#constructingtheimage

31/1/18

Project Title  (Thinking about the title of your project, how does it articulate what the project is communicating?)

I found it quite difficult thinking of a name for my project as there are so many things I could call it. I decided on ‘The Feeling Of’ because my project has been about the inner feelings of a male suffering with depression. Apparent in my research, a lot of men find it hard to express their true feelings and emotions, which I had tried to represent through my images.

Subject (How does your research inform your project?)

My research has been very helpful within my project and given me an insight into the statistical figures and facts of male sufferers of depression. It has made me aware of how serious it is, and how society shouldn’t expect men to be the stereotypical ‘macho’ man. Through my project, with the inspiration of my chosen photographers and this research, I wanted my images to express the emotions that men shouldn’t fear to show, and almost raise awareness.

Aims, Objectives, Concept (Do you think you have successfully achieved what you set out to convey in your work?)

I believe I have successfully achieved what I wanted to convey through my work creatively. I didn’t want to take typical images, and so used my own experiences with the people I care about to make it a very personal project. By using someone in my images who has and still is suffering with depression, it became a very honest project about opening up. I wanted to show that it is very common amongst men and that they shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed of that. The stigma of mental illness and this expectation of a ‘masculine’ man stops many men embracing how they feel, and I hope my images show acceptance of male depression.

Form, medium, presentation (How did you present your work and why? Consider the sequencing and arrangement of images. Can you suggest where it might be seen? Gallery, Magazine, Advert etc)

I decided to print my images on Lustre paper, purely because I prefer a matte effect, but as my project was based around a serious and emotional subject, I don’t think a shiny gloss paper would’ve suited it. I made my images with a small border because I think it highlights the importance of my topic, and I mounted them on foam board using a cold press. I have 5 images and arranged them closely together, four of them in a square and one underneath. I did this because my last image almost represents a summary of the four images above, and combines all the expressed emotions into one because of the many exposures in the one image. I think my images could be seen in a gallery because of the topic of my photos, and I think they would look better presented hung up on a wall against a white background.

Research Methods (Specify where you researched e.g. use of the library, internet, theory books, monographs.. what you have looked at)

After having a discussion with my boyfriend about his feelings and thoughts during the worst of his depression, I got him to summarise in a small paragraph how he felt, so we could work on ideas together for the shoot.

“My struggles with depression left me feeling isolated, alone, helpless, hopeless, guilty, ashamed and filled with self-hatred. When I would look into the mirror, if I could bare to even look at myself in the face, I saw emptiness. I felt alienated from the world, and the only place I felt alive was on my computer where I could escape the real world. That lead to me feeling more guilty and ashamed because that wasn’t ‘normal’ and alienated me even more. The more guilty I felt, the harder it would be to drag myself out of bed, so most of the time I wouldn’t. At any time I would have to go outside I would be constantly playing with my hands or biting my nails to take my mind off of anything and everything. I felt sick with who I was, what I was, a failure. Then I would feel even more hopeless that these feelings wouldn’t go away, they just grew. I never chose to isolate myself, that was done by other people, but after I became isolated it felt safer to just stay alone.”

Lewis Simmonds

We both came up with ideas of how we could represent how he felt, by using certain sentences as starting points. Once we had a few ideas, I started shooting the film and as we went along we tweaked and changed certain things to suit the image.

I shot it in his bedroom rather than the studio, as it felt more personal taking photos of him in his own space. When telling me about how he felt, it made it clear to me that he was very vulnerable. To represent this feeling of being stripped back with nothing to protect you, he either wore just pants or pants with a t-shirt.

Before I began shooting, I had already thought of a few ideas for some images. These were mainly inspired by Christian Hopkins and Edward Honaker’s body language and creative editing apparent in their photos.

As we could choose anything for our series, I decided I wanted to do something very personal to me in a documentary style. I have chosen to focus my project on depression. 

I’ve chosen this topic because my grandad was admitted to a mental unit (6 months ago) suffering with severe depression and anxiety. This was due to the worries and strains of caring for my disabled grandmother 24/7. My boyfriend also suffers with clinical depression and has done for the past 10 years.

I know this sort of topic can be seen as corny and typical, but it’s very current in mine and my family’s life at the moment. I wanted to try and represent how one with depression might be feeling, particularly male. I want to capture the emotions that they feel, using my boyfriend as a model. 

