#communications x reader

“___ ... I love you! Please ... Go out with me?”

Your eyebrows furrowed a little at the boy infront of you as you scrunched your nose in disgust ever so slightly, raising an eyebrow in confusion at his audacity for even asking the question right now.

Kennith Simmons. He's been a good friend of yours ever since highschool... You've both always been the loners among the school, automatically making your bond with one another grow immensely after noticing eachother's isolation and awkward nature. And you might be confused at your current revulsion towards a simple confession coming from the male. Well. It wasn't like you were frustrated with him... But you certainly weren't happy either. The whole scene that was currently playing out just filled you with a massive sense of embarrassment. And perhaps even disappointment?

Why, you may ask?

Because the scene was playing out exactly as it did a few months ago when the roles were reversed. The nervous look on his face, the sweet yet awkward smile plastered on his lips, the many gifts and flowers resting in his sweaty palms, the mere hope in his eyes only for it to be shattered an instant later. It was exactly like yours... The whole scenery was just a direct copy of what happened to you about half a year ago, filling you with complete deja vu. You were always aware of the high risk of falling in love with a close friend... But you couldn't help your foolish self back then.

Bad... Bad mistake.

You still remember his empathetic yet blunt and straightforward statement like a core memory, the first time you've been informed on his romantic preference for men and men only. You're cried yourself to sleep for over twenty times as much as you can remember. Countless of restless nights and stess filled days eating away at your emotional state for God knows how long. And that simple fact messed up your mental health for literal months. And yet... You allowed yourself to let him go. To move on from a crush on somebody you could never have. You improved yourself and you managed to mature in perspective. Time heals a person, is something you learned. And yet, that improvement might be crumbled to bits by his stupid gesture alone. Returning the exact same confession you had given him and behaving as if he didn't reject you.

You just narrowed your eyes a little as you couldn't help but feel slightly weirded out over the entire situation. This wasn't supposed to happen at all and you felt as if he was about to drag you through the mud.

“Kennith... With all due respect, did you get hit on the head and happen to forget about your homosexuality, or...?” you sarcastically spoke with slight snark, this scenario starting to piss you off more than you expected it to. In fact, you would have been on cloud nine if he said this to you about six months ago. But now? You felt as if you were being played with like a fiddle. It was as if you were being deceived for a fool and you weren't having it in the slightest. You managed to move on from your puppy crush on him ... And now he was trying to get you to like him again?

You crossed your arms as he noticeably gulped at your statement. You both knew you were right no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, he confirmed it himself for goodness sake! You just let out a small sigh, trying to cover up the overwhelming confusion you were feeling at the moment. Your eye was twitching a little that to hide the current anger that was starting to fill your veins. Why were you having this ‘heart-to-heart’ chitchat in the first place?

“You’re right. I only like men but... I can't help but feel like I love you” he spoke out without a single hint of shame, making you cringe a little in the process. You just blinked a few times, trying to take in his words and how foolish it all sounded. “Kennith...” you calmly exclaimed. “You like men. I'm a woman.” you bluntly spoke as you raised an eyebrow once more, trying to make him see the ridicule of his own words. Surely this had to click?

Nope.

“___... I love you ...” he spoke out with a blank tone and facial expression, making you take a step back in the process. It sounded as if he was brainwashed of some sorts... The sentence didn't even sound genuine, it reminded you of auto repeat if you were bluntly honest with yourself. You couldn't help but facepalm, muttering out an ‘you're stubborn...’ under your breath before you went back to stare at him with concern in your eyes. It went back and forth like that for a while. You tried to get your point across how unfair this entire situation was to you and how irrational he was behaving. That you didn't even want to like him as a romantic interest anymore for the sake of your own wellbeing, but Kennith didn't seem to take no as an answer. And you would be lying if you said that this argument wasn't getting the worst out of you. It felt like you were arguing with a child. No matter how neatly you tried to word out your thoughts, he wouldn't listen. And the whole situation was starting to take a toll on you too, your emotions all over the place due to this sudden accusation that he liked you like you liked him all this time. Which was a ridiculous thought on its own already. Eventually, you just snapped.

“damn it-! What will it take for you to open your eyes for once in a lifetime-!?” you hissed back as you could feel tears prickling in your eyes. You had made peace with the fact that he would never like you back, but you could feel all of that resentment slowly returning to where it originally was. All that pain from one simple past rejection crashing back down on you like an asteroid would.

You glared daggers at your the boy you once considered a friend. The boy you were once in love with. “... You don't like me at all. You just feel obligated to because you have nobody else...” you silently muttering out to yourself, looking to the side as you wiped your eye that was currently tearing up. “That’s not love. That's manipulation.” you spat as you directly spelled out the truth right infront of his nose. You shook your head as you bit your lip, trying to keep it from quivering and yourself from bawling your eyes out on the spot.

“You’re manipulating yourself too, get a grip.”

You coldly spoke out before turning around, ready to leave this mess of a conversation behind. But Kennith’s brown eyes couldn't help but widen as soon as you seemed determined to take your leave. And something that caught you even further off guard was his his hand having a tight grip on your arm in an instant, bruising your limb in the process and making you yelp out in pain. You tried to rip your arm from his grasp, but he wouldn't budge in the slightest, making you grow paranoid and even more emotional than before. You warned for him to let go, resistance and slight hostility in your once gentle voice. But he just continued to stare, piercing right through your soul with those blank features. You grew hesitant.

But you felt like your heart was about to burst out of your chest as he suddenly pulled you in, wrapping his arms around you in a tight grip as if you were a stress toy, his ‘embrace’ only growing more uncomfortable as time went on. You were just frozen in place, not expecting such a death grip from a fragile boy such as Kennith. He was holding onto you as if he would die if he didn't have you close for a mere second.What happened in those six months when you two grew apart? You couldn't help but shiver slightly as his hands caressed all over your back, seemingly trying to comfort you. But if anything, it only stressed you out even further and you swore you were on the verge of a panic attack. Your blood ran cold as soon as you felt a tiny sting on the side on your arm, getting one last glance of an injection needle and his last words managing to reach your ears.