#contentment?

Which in most cases would lead me to make a comment about being a Romulan or having the Vulcans "Bendii syndrome" but idealistically I've never been so passionately full of hate, then happiness, then irrational thought, then hypersensitive, in all my life for more than one day to not think about my current condition seriously.

I finally got a day to clear my head and set aside some time to myself to realise that it had everything to do with my stressful workload over the last 3 weeks. I had been babysitting for my mother during school holidays as well as working on video projects as well as working heaps of shifts at my casual pub job.

Along with personal stressful issues, and continuous harassment (which no one knows about because I honestly believe no one really cares), I've been unable to feel appropriately towards people or maintain social interaction with any sole person, without feeling claustrophobic and frustrated, during the last fortnight.

Thankfully, I have only one video project to complete and a couple of photo albums to sort, touch up and upload, and I don't have to babysit again after Monday, so I can get back into my exercise regime and less packed-in, stressful days.

After losing all sense of rationality over the last 24 hours, and behaving very unlike my usual poised self on Facebook, I've finally seen that my only social interaction over the last fortnight has been brief night time outings for public screenings, supporting friends in bands and absolutely no time for me to get to do the things I usually get around to doing, including seeing my BFF.

I've finally got my time back again, and my nerve to laugh at people instead of actually getting offended about nothing. I've also decided to channel these heavily hateful sensations into film work of no particular direction. I'm setting up my studio this evening after work to prepare for a few projects I've lined up. I'm still a bit shakey, disappointed in myself and generally miserable about everything, but I will be hanging out with some dear friends I haven't seen properly in over a month who never fail to fill me with the sensation of companionship and general concern about me without even looking on my overly-dramatic Facebook rants.