Obviously I don’t want this project to make him feel worse by using him as a model, so I have spoken to him thoroughly about what I want to portray through these images. I’ve left it to him so he can decide completely how he wants to represent his mental health.

I really want to make these images creative, and combine art with photography by physically editing the images while printing or once they are printed. I also don’t want my models face showing mainly for his privacy, but also to represent the emotions and feelings of loneliness and isolation within the image.

My grandads depression started to stem from this idea that he didn’t need any extra help and had to do everything on his own. He comes from a generation where ‘men don’t cry’ and ‘men can’t be weak’, and I think that is a massive reason why a lot of men suffer with depression. They are ashamed to say that they can’t cope or feel very sad and that it’s not the masculine way to be. After being offered more help by carers that he had come in every few days, he said ‘it’s my job, I have to look after her, I’m her husband’, which clearly indicates this ideology.

Microsoft Word - The Copy and the series.docx

Research Summary –The Copy and Series Project

Identity can be illustrated in different ways. I have chosen to express my identity through the use of photography as it has allowed me to express what I hold with high regard and respect; my religion. This was developed through inspiration of Joy Gregory’s “Autoportrait” selection of images. Gregory’s work reveals her surroundings as a teenager and her experiences as a black woman who saw the lack of black coverage in British fashion beauty in the media. Gregory stated that “I did not have access to black beauty magazines from the united states/the only black beauty images I saw were bad [...] drawings of women wearing wigs, in the small ads of my parents “Jamaica paper”. (Gregory,Page 12 ,2004) One could argue that each image shown in Gregory’s “Autoportraits” emphasises that black women are not being recognized within the media, therefore implying that her photography was a way of raising awareness. Gregory’s work also emphasises her individuality, by showing facial features of a black woman who is proud to be photographed. This inspired me to do the same, thus I used her work as a springboard for my copy project.

Gregory’s work inspired me as it display’s the misconception of the black beauty in the media. This supported my view that Islam is conceived negatively by the public as commonly, news reports contain the word “Islam” and “attack”. For example, mail online have posted headlines about ISIS related columns such as ... “Bodies of 42 men, women and children butchered by ISIS are found in mass grave at Palmyra AS Syrian troops take control of ancient site” (Wyke,2016). Gregory’s work was a stepping stone to show my viewer the true beauty behind my identity, Islam. Islamophobia, caused by misunderstanding of Islam has meant that my identity is hard to express, yet I have chosen such a controversial topic to express the art of Islam.

Inspiration was further ignited by Shirin Neshat and Idris khan. Both photographers also utilised photography as a source of expressing their individuality. Neshat examines the complexities of women’s identities in the midst of a changing cultural landscape in the Middle East—both through the lens of Western representations [...], and through the more intimate subject of personal and religious conviction. (Young) Neshat’s work illustrates life as an Iranian girl during the Islamic revolution. The development of dictatorship became strict towards women’s rights “I had never been in a country that was so ideologically based”. (Ravenal, Page 52,2002) Neshat explains how the Iranian ideological revolution was belittling women’s identity, depicting “the complex ideas of the “gaze” in mind, we might reflect on the double meaning of the word “shoot,” and consider that the camera— especially during the colonial era—was used to violate women’s bodies. The gun, [...] represents religious martyrdom” (Young) Her identity is presented through the Islamic clothing she wears and the use of Persian calligraphy which describes her views towards strict dictatorship. Both Neshat and Gregory use photography to show how women were treated. Gregory’s work shows the role of black women in the media; contrasting to Neshat’s work which presents the role of Muslim women during the Islamic revolution. The way that identity played a big role in their work inspired me to express my identity.

Idris khan also inspired my “series” project.Khan grew up as a Muslim and [...] made this work to reflect the importance that the Koran had in his childhood. It took him 2 months to make and he followed the correct procedure for handling the Koran whilst making it.(Benedictus,2007) Khan stopped practicing Islam, yet still wanted to share the beauty behind his religion. As he states “I see it as a very personal piece. I know that if it's personal, [...] perhaps you should keep it to yourself, but I wanted the world to see that it has some sort of beauty”.(Benedictus,2007) Similarly, I am not religious but hold Islam with high regard and want to share the beauty behind what I believe in. Despite the controversy I feel that the series project has allowed me to re-visit in depth what I have been brought up in, enabling me to see the beauty behind the spiritual side of my religion.

