#consumedconsumingconsumed

i died recently. there must be changes due to that. christ, can they haunt. call me a cab. all the pidgepns look like pipebombs.do you want out?

× clockers: 8/620

× decider: 1/177

× soft machine: 60/182

÷ kurz-reutov organism: 217/2292

÷ saline horse jokeage (novosibirsk): 16/272

÷ passages in jjl befriended: 50/328

÷ psyche: 30/424

÷ Dch-Q: 163/892

÷ 7 nonorganisms: 4 yellow, 4 dark, 2 rhombous

(÷) silverman teal embolism: 36/397 (on hold)

(÷) retread of pirate tomorrow: 156/156 (done)

(÷) red corey logic: 106/293 (t. done)

breath counter (140)

Reminders of being alive (8/11/24 onwards): 1

short description of current intermittance scheme:

1. perhaps stop ssris

2. oh man. od when the clock strikes 12? christ.

DEADLINE: 22:22 4th December (HIT/LOSE) PRACTICE RESURRECTION

DEADLINE: 4:44 9th July (HIT/WIN) BORON FRANKENSTEIN

POST-MORTEM: 26th December (HIT/WIN) FOR IT IS MY MAGNESIUM BLOOD

DEADLINE: 9th February (HIT/LOSE) ALABASTER STAGE

DEADLINE:26THMAY(HIT/LOSE)KNOCKOUTEVER

> ( migranes ) cystic stabbing counter: 20 (helper?-yes) 6/10, 4/15 notes: codeine dulls, doesn't help. low dose dipyrone resultless. checking high dose. paracetamol placebo, useless. ibuprofen burns. caffeine maybe affects something. high dose dipyrone maybe works. High dose dipyrone works! . 7/5/26 they have been happening every day for a week now and i don't understand why. there's a heatwave aura that i haven't noticed before.

> (massive nightly chest pains) alienator: counter: 4015 (helper?-no) echo: nothing. bloodwork: nothing. painkillers don't work. i can't sleep like this anymore. 7/5/26 learning to sleep on my back. automatically sleep in a way which minimizes pain. still get sad that i can never sleep while hugging somebody or being hugged.

> (nape taze) happens is cascades. varies in severity. fullbody seizure if i somersault in water. no idea. somehow connected to feelings of invasion + mirror touch synesthesia. [start marking them down in time. Track connection to riding a cns depressant/ stimulant] *lhermette's sign is the organic nickname 4 this thing but it's likely incorrect, no connection to movement of the neck

> (26sleep) feb-apr was bad. 2-3 days no sleep followed by hybernation. nearly no recollection of this time. saw heard said wrote and thought things which had no cause. either onset or accelrrated due to emotional distress. as of 7/5/26, sleeping about 8h a day for two-ish weeks. if i sleep 4 the world starts getting blurry. this used to happen only after 48h of no sleep at all. still seeing wrong things sometimes. quietely walking around and around with a scalpel, trying to gauge the reality of whispers. can read again. feel like all my writing sucks. dunno if i ought to pull all nighters anymore. obviously i can. but i cannot control myself at all when delusional, it's bad. don't want to be classified.

green gift: 2 (tot. 4)

synthetic dream rituals fulfilled? – yes

does yesterday melt? – oh boy. it never unmelts. they are truly one. i ghost the therapist.

art tag -> #wolframmidnights , tag for delicious techniques -> #technique delicious , thinngs i might draw -> #consumedconsumingconsumed

reblogs -> #sky coloured meat

textposts -> #meat tasting sky

(last two tags are under construction)