you go out to eat he’ll tell the waiter that you have a gluten allergy at EVERY chance he gets

just because he wants to make sure there’s no mix-ups

it’s his way of showing how much he cares and how he wants to do what he can to help out

because even though he may not be able to cook, he wants to make sure that you’re eating right

and managing to avoid all your allergies

he may forget to feed himself at times, but he’ll Never forget to remind you to eat or to check the label on something

Something about the taboo of it, at his age, to be approached with such an extreme imbalance of experience. They joke about the Papas deflowering virgins (or, in some prejudiced circles, of sacrificing them) but the reality is that he’s a few decades too old for such things to regularly occur. He’d thrive off it, though, the little insecure glances and hesitant touches, the surprised gasps and shy reactions, all of which he can meet with the steely gaze of someone who knows exactly how to inflict pleasure beyond your comprehension. He’s not above using some little helpers to make sure he can keep going for you for as long as it takes to wear you out. This man is patient, well-aware you need proper preparation before you can even dream to take him, and he is not in a hurry anymore. He’ll grasp those moments when he can and it’s a gratifying experience for the both of you.

Secondo

Very conscious to talk about your limits beforehand. It is rare for him to encounter this, usually he’s spending time with people who are also experienced and know exactly what they’re looking for but in this case (as I think I showed in my fic) he would get a thrill from seeing you responding to pleasures you’ve never even dreamed of, especially knowing that of all the people he’s the one you trust with your body. He knows he is skilled, confident, also surprisingly a little playful with you to ease your nerves, and he’d spend a good amount of time making sure you find your pleasure before indulging himself. Patient as a teacher, but not coddling, he’ll show you where you can go if you’re feeling brave but there is never any pressure to go further. More than likely he will have lube and other little helpers there, just to make sure you’re not in any sort of (unwanted) pain. And because it’s rare he’ll let you explore more of him than he’d usually permit, those hesitant, curious fingers on him he does not dare to push away. It’s almost too intimate for him, really, and he’s going to feel more than just a little possessive of you afterwards.

Terzo

In my opinion, the Papa you would go to if you were actively looking to have your first time and wanted someone you know will take good care of you, but if there are feelings involved? It will be the experience of a lifetime. He is sensual from the beginning, the scene is set, candle-light to make you feel less self-conscious, comforting scents, soft sheets. He calls you sweet names, eases your nerves with a few jests and smiles. It will happen at your pace, he will guide but not as firmly as Secondo would, rather he’d let you come to your own conclusions with just minor prompting. He’ll patiently answer questions, show you the sort of touches you might enjoy and let you explore without expectation. He might tease you a little when you tense, to make sure you don’t take it too seriously, and he’ll show you what he likes to make you feel more proactive in the encounter, to inspire some confidence in you. Learns to read you well within minutes, and he’s creative, playful, very conscious of the trust you offer, it’s an overall perfect encounter that you feel you had just as much part in as he did, even though he subtly led you through it all with that vast treasure of experience he has.

Copia

It will drive him a little bit insane, I won’t lie, knowing that he’ll be your first. He’s aware virginity is a tool of patriarchy but also– fuck. It is hot that you trust him to take such good care of you. A lot of talking will happen, constant question if you are feeling okay, if what he’s doing feels good, if you want more or if it’s too much etc., and it is for his own reassurance more so than your own. He might be more nervous about this than you are to be honest, the sheer horror of potentially ruining your first impressions of it. But through it all you will feel comfortable, because despite the nerves on both ends he does not make you feel inexperienced but rather worshipped, like he wants to make sure that all the stars in the sky are sparkling behind your eyes when he finally makes you come. He is so into you, so so into you, the best thing about it is how heavily he reacts to your body, knowing you’ve never been touched this way before. You’ll feel high on the pleasure you’re providing him, drunk on the reciprocity of it all.