In terms of production, composition was important. The copy project was slightly challenging due to model posture whilst inserting the film into the medium format camera. For my copy project I used two soft boxes to shoot. This allowed me to get different shades on either side of the model. Colour also affected my copy project. The difference in skin tone between my model and Joy Gregory’s complicated the process of finding the right sepia tone. This partially affected the overall appearance and resulted in my work appearing to be slightly over edited. Although this is proven to be a limitation of my work, it has also mirrored my work with Gregory’s, which is an achievement.

Colour balance was difficult in the printing process due to multi-coloured pages in my “series”. I took advantage of this challenge by using the colours to add meaning by associating colour with the different teachings. For example, one of my images, contains the meaning “(There is absolutely no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and Mohamed (saws) is the Messenger of Allah.)”(Islamhelpline) this is written gold on green, implying that they are interdependent. This emphasizes my choice to link meaning with colour as it supports the importance of colour in the Quran. Composition in my series project varied, the zoomed and slanted images appear to be more effective. Each decision made in terms of effects, angles, and other elements, was made in an attempt to link the decision with a meaning from the Quran. Natural lighting for my series project allows the viewer to see the beauty behind the Quran in its most original form. In some of my images, I intentionally left elements out of focus and left scratches and smudges to add a general vintage theme. This decision was based on my religion being upheld for over thousands of years, thus these effects add to the beauty of age surrounding the Quran at this time of age.

In conclusion both projects have allowed me to express my individuality. My strongest point is shown in the “copy project”, through the composition and resemblance of the model. The results of my copy project show I have carefully thought about the body posture and composition of the model. The clear strength in my opinion would be the link between the two projects. If I was given more time for the series project I would have used double exposure and combined images of Muslim women with the images of the Quran, this would give more of an abstract element to my work and allow the viewer to observe deeper between the lines and meaning behind my work.

Bibliography

Benedictus, Leo. "My Best Shot: Idris Khan". the Guardian. N.p., 2007. Web. 2 Aug. 2007.

Gregory, Joy. Objects Of Beauty. London: Autograph, The Association of Black Photographers, 2004. Print.

"Meaning Of La Ilaha Illallah Muhammadur Rasulullah - Encyclopedia Of Searchable Islamic Q & A - Islamhelpline". Islamhelpline.net. N.p., 2016. Web. 2 Apr. 2016.

Ravenal, John B. Outer & Inner Space. Richmond: Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, 2002. Print.

Tom, Wyke. "ISIS News - Latest Updates And Videos On The Islamic State | Daily Mail Online". Mail Online. N.p., 2016. Web. 2 Apr. 2016.

 Identity can be illustrated in different ways. I have chosen to express my identity through the use of photography as it has allowed me to demonstrate my identity and express what I hold with high regard and respect; my religion. The concept of identity was developed through the inspiration of Joy Gregory’s “Autoportrait” selection of images. Gregory’s work reveals her surroundings as a teenager and her experiences as a black woman who saw the lack of black coverage in British fashion and beauty in the media. Gregory stated that “living outside the city, I did not have access to black beauty magazines from the united states/the only black beauty images I saw were bad newspaper photos, or drawings pf women wearing wigs, in the small ads of my parents “Jamaica paper”. (Gregory,Page 12 ,2004) One could argue that each image shown in her “Autoportraits” is emphasizing and re-enforcing the fact that black women are not being recognized within the media, therefore implying that her photography was a way of raising awareness of this issue. Moreover, not only does Gregory’s work represent her views but it also validates her individuality, by showing her facial features as a black woman who is proud to be photographed. Her series of images inspired me to do the same, thus I decided to use her work as a springboard for my copy project by choosing an image from the series and responding to it for my “copy” project.

