#copedpoorly

death of an optimist meme ( accepting ) + @copedpoorly // dante

They talk themselves in circles, don’t they! About all the hypotheticals about life. She kinda like that, those moments with Dante talking shit or feeling serious, it’s like a ROADMAP of possible ups and downs of bullshit that seems to come flying their way at any given moment. It’s like an exercise that they unspool parts of each other from, and she’s like, honestly kind of grateful that she gets on with him as well as she does, considering she’s like, hated every single one of Hart’s exes. Maybe this is what makes the difference, when, it’s not just about the other person, but how they melt into the rest of your life.

The topic on deck today, as they smoke off of her rooftop, Hart grabbing more drinks, was different then how would you kill someone and get away with it or what super power would you have and why or even name the most influential artist of our time and what sealed it for you. Shit that, THEY BOTH KNEW would cause a fight, but they loved disturbing the peace, in making life memorable, even if it was a night of yelling, who couldn’t say they ever laughed more? But tonight they take a more serious stance, “What would you do,” she asked, her tongue whiskey-slicked and her eyes in a daze. “If you found out you were sick and you were going to die. What would you do with the time you had left?”

                       ❛  i’ve  got  one  life  so  i’m  gonna  live  it .  ❜

richard siken meme ( accepting ) + @copedpoorly // dante

God fucking damnit. Fingers pinch at her brow, a cigarette burning between her fingers. Yes, she wants to say. This is a fucking mess. It’s supposed to be fun! Movies and the sand and the waves and the way that they’re all hanging out, but, RELATIONSHIP DRAMA never fails to rear its head. It’s almost incestuous, how they’ve all dated each other, folded in partners, it’s a stew that only ever boils and bubbles with them all in it, tempers flaring. Mateo and Evelyn go at it and scream, and Avery’s got a fucking headache for it because she’s getting in the middle and making her own trouble with it. That, too, is fucking the theme, isn’t it, and she’s just tired of everyone fighting and getting on with it. They date, they break up, they cry, and get back togeher.

                       At least some of them are doing better. Hart, Dante...

The fighting’s just like. A reminder for her. The way she’s never been good at it, only ever PICKING FIGHTS HERSELF and causing trouble, the one who’s instigated these same headaches. Partially left wondering how Carmen put up with her, and her wicked ways, all that gaslighting, the lying, the lightening up, of casual affairs, oh god, she was no good. It just pinches awful in her chest. These aren’t the fun kind of arguments for her, are they.

Even Maya’s on the up and up, and she loves that for her, glancing at Dante with a weary grin for the way he knows she’s got a FUCKING HEADACHE over this. 

                “ do you want to go home now? ”

richard siken meme ( accepting ) + @copedpoorly // dante

They smoke weed on the beach, as the movie loads up, and she’s there on her own for a once, unpeeled from the side of different friends at that sideways beck of his head, Dante’s got some and he wants to share, and, Avery always likes the company for it. Or maybe they both do, getting high’s fun and all that shit, but it’s better when YOU GOT A FRIEND to keep yourself from spiralling. Though he no longer has that as a reason, does he? Dante, who emerges from catfights and violent confrontations with his secret out, and she wonders, does that leave him lighter? Perhaps unburned by the truth that he’d had her keep as his secret, pausing as the lighter flickers to life, that look on her face, pretty poised and exhausted, all at once.

The scratch on her cheek’s faded beneath the careful blending of concealer earlier in the night, but that’s all washed off when Avery runs out into the ocean to wade, the water at her calves, the salt scooped through her hair, over her face. The way she laughs and pulls Maya in to chase around within the waves, IT’S ALL FUN, and honestly, she’s missed this, all of them, just hanging out for the fuck of it. Before all the relationship drama, before everything turns upside down.

                    “ do you love yourself? ”