As a performance poet, I've had the misfortune of appearing at a lot of crappy venues in the North East of England ( not known for its cultural richness, apart from boozing and following soccer as though it was a religion). However, I've never experienced anything like this...unbelievable!:

SMASH NIGHT at The Angel Microbrewery - Wednesday 30 August. It's the most funnest night of the month @MissImp-Notts

One of the most fun gigs of the monthly calendar. I’m delighted to continue with my role of marshalling the Smash Night Social Club team. The line-up changes every month, as do the two other acts that make up the night. It leaves me happily free to heckle our compere, Liam, and a have a ridiculous amount of fun. We’ve got quite a line-up: our ever-selling-out musical improv team, these Chicken…

Now. As anyone who has ever seen any of Ross Noble's live shows can tell you, the front row is probably a very bad idea if you tend to stand out, or if you are shy.

WELL ISN'T IT LOVELY THAT I DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH WHEN I DECIDED TO BUY SEATS PRETTY DARN WELL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRONT ROW.