#conflict2

“Misconception” (Soufena Hamed)

With over seven billion people on the planet, it is virtually impossible for every single person to get along. We are all different individuals with our own experiences and beliefs, and sometimes, those beliefs can clash with someone else’s. Understanding how conflict occurs is vital to understanding the different values and ways of communication of people from different cultures, and shows why people misunderstand each other. Conflict is not only about simple disagreements between people. Conflicts among groups are often complex and intricate; many are rooted in generational differences, deep historical influences, or political, religious, and cultural dimensions. 

I believe people from different cultures misunderstand each other because many don’t know how to deal with a different a culture. So come from a culture where things are different like saying hello to everyone, saying thank you, getting someone coffee on their morning, jog, etc. For example there is a short letter about an American that traveled to the Dominican Republic to live there and he talked about their culture was different from his own.

The American would go jogging every morning and every morning he wanted to be left alone, but since he was from a different culture the people of there didn’t understand it. They continued to greet the man whenever they saw him run, they would send their children to run with him, and they would invite him into his home. 

The American man didn’t want to be rude, but he didn’t know how to tell the Dominican people that he just wanted to be alone. The conflict that the American man is going through is an example of restraint approach in the textbook Intercultural Communication 7th edition, by Judith N. Martin, and Thomas K. Nakayama. On page 451-452 in the paragraph discussing the Intercultural Conflict Style, both authors talk restraint approach where one tends to hide his or her feeling when dealing with a conflict. The same could be said for this American man when dealing with the people of the Dominican Republic. He didn’t know to speak to them and decided to hide his feelings on what the matter.

Throughout history, man has created problems for himself, and a lot of these problems have often come from relationships with other men. People tend to discriminate one another, and because of this tempting inclination to separate and divide, long lasting conflicts tend to exist in the world.

 One example of one these conflicts that manifested in the world at a time was the attack on Prabhjot Singh, an American Sikh professor and doctor at Columbia University, in Harlem, New York when a group of young men on their bikes began to beat him because of the way he dressed in his religious attire, calling him a ‘terrorist’. Without a doubt, when one reads about this story one can only see the magnitude of stereotype and prejudice that is involved in this incident, and for it to happen in Harlem, New York should bring light to the reality that these things happen right in front us.

Why do people from different cultures misunderstand each other? 

          As I’ve mentioned before, stereotyping is one of the main reasons why people from other cultures misunderstand each other. We are all human beings and judging is a part of human nature. It’s almost impossible to meet someone and not automatically have an assumption about them. Whether it’s a positive assumption or a negative assumption, it’s still an idea about someone. Each culture has it’s own way of communicating with each other, greeting each other, treating each other, and etc. It’s hard being and outsider looking into a culture that you are not accustomed to, or know little about. Most misunderstandings come with conflict and conflicts cause misunderstandings. For instance, in the story, “Jogging Alone” an American goes to The Dominican Republic for a volunteering Peace Corps. The American soon discovers a conflict that is viewed as normal in America. Back in America, the American had a daily morning routine of jogging alone. No distractions, just them and the peaceful sight of the sun rising. They soon realized that jogging alone in The Dominican Republic was viewed as quite strange and unusual. The Dominicans would offer their hospitality to the jogger as they ran by themselves, and soon began to send their children to keep the jogger company. The American simply could not grasp on to the Dominicans culture of friendliness and hospitality, because they were not use to that interaction in America. It was relevant that the American did not know much about the Dominican culture, hence why there were misunderstandings.   “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman.  

          Cultural misunderstandings also come from conflicts from the past. Such as in the NPR news report, “Ghosts Of The Past Still Echo In Beirut’s Fragmented Neighborhoods.” Beirut is one of the largest cities in the county Lebanon. The city of Beirut is divided into mostly Muslims to the West and Christians predominantly to the East. since there was a civil war in this city in 1975, the city grew to be more heterogeneous. The memories of the war made it hard for the Christian Lebanese and the Palestinians to interact with each other, let alone live close by. This misunderstanding comes from both parties and their stubborn ways of not getting to know the other side, simply because of past interactions. But the question that we must ask is; Is open conflict good or bad? In Beirut's case, open conflict is needed. When having an open conflict it allows each party to put their input in on the situation. It’s clear that an open conflict is needed for the tension to simmer between the East and the West. The “Intercultural Communications” book states, “Conflict is often exacerbated because of the unwillingness of partners to recognize  management style differences” (Martin 464.)

Question: Why do people from different culture’s misunderstand each other?

I feel as though people from different culture’s misunderstand each other because of only knowing a certain way of life.  In the “Tales from Arab Detroit” video it is clear that there is a type of discrepancy in the way of life they live.  Because some of there values such as speaking a different language or the way  they worship is different to the mainstream American culture they can be discriminated against or ostracized.  For example, after the 9/11 attacks people would stereotype people if they had a darker skin tone.  The one lady from the video had her wedding but some of her family could not come because they were stereotyping people who looked as though they were muslim or Arab at airports in the United States.  What people did not realize then was that the horrible perpetrators of 9/11 did not represent a whole community of people and were not associated with peaceful Arab and muslim communities in the United States.  Americans had built in bias that went off assumption instead of fact.  They used the emotionally expressive approach which is a view for the best way to deal with conflict is to express one’s emotions.  That is where I think people were wrong because they were lashing out at the wrong people.  The folks from the Arab Detroit video are Americans.  So what the issue was, is that there was a perception that was wrong which lead people to  discriminate against them and just a general bias that some Americans had.  That is where the misunderstanding was and in time it has been corrected to an extent but the bias is still there in some cases.  

“Chapter 11.” Intercultural Communication in Contexts: , by Judith N. Martin and Thomas K. Nakayama, 7th ed., McGraw-Hill Education , 2018, pp. 452.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2J4N3iMcgog

Cultural Misunderstandings and “Jogging Alone”

Cultural misunderstandings may occur in your daily life, but there are ways to minimize these occurrences. According to “Psychology Today,” “A cultural misunderstanding occurs when something—a word, gesture, object, social context has different meanings in two cultures.” When people from different cultures communicate, their conversation could result in either a productive conversation or escalate into a dispute. On an even larger level, these cultural misunderstandings could lead to war. According to an article written by Alison Rhoades, “Globalization has led to an upswing in cross-cultural working collaborations, be it between business clients or work colleagues.” Businesses collaborate with countries of different countries, and for a successful partnership, communication is key. Distinguishing something as simple as the appropriate greeting is a great first step towards success on both ends. Along with businesses, different governments have cultural misunderstandings. Overall, cultural misunderstandings have happened throughout history, but reconciliations can and are occurring through the respect and empathy from both cultures. The article “Jogging Alone” properly exemplifies how cultural misunderstandings happen and how to effectively communicate.

Resolving a Cross-Cultural Misunderstanding

In “Jogging Alone,” a Peace Corps volunteer told the story of how they started jogging alone, but soon the village people began to jog with them, offer food and initiated conversations. In this scenario, the American is accustomed to different social norms, so they viewed exercising alone as “normal.” They did not want to offend the Dominican people also. According to Hofstede: Dimensionalizing Cultures: The Hofstede Model in Context, “Indulgence stands for a society that allows relatively free gratification of basic and natural human desires related to enjoying life and having fun.” The American is used to different activities of indulgence compared to the Dominicans. The cultures have opposing ways of indulgence and customs. 

For the American, exercising alone was the American cultural norm they assumed would be normal in the Dominican Republic. According to Hofstede: Dimensionalizing Cultures: The Hofstede Model in Context, “Culture has been defined in many ways; this author’s shorthand definition is: "Culture is the collective programming of the mind that distinguishes the members of one group or category of people from others".” One way the American could show respect would be by accepting their offer of coffee and chatting with them, but they should make it clear that they would prefer to jog alone. To resolve this misunderstanding they must speak in a respectful and clear way. In chapter 11 of Intercultural Communication in Contexts, communication is mentioned to be a component in resolving a conflict between cultures. Even though the American and Dominicans are not in a conflict, their cultural perspectives clash. 

On the other hand, the Dominicans’ wanted to welcome the American, and they viewed the American’s custom as unusual. “Collectivism, as a societal, not an individual characteristic, is the degree to which people in a society are integrated into groups.” (Geert Hofstede, pg.11). The Dominicans seem to have more values much like other collective societies. In the Dominican Republic, it is a custom to exercise with other people and welcome others with coffee or a chat. Their social norms lead them to believe the American was acting in an unusual manner. To resolve this misunderstanding, the Dominicans could continue offering coffee and chats, but they could do it in a respectful way by asking if the American if they are comfortable or not. 

To sum up, respect and knowledge of one’s culture can lead to productive conversations and prevent cultural misunderstandings in the future. According to Peace Corps, “Finding a balance between your own cultural norms and those of the culture you are trying to adapt to is very important when it comes to integrating into a new community and feeling comfortable when things are different than what you are accustomed to.“ Resolutions in cross-cultural misunderstandings can occur, but both sides must be willing to communicate.

“Chapter 11.” Intercultural Communication in Contexts, by Judith N. Martin and Thomas K. Nakayama, 7th edition, McGraw-Hill, 2018, pg. 440–474.

https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=&httpsredir=1&article=1014&context=orpc

https://medium.com/waat-ltd/how-to-avoid-the-cultural-misunderstandings-that-can-impact-your-business-c4a70941c65a 

https://www.peacecorps.gov/educators/resources/running-across-cultures/