Perpetua

He’d be into it, I think, like really into it. It’s not that he really cares about body counts (in that context lol) but there is something about the fact you’re facing the unknown with him that is just exciting. He’d be frantically trying to make this a good experience, one you’ll want to come back to because he doesn’t do casual, really, and once he feels you he will want more. So he’ll be holding back, give you just enough, at first, but you wouldn’t be here if you were a coward, let’s be honest, he’s not exactly the approachable cute guy from next door. So, he’d be delighted to hear you begging for more once you’ve tasted a hint of pleasure. If you’re responding to it I think he would be a little mocking, not in a mean way, but trying to coax more out of you and make you see how good he feels and how nice it is to let go. “You can take more, baby, can’t you? Let me fuck you harder?” and you’d scream yes because really you can TELL he is holding back. He likes it passionate, he said, well, it will be passionate and there is no way you won’t be crawling back for more.

we don't know much about his early life. i don't doubt that marika raised him with as much love as she could, but that doesn't mean there were no shapes ready for him to grow into. i assume he was very clever in certain ways, yet not showy enough in others, and i think that's partly where his spitefulness started. that gnawing half-awareness that you technically know what you're supposed to become, or at least what you would want to become, what others wish you'd turn into, but you just... struggle comprehending how you could genuinely get there, realistically. like holy shit, this is a huge jump. am i even equipped for it? am i the right person?

i think a lot of copia's personality has been created around exactly that: what others might expect of him. sometimes i wonder, does he even know, with genuine clarity, what he wants from life? what he wants to be? has he ever known that for certain? i also think about this in relation to other characters i explore in my fic, both canon and ocs, because (though no human being is 100% certain about anything, i think), in comparison to cardi they tend to be more... clear in their goals and self-identity. they either know who they are or who they'd rather not be or who'd they prefer to become. and technically... so does cardinal copia, but does he really? or has some part of him perhaps naively hoped that becoming papa would have been an answer of its own?

i like wasting time on creating new wips exploring who he could have been before and right after the coup in other high clergy's eyes, and for my core story i've mostly leaned into the "oh he was actually a competent, though socially awkward person with asshole-adjacent tendencies, whom a lot of people suspected of being seestor's son" territory

i love when people explore c's possible prior bond with his half-brothers, it makes the coup all the more heartbreaking and complex, but i personally mostly write ghurch drama as. yknow. old europe's religious struggles.

which brings us to the brutus narrative. I DO NOT MIND THE BRUTUS NARRATIVE. that is, that of his betrayal of terzo despite them possibly having been close in the past, before hierarchies and power struggles crept in. more than that, i am nostalgically fond of said fanon idea.

but, having spent a few years rotating these guys in my mind, my perception of them has shifted to some degree & i cannot really imagine terzo hanging out with cardi out of all the bishops and cardinals in their youth (based on a blend of canon, my assumptions, and my worldbuilding for this one particular big fic)

also! also because the "it's (mostly) just business" approach to power climbing feels far more realistic from a political behind-the-scenes standpoint in so many ways. like, the number of times a semi-uninteresting colleague is going to betray you is far larger than the number of dramatic ET TU, BRUTE?? events. which doesn't make it less or more thrilling of an option, just. a different one.

oooh oops sorry we spied on you. IT'S JUST BUSINESS. ooops aww i totes leaked that recording by accident. big religious organisations are rarely different from warring political parties within a government, in certain ways.

uhm where was i. popular opinion most likely. which is that copia knew of the coup to some degree. just not necessarily of its full extent. "yayyy i might finally become a papa?!! and make everyone proud??!!— wait, no, shucks, i didn't necessarily want the previous guys gone—"

this wonderful animatic has forever shaped my perception of pre-/early-papacy copia. this feels like such an obvious statement to make but i am convinced some large part of his fear of mortality/death might have come from hardly-acknowledged guilt/possible fear of repercussions. not only because of #karma, but also because he knows the machine that is his church so intimately. he knows how it devours.

𝖙𝖆𝖌 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @genuinezenith ⛧ @sakuraspoke ⛧ @necropolitus ⛧ @1800villageidiot ⛧ @genxgigi

"Come on Copia, just one last set, then you can rest."

