Shaky Versus Solid Wording
Who’s more credible and persuasive: someone who appears uncertain or a person who exudes confidence?
Many complex factors determine whether or not a communication convinces and moves an audience. We’ve all heard various people deliver essentially the same message yet leave completely different impressions based upon tone, posture and vocabulary. When analyzing effective versus ineffective communications, we realize that in addition to some obvious elements, seemingly subtle words here and there impact what listeners and readers perceive overall.
When striving to inform and influence others, consider how the following statements become more powerful by rephrasing them to exclude certain words:
1) If, Will
Shaky: If you will enroll in our loyalty program, we will provide valuable coupons and offers.
Solid: Enroll in our loyalty program to receive valuable coupons and offers.
2) Believe, Think
Shaky: We think you should choose the concrete floor, which we believe complements your industrial design scheme better than the brick.
Solid: We recommend the concrete floor, which complements your industrial design scheme better than the brick.
 3) Help, CanÂ
Shaky: By evaluating our students three months after they receive a driver’s license, we provide feedback that can help correct problems before they become bad habits.
Solid: By evaluating our students three months after they receive a driver’s license, we provide feedback to correct problems before they become bad habits.
 4) Try, HopeÂ
Shaky: We always try to please our customers with unique merchandise and hope they have an enjoyable experience in our store.
Solid: We always look forward to pleasing our customers with unique merchandise and creating an enjoyable experience in our store.
 5) Want, Wish
Shaky: We want to break ground on the new clinic and wish to raise $1million by July 1.
Solid: We aim to raise $1million by July 1 in order to break ground on the new clinic.
6) Really, Very
Shaky: Dr. Smith designed a very effective program for people who are really serious about losing weight.
Solid: Dr. Smith designed an effective program for people who are serious about losing weight.
 Tips for Noting and Eliminating Shaky Vocabulary:
1)Â Â Create a handy checklist of shaky words to avoid. Make a habit of searching for them in your written documents and appropriately edit out each one before publishing.
2)Â Â Practice your presentation for an attentive person who gives you a cue each time you use a shaky word or express yourself in an uncertain manner.
 Shaky: If you wish to convey a level of confidence that convinces your followers, I really think my examples and tips will help you, and very much hope you’ll try to eliminate those shaky words—if you can!
Solid: Convey a level of confidence that convinces your followers by using my examples and tips to eliminate those shaky words!
 My best to you,
Sallie Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady
