I want to cosplay as Chikyuki from Death Parade but I'm nervous because it's a revealing outfit. I don't mind showing my stomach but I'm more nervous of potential sexual harassment/violence. I'm going to go with a friend, but do you have any other tips on saying safe at a con and avoiding harassment?
Con harassment can be an issue, so itâs good to think about it ahead of time. though, you shouldnât go about your con afraid of harassment the entire time, since the vast majority of con-goers are wonderful. Itâs still best to be prepared for those few who arenât, though. (And god knows Iâve had my shared of con creeps!)
Hereâs a couple links that give some good ideas and advice. Also, to the google!
Sticking with friends is a good thing. Not only will this discourage bad behavior (since you wonât be an easy target), itâll give you an extra set of eyes and ears to both watch out for creepers (people who might try to take inappropriate photos, etc.) and as a witness if, heaven forbid, something did actually happen. Also, I know that âcreepy photographerâ is a stereotype, but Iâve personally had more creepy experiences with random attendees in street clothes with cell phone cameras than I have with people who would call themselves photographers. If a photo situation makes you uncomfortable in any way, though, end it.
Donât be afraid to be vocal with people. I would say that most con creepers are of what I call the âobliviousâ type, which is where they get caught up in the moment or otherwise donât realize that what they are doing is making you or could potentially make you uncomfortable. In these cases, itâs best to simply and clearly state your problem, and most of the time, theyâll stop. When you run into those few âmaliciousâ type creepers, who are actively trying to get away with something, this will also help because theyâll know that you arenât an easy victim. (And, unfortunately, if you ask them to stop something and they continue, itâll give you something better to tell security when you report it, since people are less likely to believe reports where the victim didnât fight back in some way.)
If something happens, try to get as much information about the person as you can and tell security. This really only works for sustained harassment or harassment in close quarters and not for someone who yells an inappropriate comment or attempts to touch you and then disappears back into a crowd, but security is there for a reason, and hopefully takes reports seriously (as security should!). Some cons have a hotline you can call or text, and some are starting to put the number on the backs of their badges.
Donât be afraid to tell people âno.â Uncomfortable with someone taking your picture, or taking your picture in a particular way? Tell them no. Uncomfortable with people putting their hands on you in photos? Donât take pictures with people. (I have a few costumes where Iâve learned to only let people take pictures of me, not with me, because they tend to be creeper and groping magnets.) Some people will get upset. I had someone get upset at me at my last con because I told him I wouldnât let him take a picture of my butt. Donât let that bother you, as long as they donât get violent (which they very likely wonât), but thatâs also what safety in numbers is for.
If you need to get out of a situation quickly, find any excuse to do so. Make up a phone call. Say you need to meet a friend. Simply walk away. Start talking to a stranger as if you were old friends and quietly mention to situation to them.
On that note, most people are cons are more than willing to help you out if you run into trouble and security isnât nearby. If you run into trouble (say, people trying to take sneak pictures of your butt), donât hesitate to ask someone nearby for help (and theyâll likely gladly watch for peopleâs camera angles while you are posing for other pictures, for example).
Be aware of your surroundings. Walk with your head up high, and donât look distracted. Iâve only had three notable instances of harassment while walking (and I have a pretty intimidating walk), though two of those are easily the two worst experiences Iâve had. In my experience, most creeping happens on a more person-to-person level, but it never hurts to walk with confidence and make yourself seem like less of a target.
Really, being with a friend and setting clear boundaries with people will take care of the majority of your harassment problems, if you have any. As I said, harassment happens and is a big problem, but cons arenât creep fests where only terrible things happen, and plenty of good things happen as well. Be prepared for the worst, but expect the best. Youâll have a great time. I really donât want this post to make cons sound worse than they are, since 95% of people there are perfectly lovely and respectful (and another 4% would be if you spoke up that something they are doing is making you uncomfortable, since they probably just donât realize it). Itâs unlikely that anything will happen, and even less likely that anything serious will happen. (Iâve been going to cons for over a decade, and tend to wear revealing cosplay, and only have a handful of sketchy experiences, and have had very few serious problems.)
Have fun at the con! Be safe out there, and youâll have a lot of fun, Iâm sure. :]