 One reason why I chose Gregory’s work was her ability to display the misconception of the black beauty in the media and utilize her photography to comprehend this misconception; this inspired me to do the same for my series project. This decision was mostly supported by my disappointment in how Islam is conceived by the public as most news reports containing the word “Islam” or “Muslim” are usually followed by the words “ISIS” or “attack”. For example, mail online have posted multiple headlines about ISIS related columns such as … “Bodies of 42 men, women and children butchered by ISIS are found in mass grave at Palmyra AS Syrian troops take control of ancient site”(Wyke,2016). I used Gregory’s work as a stepping stone to show my viewer the true beauty behind my identity, my religion. The reason which I have chosen to do this is because of current events which have taken place. The current Islamophobia caused by misunderstanding of the Islamic religion has meant that my identity is hard to express, yet I have chosen to choose such a controversial topic as the beauty of Islam, is yet to be supported in photography.  

 My inspiration was driven further by two other photographers, Shirin Neshat and Idris khan. Both photographers have also utilised photography as a source of expressing their individuality and views. Shirin Neshat shows this by examining the complexities of women’s identities in the midst of a changing cultural landscape in the Middle East—both through the lens of Western representations of Muslim women, and through the more intimate subject of personal and religious conviction. (Young) Neshat’s work illustrates her life in a single entity; it depicts what she had a to grow up with as an Iranian girl during the Islamic revolution. The way that the dictatorship in Iran was developing and was strict towards women’s rights “I had never been in a country that was so ideologically based” (Ravenal, Page 52,2002) Neshat explains how Iranian ideology during the revolution was belittling women’s identity. This is clearly shown in one of her images “with the complex ideas of the “gaze” in mind, we might reflect on the double meaning of the word “shoot,” and consider that the camera—especially during the colonial era—was used to violate women’s bodies. The gun, aside from its obvious references to control, also represents religious martyrdom, a subject about which the artist feels ambivalently, as an outsider to Iranian revolutionary culture.” (Young) Her identity is clearly presented through the Islamic clothing in which she wears and the use of Persian calligraphy which describes her views to the strict dictatorship she experienced growing up in Iran. Both Neshat and Gregory use photography to show how women are being treated badly in different ways, Gregory’s work shows the role of black women in the media in contrast to Neshat’s work which presents the role of Muslim women in Iran during the Islamic revolution. The way in which identity played a big role in their work inspired me to do the same and express my identity which I consider to be my religion.

Idris khan inspired me especially for my “series” project.  Khan grew up as a Muslim and apparently he made this work to reflect the importance that the Koran had in his childhood. It took him 2 months to make and he followed the correct procedure for handling the Koran whilst making it -.his work show a blurred vision of the quraan .(Benedictus,2007) The use of black and white photography allows one to focus on the focal point of his work which is the Arabic writing displayed within the Quraan, which holds the meaning and beauty behind his religion and identity. The selection of images which Khan presented in his work inspired me to do the same for my series project, however I chose to present my images in colour. I felt that the use of colour emphasized the detail of the Islamic faith, and thus emphasized my intentions further. Despite the fact that he stopped practicing Islam at the age of 14, Khan still wanted to show the public the beauty behind his religion. As he states “I see it as a very personal piece. I know that if it's personal, then in some way perhaps you should keep it to yourself, but I wanted the world to see that it has some sort of beauty”(Benedictus,2007) I feel that I could empathise with him as I am not religious, however I still hold Islam with high regard and want to show people the beauty behind what I believe in and see; even though some may disagree as they have a different perception to Islam. Despite the controversy I feel that the series project and photography in general has allowed me to re-enforce and re-visit in depth what I have been brought up in and believe in, and has helped me to see the beauty behind the spiritual side of my religion.

In terms of production, for both the copy and series project, composition played a big role for me. The copy project was slightly challenging as I had to ensure that my model was positioned in the right angle while inserting the film into the medium format and just before shooting the final image. However, through our good communication skills I was able to communicate with my model quickly and effectively while the shooting took place. I feel that this was reflected in my results as the composition in both Gregory’s work and my image are very similar. Moreover, the composition in my series project varied, but the images which were zoomed in on a slant appeared to be more effective. This is mostly due to the fact that I experimented with the focus and decided to present elements of the interior of the Quran more focused than others, varying on which details I viewed as most important in the image. For example, in one image I slanted the image in order to capture both interior and exterior parts of the Quran, whilst focusing most on the exterior in order to capture the front cover which represented the beginning of the journey, with the interior representing important messages as a reminder of why we [Muslims] follow the teachings of the Quran. My decision to use such an effect is most effective as it allows for many messages and meanings to be captured in one, which is an important element of photography as it maximises while minimising.

