#comedy article

Every four years, the world stops to marvel at feats of athletic prowess: people running faster than seems biologically sensible, somersaulting through the air with a grace that suggests an unfortunate deal with gravity, and lifting weights so heavy they could double as mid-sized hatchbacks. But amidst the sweat, the medals, and the national anthems, there lies a glaring oversight: where, pray…

@pointsincase was kind enough to publish this silly thing I wrote about the Middle-West, meat products, theological conundrums, and perhaps murder(?!?). Intrigued? Then (to paraphrase former presidential hopeful and somehow least embarrassing member of the Bush family, Jeb! Bush) please click.

I talk to my friends on the phone rather than through text  When planning trips with my friends, we plan through email and google sheets  I’m more familiar with Windows Excel than I’m willing to admit It takes me weeks to figure out the acronyms the “kids” are using these days I can’t have two drinks at happy hour without feeling nauseous until happy hour the next day (Hair of the dog is becoming…

You don’t Remember Me?

Throughout my life I have managed to put together a group of friends that are absolutely amazing. They are all hilarious, quirky, weird and long story short they’re all actors. There is always something crazy happening, weird voices, dancing and odd encounters with outsiders. So many memories yet so many things that I forget because I am naturally very forgetful. I don’t remember a lot of events…

Read my new Scotcampus article on the 21 times that Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendal, Kylie (god, Kris Jenner really does love alliteration) and the rest of the Kardashian clan summed up all our lives.

“By this point in my life, I have become, not quite comfortable, but accustomed to the sun setting at 2.30 in the afternoon, accompanied with endless days of icy cold rain. So when summer does roll around, I find myself adopting into the persona of the typical pessimistic Scot and complaining that it’s too warm or ‘awfy close’. Don’t get me wrong, I do like summer but there are a few aspects of…

Hello?

....

An unnatural metallic scent clings to the thin air in here, the complete absence of organic life over an extended period of time has contributed to the acrid aroma entering the nasal cavity.  Let me dust off a seat for you.

I admire your perseverance, It's been two weeks since the last article, and that really wasn't an article at all.  What a lapse, where has the time gone?  You deserve better than this, after all this is a internet comedy blog.  Why you could be on buzzfeed right now, looking at endless pictures within vaguely themed articles about the 90's.  Or you could be slogging through an endless string of clickbait articles, but what happens next will leave you a husk of your former self.  

Life happened really quickly.  It was just a couple months ago I was informing you all that I had gotten engaged, signed up for health insurance, and ate donuts for dinner.  I didn't think that life could get any crazier, things were happening!  All of a sudden the opportunity that I had been working towards for about 6 months happened and it happened all at once.  On short notice I was asked to fly out to Utah.  I rearranged my schedule so that I worked for a week straight, flew out to Utah, stayed 2 nights, flew a red-eye back, slept on the floor of JFK international airport, and resumed working upon arrival back in Portland. After another solid week of straight work; while simultaneously getting my office and computer setup sorted out,  I transitioned directly into my new work from home position.  Not to mention immediately starting my home electrical installation class at the same time.  

I'm living and breathing electrical wiring, schematics, speaker installations.  Now when I interact with other human beings I have to avoid drifting into technical jargon with no provocation.  It all comes with a learning curve, but I'm excited, and you're coming along on the journey with me.  I have some sort of an Idea what I'm Doing™

These dogs unfortunately do not. 

Straight chillin'

Mean Muggin'

Pillow Stuffin'

Drink Chuggin'

Uhhhh....

A special shout out to Julia for providing me with all the images for today's article.  Without it, this article would just be words...gross.