#commercial script

This Ice Cream shop in Sidmouth, Devon, uses two reliable standards for their sign.

"Ice Cream" is set in Commercial Script. Script fonts are everywhere these days, but Commercial Script has been with us for over 100 years. It dates from 1906 or thereabouts, and was another creation of the great American type designer Morris Fuller Benton. Benton trained as a mechanic and obtained a degree in engineering, but then switched to type design, at first working with his father, who was also more of an engineer than an artist — it was said of him that "he could see with his hands".

Morris Fuller Benton's typefaces include Franklin Gothic, Cloister, Century Schoolbook, Franklin Gothic, News Gothic, Cheltenham Bank Gothic, Souvenir, Broadway, Stymie, and Hobo — many still in use today.

Fade up from black to a very wide shot of the outside of a grocery store. It is a tan brick building with a green sign on top with “Typical Mart” written in white. The Coffee Guy walks through the automatic glass doors with a metal shopping cart.

Cut to:

Wide shot of the inside of the store and The Coffee Guy walking into the store. The Coffee Guy has short brown hair, wears a white shirt and a red bow tie. Off to the right side of the screen is Employee at a cash register. Employee is wearing a green apron with a name tag.

Cut to:

Cutaway shot of Employee’s face eying The Coffee Guy suspiciously.

Cut to:

Wide shot of The Coffee Guy walking down an aisle empty of people but the shelves are full of assorted drinks. He is looking for something; he stops halfway down the aisle and with an excited expression, stops.

Cut to:

Medium shot of the shelf full of green boxes of “Tea Brand” tea. Two hands move into the shot and begin emptying out the shelf.

Cut to:

Medium shot of The Coffee Guy’s face. He looks around cautiously as he is emptying the shelf.

Cut to:

Medium shot of the boxes of “Tea Brand” tea filling the cart. A clear liquid is being poured on them. Then the sound of a match is heard off camera before a lit match is dropped into the cart. The boxes burst into flames.

Cut to:

A wide shot of the cart in flames. The Coffee Guy stands behind it with a large toothy smile on his face. A fire alarm goes off within the store. Employee runs over to the cart of flaming boxes, in a panic.

Employee: What the hell are you doing?

Cut to:

Over-the-shoulder shot of The Coffee Guy who continues to wear a giant smile on his face.

The Coffee Guy: [with excitement] Did you know “Tea Brand” tea supports terrorism!

Cut to:

10. Over-the-shoulder shot of Employee. His face changes panicked to angry.

Employee: [flatly] What?

Cut to:

11. Medium shot of The Coffee Guy who is still wearing a giant smile on his face.

The Coffee Guy: [with excitement] That’s right! “Tea Brand” tea is a major benefactor of Al Qaida.

Cut to:

12. Over-the-shoulder shot of Employee.

Employee: You’re that stupid coffee guy aren’t you?

            Cut to:

13. Over-the-shoulder shot of The Coffee Guy.

The Coffee Guy: [with excitement] Yes! I’m The Coffee Guy, here to spread the evils of “Coffee Brand” coffee’s competitor “Tea Brand!”

Cut to:

14. Over-the-shoulder shot of Employee. The sprinkler system turns on.

Employee: [flatly] Get out of my store.

Cut to:

15. Over-the-shoulder shot of The Coffee Guy.

The Coffee Guy: [with excitement] Okay, you Terrorist!

Cut to:

16. Over-the-shoulder shot of Employee who is now dripping wet and very angry

Employee: [yelling] Get out!

            Cut to:

17. White screen with a red canister of “Coffee Brand” coffee and a red cup of steaming black coffee.  The words “’Coffee Brand’ Coffee” appear in black letters on the top of the screen

Voice Over: Coffee Brand coffee, because tea is for terrorists.

A disclaimer appears in small print at the bottom of the screen that reads exactly what the voice over says:

  VO: [Very Fast] This message brought to you by the “Coffee Brand Coffee Company.” The “Tea Brand Tea Company” may not actually support terrorism… But saying they do is good enough for Homeland Security!