#constructionworkerorange

Hello and Happy Wednesday!

  I’m sorry that, recently, I’ve been the absolute worst at keeping up my side of the Whatever Wednesday bargain (although I suppose, in a meta, Catch-22 sense, this lack of conscientiousness too is kind of whatever). The good news is the lovely people of the Whatever Wednesday community have been picking up the slack with some highly entertaining submissions. You can check them out on the blog www.whateverwednesday.tumblr.com ! I also, you will notice, have changed the layout of the blog but it’s still kind of weird and I will probably change it again.

  My excuse for personal lameness today is that it’s my first day back in the office after 3 nights of overnight floor support. Allow me to populate the body of this email with moderately interesting details from that experience.

  + It was the nicest hospital I’ve ever seen. It looked more like freshly built upscale condominiums than a place for sick people.

+ It was also super catholic, with excerpts from scripture on the walls and a larger-than-life statute of some saint holding a child (or maybe Jesus? I don’t know, I didn’t get that close because I didn’t want to catch anything. JK!)

+ The pharmacy stocked rail whiskey (and kept it in their controlled dispense cabinet) because it’s the absolute cheapest way to treat alcohol withdrawal.

+ There is a law that nobody can be in the pharmacy if there isn’t at least one pharmacist in the pharmacy. I had never encountered this before, but ran into it a lot there since they only had one night pharmacist on duty.

+ There was a consultant in the pharmacy with me who said I looked familiar. After 5 minutes of the “how do we know each other” game, we realized that we had been at NYU together back in December.

+ The shirts they gave us to identify ourselves were contruction-worker orange. Additionally, one of the pairs of biz-caj (if you have a better phonetic abbreviation for “business casual” I’m all ears) pants I brought was a tomato-y red-orange. Additionally, the hospital is just down the road from a women’s correctional facility. I got a lot of jokes that night about how I “shouldn’t make any sudden movements” lest somebody mistake me for a “pen pal”.

  Anyway, tonight is the last Whatever Wednesday to be held at TTHM! As of next Wednesday I will be fully moved out of Titlington Hall Manor and into my new, slightly nicer residence. A monumentous occasion indeed. Come over at 8 pm to help me lay to rest all of my decrepit art supplies, boogie, break bottles, freestyle rap, tie knots, nap, expand our vocabularies, put trash in the trash, be sweet, crack skulls, perform surgery, conquer racism, teleport, reinvent the wheel, garden, come up with get-rich-quick schemes, write letters to senators, make babies, telemarket, discuss advances in environmental science, prank call Scott Walker, make a pile of spoons, read quietly, do handstands, stretch, speak in British accents, barter, or do whatever the mood dictates. This will be one for the record books!