When I was small
around 7 years old maybe I used to lie in bed and imagine objectively horrible things to fall asleep to for comfort.
I remember vividly how I wished for a fire to burn our house down. Then and there. I would manage to escape the flames and for whatever reason have to be separated from my parents. My child brain didn't think about my parents or siblings potentially dying in the flames it just wanted to go away, leave, be elsewhere.
Other times I imagined the big evil villain of my favourite show to break through the window and abduct me and to put me through whatever he'd do to the hero and his friends every episode. It didn't seem so horrible to me really. I would be confined in some way, but ultimately have a chance to sleep peacefully. The villain didn't scare me at all. He was so strong and I felt I could trust him.
Just what does this say about my childhood.