Huge beads of sweat are rolling down Copia's forehead, leaving a trail of wetness on his neck and making their way through the forest of dark hairs that populates his chest.

"Amore, I don't know if I can do more squats. I've already done so many, I lost count!"

As he closes his eyes his brows crease and his mouth turns into a grimace, painting a pained expression on his face.

"I know you can do it, my love, you've lifted this kind of weight before."

Your tone is stern, but encouraging.

Copia is crouching down, his knees bent, showing his flexed muscles through his form fitting workout clothes, one dumbbell in each of his hands. A pained whine escapes his lips.

"Besides, you know how much I love your round ass." You coo into his ear, your soft lips grazing his skin.

You slide your hand from his lower back to one of his plump glutes, caressing it slowly once you're there.

"Just imagine how I'll play with it once you're done here..."

You give a tight squeeze to his behind, making him jump almost imperceptibly at the sudden change of sensation.

A needy moan comes out of Copia's mouth and with a surge of newfound energy he lifts the weights he is holding.

"Just one more set, right?"

His tight pants don't leave anything to the imagination, betraying his newly formed erection.

"Just one more set."

PRIMO

TYPE: GROUND - As a gardener, Primo holds a penchant for Pokémon associated with earth, from where all things came and will inevitably return. In his eyes, what are we without the ground beneath our feet? Pokémon that embody this hold a special place in his heart. TEAM: ⛰️ Golurk - Nicknamed "Mammoth," Primo's Golurk enjoys watching him tend to his gardens and will do any heavy lifting to help! Primo also lets it touch some of the plants and flowers with the trust that it will be gentle, which it always is. ⛰️ Runerigus ⛰️ Rhyperior ⛰️ Mudsdale ⛰️ Hippowdon ⛰️ Excadrill

SECONDO

TYPE: FIRE - Secondo finds a rare beauty in fire types, having a deep appreciation and respect for Pokémon who are as graceful as they are deadly. Their flickering flames and tendency to leave ash in innocuous places endears him to no end. TEAM: 🔥 Houndoom - Nicknamed "Diesel," Secondo has a very soft spot for this not-so-little pooch. In his downtime you can find them playing fetch outside or Diesel curling up on Secondo's lap for a snooze while he reads. It's hard for a Pokémon Diesel's size to fit entirely on a lap but, man, does he try! 🔥 Arcanine 🔥 Centiskorch 🔥 Talonflame 🔥 Skeledirge 🔥 Magmortar

TERZO

TYPE: PSYCHIC - Pokémon who have the ability to inflict damage on the psyche are fascinating to Terzo as a cerebral person himself. He also thinks that the wise and graceful aesthetic of psychic types are a sight to behold. He is confident that they read his mind often but doesn't mind one bit. TEAM: 🌀 Gardevoir - Nicknamed "Ambrosia," Terzo's Gardevoir is one of his closest companions. You can often find them going on strolls around the Ministry together, appreciating the artwork adorning the walls. He has also taught Ambrosia how to play Uno and loses often because of it. 🌀 Alakazam 🌀 Gothitelle 🌀 Musharna 🌀 Reuniclus 🌀 Meowstic

COPIA

TYPE: POISON - Because of his experiences with being underestimated as Cardinal, Copia is naturally drawn toward the underdog of types. He loves Pokémon that may be overlooked by some because that just means he gets to give them all the love they deserve himself. TEAM: ☣️ Toxicroak - Nicknamed "Hemlock," Copia loves to show off his beloved partner Pokémon whenever he can to whoever he can. When he's not busy, Copia can be found in the Ministry library reading his favorite texts to Hemlock! He has also introduced his rats to his curious partner but touching them is unfortunately not permitted (this is where Copia's gloves come in handy). ☣️ Garbodor ☣️ Muk ☣️ Skuntank ☣️ Vileplume ☣️ Dragalge

PERPETUA