STARTING A NEW series from my life (sry that i repost it here when this is a sonic comunity if anybody dares i can stop)
✨🧠 Dumb Tech Tales: Vol. 1
“Ctrl+What Now?” and Other Crimes Against Computers
👤 Starring: My brother, my friend, and me — the only one with more patience than RAM.
🧠 Tech Level:
Me: “I’ve optimized my browser-based OS to run a fake BIOS inside a toaster.”
Them: “Did they delete the entire internet or something??”
📖 Tale #1: The Sacred Ctrl+Shift+Esc Misunderstanding
Me: “Hey bro, open Task Manager. Press Ctrl + Shift + Esc.” Him: Presses Ctrl, then Shift, then... LITERALLY THE + KEY.
I edit a whole video tutorial. I spend 5 minutes straight saying “DON’T PRESS + LITERALLY.” I Dora-explained it. I put warning signs. I yelled in Comic Sans. He still pressed it.
🧍♂️ He didn’t open Task Manager. 📐 He opened Calculator. 🧠 He tried to math the problem away.
📖 Tale #2: Internet Explorer Alpha - The End Times
Friend: “Yo did they finally shut off the internet?” Me: “???????” Him: “I’m on Internet Explorer Alpha or somethin’, and it won’t load.” Me: Visibly ages 3 years. Me: “BRO. YOU’RE ON WINDOWS 8. THAT’S IE7. THEY DIDN’T DELETE THE INTERNET. YOU’RE JUST STUPID.”
He thought Microsoft ended the internet like turning off a water pipe. Meanwhile I’m holding the network together with spit and sarcasm.
📖 Tale #3: The Techno-Illiterate Summon Ritual
Friend: “Hey my WiFi doesn’t work.” Me: “Is airplane mode on?” Friend: “What’s that?” I look. It’s on. Has been for 3 weeks. Him: “Oh that’s what that little plane meant?? I thought it was ✈️ flight mode. Like for games.”
SWEAR TO CHAOS.
🔥 Final Thoughts:
I have seen things. Things no tech god should witness. I have rebooted systems. I have rebooted people.
Tune in next time on:
💻 “Dumb Tech Tales Vol. 2: 🧠 Tag your dumbest tech moments below. I need to know I’m not alone.
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