 For my copy project I used two soft boxes to shoot. One on both sides of the model, this allowed me to get different shades on either side of the models face. Even though I struggled at first to get the right lighting setting for my shoot, I slowly understood the concept behind the settings with practise and with help of the light meter. Furthermore, I chose to use natural lighting for my series project as I wanted the viewer to see what I was seeing from my perspective, with no edits or additional lighting. I wanted my selection of images to be natural, thus showing the viewer the high degree of beauty behind the Quran in its most original form. The decision to use natural lighting also emphasises the purity of the lighting and thus the purity of the Quran, which is also a teaching of the Islamic faith – purity is vital for a pure life, pure conscious and pure stairwell to Allah. Each decision made in terms of effects, angles, and other elements, was made in an attempt to link the decision with a meaning from the Quran in order to emphasise my decisions even more.

 Alongside the role of composition, colour also played a big role behind my copy project. This was due to the difference in skin tone between my model and Joy Gregory’s. When editing my image on Photoshop I struggled to get the right sepia tone as my model was darker, therefore, I had to increase brightness of the image. However, this partially affected the overall appearance and resulted in my work appearing to be slightly over edited. Although this is proven to be a limitation of my work, it is also proven to make my work most similar to Gregory’s, which I consider an achievement. Through the use of the combination of different editing tools such as colour levels, contrast, hue/saturation, I was able to balance out the colour tone to be similar to Joy Gregory’s image. Similarly, on my series project, colour tone played a big role in the process of printing my images as it was challenging to balance the colour tones due to the pages of the Quran being multi-coloured. However, I took advantage of this challenge by using the colours to my own advantage and adding meaning by associating colour with the different teachings. Thus, highlighting the teachings and different colour tones. For example, one of my images, contains the meaning “(There is absolutely no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and Mohamed (saws) is the Messenger of Allah.)”(Islamhelpline) this is written gold on green, implying that the gold can not be seen without the green, and the green is meaningless without the gold. This emphasizes my choice to link meaning with colour as it supports the importance of colour in the Quran.

In conclusion I have enjoyed working on the copy and the series project as it has allowed me to express my individuality. My strongest point is clearly shown in the “copy project”, this is displayed through the composition and resemblance of the model. The result of my copy project have show that I have carefully thought about the body posture and composition of the model, thus creating a similar image to Joy Gregory’s. However, my weakest point of the copy project would be the use of colour tone, one may argue that the overall colour tone is hard to mirror due to the fact that Gregory and my model have different skin tones, hence effecting the match of sepia tone between the two images. Furthermore, I feel that the overall colour tone of the image effected my final result of copying Joy Gregory’s “Autoportrait” image. Alongside the copy, I also had some strengths and weak elements in terms of the results I received from my series project. The clear strength in my opinion would be the link between the two projects.

The general flow between the two allows one to see that expressing my identity through my photography is very important to me, especially if it is being misinterpreted in the wrong way by the media. In some of my images, I intentionally left elements of my series images out of focus and left scratches and smudges to add a general vintage theme. This decision was based on my religion being upheld for over thousands of years, thus these effects add to do the beauty of age and vintage theme surrounding the Quran at this time of age. In addition, if I was given more time for the series project I would have used double exposure and combined images of Muslim women with the images of the Quran, this would give more of an abstract element to my work and allow the viewer to observe deeper between the lines and meaning behind my work. This would also have added a new definition to the meaning of my work by adding focus on how interpretations of the Quran are portrayed in reality in ways other than those depicted in the media.

 Bibliography

Benedictus, Leo. "My Best Shot: Idris Khan". the Guardian. N.p., 2007. Web. 2 Aug. 2007.

Gregory, Joy. Objects Of Beauty. London: Autograph, The Association of Black Photographers, 2004. Print.

"Meaning Of La Ilaha Illallah Muhammadur Rasulullah - Encyclopedia Of Searchable Islamic Q & A - Islamhelpline". Islamhelpline.net. N.p., 2016. Web. 2 Apr. 2016.

Ravenal, John B. Outer & Inner Space. Richmond: Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, 2002. Print.

Tom, Wyke. "ISIS News - Latest Updates And Videos On The Islamic State | Daily Mail Online". Mail Online. N.p., 2016. Web. 2 Apr. 2016.