#consultingcumberbitch

Well, personally, I think 2012 was one of my worst years in terms of life. Forgive me for forgetting a lot of it.

I'm not saying that there weren't good/awesome things:

Started going out with Jawn. (Feb, but first started RPing end of 2011)

Sherlock had episodes on Tv.

I went to preview screenings of:

Doctor Who:

Talked to Mark Gatiss (Who I thanked for an amazing time Summer 2011 watching filming and that I learnt so much. I also asked him if I could mention xyz from the Reichenbach filming, which he said I could, but I think he was just trying to brush it away and I am not saying. Sorry.), Blogtor Who, Sue Vertue, Moffs youngest son, amongst some others. 

and Wizards vs Aliens:

Wizards vs Aliens was an awesome preview screening, I talked to lots of the main actors, an Exec producer, a producer and the composer. I went for a meal with some of them. Got complimented on my attire by Tony Lee/ Then got bought a drink by Phil Ford.

I went to several plays and met lots of actors and a couple of cool writers. (The writer of 55 days and Rob Sherman, the same night as most of the cast of 55 days, inc Mark Gatiss and also Damien Maloney was there, I talked to him a couple of times.

I met my Jawn. That was the best two weeks. The absolute highlight. Love me my Jawn.

Oh, I came out as not entirely straight to my Mother.

I also thanked Mark Gatiss as being a leading force into me meeting Jawn, because he was and I feel like I owe him, Gatiss, all of Sherlock, plus Cabin Pressure, John Finnemore and Benedict for my Jawn. Definitely Andrew Scott actually, because my mind is infected with Moriarty and that's why I started RPing. So, there's a lot of other people I feel grateful to. So, I sort of came out to Mark Gatiss and he shook my hand and yeah.

I just remembered I went to see John Finnemore's souvenir programme earlier in the year with Molls (RP'er of Molly Hooper, visiting the right country ;) ) and we met John Finnemore, Lawry Lewin and I can't remember if we talked to the others or not because it was ages ago. :/

I started selling random things on Etsy, which was fun, I like it, except occasionally when life and my brain act against me sending things and I feel awful.

People on Tumblr are amazing, I've met some wonderful and generous people on here. People who bought things and allowed me to eat, pay bills and still spend a bit on my Jawn. (With help from family too)

I became a Tumblr Mum with Jawn to Emmy and I'm very happy and proud of this. 

I turned 21! Yeah, can't really remember it much. I had a weekend in Cardiff with lots of drinking on not a lot of money... Travelling lemon.... A weekend in London, including 2 different plays (Love love love (I think) and King's Speech (On it's finally peformance)) and a day with family.

I joined a Theatre Group and I'm going to be in a Panto at the end of January in Cardiff. (Come see it at the YMCA 23rd-26th Jan, I'm a merry man!)

I moved to Cardiff to commute to Uni in Newport.

Additions/Reminders by people:

I took part in the awesome Cabin Crew Riot! Met some wonderful people!

Then I took part in the Sherlock Weekend Wingding. More awesomeness!

It just feels outweighed by bad things:

I spent most of the year in love with someone in another country and I don't do things lightly. It's incredibly hard, but I know it's worth it.

I got so stressed with Uni, thanks to my group that I got a stress headache within seconds of thinking of Uni. They said I had done nothing and never showed up for meetings. Nor did I contribute enough to the group. I really hope that the actually large amount of input into the group I had, made them struggle a bit more. (Yes, I'm slightly bitter. But all of them are quite crap. Just being honest. 2 of them were resitting and the other had transferred in from performing arts as a mature student. She (L) and the writer/editor (T) basically didn't know what they were doing and acted like they were perfect, whilst barely doing any work and work ridiculously slowly. Sound/lighting (M) knew he was unreliable but still did his best, whilst being up front about not doing his best. Except, he hadn't had much work to do at that point. I can't even be bothered to go through it all now. If you care, ask.

Anyway, I lost enthusiasm as a result. For film, for uni, for Newport as a whole.

I left my group, but felt more reclusive and unable to go to Uni. However, I was a lot less stressed and as soon as I left my group I sat and laughed for a few minutes, as it kept washing over me.

I now was in a group of my own. After being in a group of 4. I am a writer/director, occasional actor. That's sort of how it ended up. I worked from scratch. I chose a new poem from the choice and then discussed with my family a bit, with some friends a bit. Then with my camera guy/editor, who's a friend outside of Uni and we went to his flat one day, with some props from my house, bought some food in tescos and made it up as we went along. By this time I had it basically planned out, but still... I'll post the best still of the film up after this post, you'll like it probably... Who knows... Experimental film is actually fun. Stop motion is a bugger.... Human stop motion not as much, but is for the editor. Heh. I hate editing.

Anyway, I'm now on Anti-depressants. I blame a long-distance relationship and an uninspiring Uni course/year group. There is really very few people in the year I'll consider working with, which is a bum.

Christmas in my Cardiff home felt more like Christmas than the one back home. It was a different house, less people, less Christmas day like. We didn't even have Uno. I missed my Jawn.

I had very little money all year. Moments where I had less than £5 at the bottom of my overdraft.

I've spent a year missing Jawn. 

I've spent 2 and a half years missing my sister grow up. I see her most months, but it's not the same. We're very close, she loves me greatly. I was the first person she said "I love you" to. And it was on the phone. She's described me as her "best friend in the world" and she constantly looks after one of my toys which I call "Baby Leo" (He was the same colour as my actual rabbit Leo when I got him and he's smaller), she calls him "Becky's baby".

That's another thing, my sister stopped calling me "Batby", it became my name, I like it, I've never really liked "Becky". Now, I'm "Becky", it's my Mum's fault.... But I'm going to call my production company "Batbee" thanks to her. I have a wonderful image of the company logo for the start of films and stationary.

I managed to not get 2 jobs I'd been led to believe I was pretty much cert to get. Then didn't get called by the extra agency for work (again, I must cut my hair, take mug shots and check in again, now it's the new year and I can almost breathe again for free time.)

I've lost my Oyster card and my annual newport/cardiff bus pass... I really must tidy my room.

I feel so alone.

But I feel hopeful.

So, I didn't get to see as much Theatre or filming as 2011, or listen to Cabin Pressure get recorded again, so I didn't meet quite as many people. I met loads still. Loads more than most people. I had lots of wonderful opportunities. I need to stay positive I think the antidepressants are starting to help a bit.  I need to plan my life out and stick to it.