Whose Penis is it Anyway?
The fun thing about committing to a lifestyle of celibacy is all the reflection it brings about. This is my second time around so I’m a slightly under qualified expert. In addition to the positive reflection, the first few months are a series of very intricate flashbacks. I’m talking vivid memories in perfect detail. Good and bad sexperiences. I think when you’re reprogramming your mind and body, your mind naturally produces negative feelings that triggered your desire to change. (I hope that makes sense….) Anyway, one of the perks of discontinuing a casual sex lifestyle is the peace you’ll receive when you realize you’ll the lessen the chances of running into a random hookup….or said hook-ups Girlfriend, Baby Mama etc…. Because if you’re me, this will occur, repeatedly. 🙄 So when it happened last month it put me into deep thought. I thought to myself…. girl, how many more times are you gonna be out enjoying your life and run into a woman you’ve shared a penis with? Community penis….. 😒 And it’s always weird and uncomfortable. Because you all both know you’ve shared one person during such an intimate experience. And it makes you realize that it’s really not intimate at all. It’s not personal, and it definitely doesn’t make you feel special. Becsuse even if it was casual….I still willingly gave apart of my physical self away. And I recognize that can be taxing, mentally and emotionally. Whose penis is it anyway? Everybody’s girl… (That’s how I answered myself when that very obvious question popped into my mind…) I’m not ashamed to say…. I want my own personal-forever penis. That’s the goal right?? It’s mine. Fall in love with my best friend, and lock that shit down for a lifetime. Because those awkward stare offs were never fun anyway…. And it kinda makes you feel gross, and sends your mind into a series of forever unanswered questions. What number was I? Who else knows? How many others? Why girl? Why?! I’m almost 30 days in, and I look forward to avoiding occurrences like this in the future…. cause that shit is wack. Goodnight. ✊
