#contessinas

                         she calls me the devil,   i make her wanna sin.   

    Elena’s question catches Martin off his guard, startling him so much he’s paralysed for a moment. He means to laugh, not out of humour, but because the idea alone sounds absurd – and yet, hadn’t he had the same thought when returning? He holds himself back, then, reaches for her hand in a reassuring gesture, or at least he hopes it is.

    “Look into my eyes,” he says, half a request and half a demand, and doesn’t speak again until she meets his eye. “Tell me how… How could I possibly not want you?” His voice is soft when he asks, and he intertwines their fingers, never gazing away. “All these years gone by, all this time, and I have ached for you every day.” The words come out easily, for they’re truthful. There hasn’t been a day in five years in which he didn’t think of her – her voice,  her laughter, her bright smiles. 

    Martin shakes his head, bites his lip. He has questions of his own, but this isn’t the time to ask them; they will have plenty of it, God willing the rest of their lives. “I have changed, too, Elena, I cannot lie about that. Five years is a very long time,” is what he says, instead. In five years, a broken man had to put himself together in order to win a war, and the war had won him a crown he didn’t use to want. Still, if it got him closer to the one thing he wanted the most… “But my love for you has never changed. It never will. You ask me if I want you? I have never stopped. I still do now.” 

   “Not just any man.” Adelaide’s response was firm and immediate; she had been facing James through the mirror, but turned over to glance at him directly, a sharp look in her eyes. “Besides,” she raised her eyebrows, “what am I truly risking? A life of wealth, no doubt, but not the crown. God well knows it’s a prize I shall never possess.”

   She turned back to the mirror, returning to the chore of combing her hair, and let out a deep sigh. “And even if the crown was in jeopardy,” she began, then, carefully and not daring to look at him once again, “I would still be willing to give it up for us. You are far more precious to me than a piece of jewelry, even if it comes with a throne.”

   “this is the place where the revolution really started.” her voice is soft underneath the moonlight, summer wind disarraying locks of red hair. in another time it had been winter and they had dreamed of a life they knew could never be.

   the lake stares at them, remains unchanged though everything has changed so much. it had known her as disgraced princess and as queen of a country; it had known them as doomed lovers and as rightful rules. could never be. but it was.

   the wind blows through green leaves and trees whisper, uncertain, what would you do if I said I want you? oh, so young she’d been back then. would you have me? he would. he had. 

   once upon a time she has given herself to him in this place, soul if not body then. winter nights had seen hushed confessions and quiet embraces and no hope of a future, but the summer has them in all of their glory, and the air buzzes around them as if nature itself acknowledges their power.

   but there are some things even the garden hasn’t seen, many things. tears of sorrow and loss and of joy, bodies curled up together on a small bed in a cottage, a crimson red wedding dress, secret meetings in a hidden room. yet it is still home – it is home now, their home, and they will never have to leave it behind again. 

   so she takes his hand into hers, presses it against her still unnoticeable belly. “i’m with child, James,” she tells him, the words she has been keeping to herself, the ones she has wished to say for such a long time. “our child, our family.” she breathes in, deeply. when has either one of them truly known family? 

“I know.” O olhar no rosto de Martin era sereno quando ele falou, não denunciando seus sentimentos de forma alguma. Raramente demonstrava o que sentia de fato. Aprendera a camuflar suas emoções durante os anos de guerra, quando não fora mais do que um rapaz com muito ainda a compreender. Se mostrar vulnerável não era uma opção. Demonstrar fraqueza não seria de utilidade alguma no campo de batalha. Tampouco lhe seria útil naquele momento. “And I respect that… I will respect your wish,” reformulou a frase, umedecendo os lábios antes de prosseguir. “Because I know what’s at stake. Elena, I truly do,” afirmou mais uma vez, o tom de voz fraquejando brevemente em sua tentativa de assegurá-la. “But before I leave, I must say this,” respirou fundo, procurando a calma da qual necessitava para continuar, para confessar a ela a verdade. “You have my heart, you know? You’ve had it since the moment I saw you. I dare say you’ll always have it,” mordeu o canto do lábio, sentindo uma repentina urgência de correr dali, esquecer-se para sempre das palavras que queria dizer a ela. Mas, embora Martin fosse muitas coisas, covarde não era uma delas. “I know we can never be together, not really. A part of me is glad for you because you deserve so much better, and still…,” balançou a cabeça em sinal de negativa, oferecendo-lhe um pequeno sorriso sem humor algum. “Still I wish we could be. Because I love you, much more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone, much more than my own life. And I’m just thankful I knew you, and you brought such beauty into my life, things I have never known before. I – I think you should know that, before I go,” piscou os olhos algumas vezes, buscando se livrar da sensação de ardência que indicava que não levaria muito tempo até que as lágrimas viessem. “You should know that, so when you feel like you’re not enough, you’re reminded of me and how I’d have done anything to prove you that you are… If only I could.” Mais um sorriso triste surgiu em seus lábios, mas desapareceu tão rapidamente quanto. “Goodbye, my princess,” sussurrou, então, como se fizesse uma confissão, antes de dar as costas a Elena e caminhar na direção oposta, forçando-se a não olhar para trás. @contessinas

     SEND ME AN ALBUM! i’ve done red here ♥

posso vir chorar no seu colo dps??