#comedy problems

I’ve been working for two years as the chair of the Comedy Committee at the UofA. It’s an amazing opportunity. I’ve made some really cool things happen, grown a lot as a person, and met some amazing people (John Mulaney bought me dinner once, Donald Glover told me I was funny and freestyled about how I could be a Disney Princess, and Nick Thune talked about the movie “Food Inc.” for almost the entire drive from the airport. **~HuMbLe BrAgGiNg 2011~**). Needless to go into more detail, I think it’s obvious at this point that I love my job.

This spring, I’m graduating, heading out into the Actual Adult Stop-Eating-Lucky-Charms-Without-Milk-Oh-Wait-I'm-The-Only-One-Who-Does-That-Alright-Then World.

About a week ago, I got a call from a comedy agent that I’ve created a sort-of-kind-of-friendship with. He asked me about how life was going and I was honest, blurting out something about finishing things for my Senior Progress Review. So, he asks me what I’m doing after college, I talk about how I’m considering pursuing comedy further, and then he tells me that I should send him my resume whenever I’m ready and he’ll get me some interviews around town.

Like, his town. New York City. Interviews around New York. And I know this should have made me ecstatic (Hooray for networking!), and don’t get me wrong, it did, it totally did, but it was also the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been offered in my life.

What if I become one of those girls who get stuck behind the scenes and it turns out she wants to be the one in the action? I’ve never been an Ad/PR girl, I’m a comedy girl! What if I turn into one of those industry hacks that I can’t stand in the process? What if I do get it and then I can’t actually afford to make it happen in my dream city? I mean, I know my parents are the greatest, most supportive people on the planet, but I’m the oldest of four. They’ve already given me an education, no way am I going to ask for anything more than that. And I know I’m the kind of person who will live in her car if that’s what it takes, but is that what it’s going to take? I mean, I guess I’ve always liked Jewel.

For all of my life, I kind of envisioned myself as the performer. I guess it’s just weird to think that I might end up on the other end of things. Not bad or anything, just weird. All of that to say that I think I finally know how Jessie Spano felt that one time she was addicted to caffeine pills.