#combat pstd

Invisible Wound

The major world problem that interests me is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that is developed in our Veterans over the amount of time during their deployments. PTSD is defined as an anxiety disorder that is caused from trauma or life-threatening events due to combat exposure. It is a wound that the majority of our service men and women come home with. Some get treated and more than half never seek help. For the ones who do not seek help they may try to find ways to cope with it alone. Common examples for people who do not seek help may find themselves using drugs or drinking heavily. Some may also feel depressed with unstable thoughts which can result in suicide.  Suicide rate for Veterans with PTSD according to the Veteran’s Affair records states that in 2014 suicide was 22% higher than the average civilian population. I feel there needs to be more done in order to help our veterans feel at home. There needs to be more/ better resources that help our men and women coming in from overseas that help them succeed in OUR everyday society. People tend forget that veterans, active duty/ reserves have “3 lives” meaning the life before enlisting, while enlisted/ deployed, and their last life, which is adapting to society after service.

PTSD I believe is a silent killer, it creeps up on some people and slowly takes everything away from them. If not treated not only does PTSD destroys the individual, but it will also weaken and at times could possibly destroy marriages, friendships, and most importantly families. Of our Iraq and Afghanistan veterans 1 in 5 will openly admit they have some sort of trauma related stress disorder and reported by the VA in 2017 each day at least 20 suffers from this disorder will take their own life. To prevent these outcomes the two major sources offered by VA clinics are consulting with Psychologist or being prescribed medication to help calm the person. Although this is offered to every person in the armed forces majority do not feel comfortable speaking up. I’ve heard so many Veterans say this topic is so hard for them to speak publicly about because it makes them feel less of a person. It takes them to a specific event that they are trying so hard to forget. They feel as if they speak about it they let people down. It puzzles me of how much pain a topic can bring. It also amazes me how our government expects people coming back to the states from overseas with or without PTSD to cope with everyday life. It’s like once you’re done with your service everyone expects you to get over it and go back to a “normal life”, but how is that possible?

My father was officially diagnosed with PTSD the summer of 2017, by “officially diagnosed” I mean it was written in ink and stamped by the VA office that he does accumulate 80% of his disabilities from PTSD. He stands along the line with the group of people who coped with PTSD silently. Through all of the pain he was one of the lucky ones to gradually make it back into our society. I remember before his 6 tours he was so alive. He found a way to keep everyone around him smiling. He was that person who would give the shirt off his back, the person who would save you no matter the time of day. He was the “macho man” that would carry my family out of storms onto paths of pure sunshine, but tour after tour my family and I would soon find ourselves pulling him out of his own dark path. I remember my childhood being strict and at times a lonely cycle. My father would leave once a year to either Iraq or Afghanistan and his tours ranged from a year in a half to sometimes almost two years. By his 2nd tour when he arrived home he was different and more distant from my family. There were times he did not talk to us at all, I’m not sure if my father knew how much we would suffer silently beside him. Being so young my brothers and I didn’t understand why my father talked less or why at times he showed little to no love towards us.

 I vividly remember every evening we would race up our 5 acres of land fighting to be the first to tell our father about the new things we learned at school, but he never did listen to our excitement he would flash a quick smile and tune us out. As things continued to change within our household we were told to “roll with the punches” so we did, for 13 years. We slowly stopped going to family events and soon enough we stopped spending time as a whole. My father would say he didn’t feel comfortable being in large groups or he was too tired to do the littlest things with us. The only time we were all actually together was when we were in the car. I yearned for those moments; those were the only minutes out of the day that we would feel as if my father was “normal” it was as if everything was perfect. We talked about everything and my father would actually listen and respond we would laugh uncontrollably, but soon enough he would zone out of our conversations and become aware of only his surroundings. If there was trash on the road he would slow down almost to a complete stop and out of nowhere drive fast by it. Small noises startled him so much that he would become paranoid and walk around outside with a gun. He would not sleep at night because he always felt the need to check our rooms or make sure no one was trespassing onto our property. When he could fall asleep he would wake up from a nightmare screaming. He did not have the patience for my family or for the things around him. An orb of anger would always float on-top of him resulting in chaos over the simplest things. He would sit in silence and to us it felt as if our father was left overseas. 

The stranger sitting in our house was just a visitor and maybe if we prayed harder at night God would bring our real dad home. As my brothers and I become older we learned that the stranger in our house was our father, he was just a little lost. We learned on our own of the things that really happen when “dad goes away”. As my father continued to deploy at such a young age we had no choice but to grow up. We learned to do things that kids our age wouldn’t consider doing or even think to worry about. We did everything by ourselves. We took care of each other. As we all grew older my father had no choice but to face what he had been hiding for years. He came out to us about his PTSD. My father then realized that we were not the babies that he left when he first deployed. He could no longer hide the pain from us. We accepted that things might not be what they use to, but that wouldn’t stop us from being the family that we once were. With time we were able to find a way to guide each other into this beautiful family that we all now hold and cherish.

Over the years my father and thousands of others have put their life on the line countless times; standing face to face with death will change the way a person acts. We have to think about being in the boots of these men and women. Imagine leaving off a military post not knowing if you’re going to come back therefore you hold onto yourself and silently pray you make it back. As you stand in the line of fire your skin shines from sweat due to the 110+ heat. Your heart pumps rapidly as you feel the vibrations from your weapon. Your ears ring from the gun fire and you feel the silence of an aftershock from an explosion. As you come to your sense you realize you have less than 30 seconds to make life of death decisions. Being a part of this action can become so traumatic to the human brain that we do not know how to process it at one time. Images are implanted into your memory and it soon becomes impossible to forget.

Dealing with all of this becomes stressful. You may soon find yourself having flashbacks, nightmares, lost of interest in the things you use to love, sleepless nights, forgetfulness, short patience/ temper, and periods of feeling anger/ alone. These are some of the symptoms of PTSD. What next? How do you accept that being in another country and the environment around you took away who you where as a person? Do you tell someone close or do you think if you tell someone they’ll say you’re “crazy”. Majority of our veterans will prefer to keep it to themselves because not only does it make them feel this sense of weakness, but because they know that half of American cannot relate. They will bottle this pain in their heart until their last day if they could. And if you’re wondering, why they do not see a specialist? Well because like my father they insist on prescribing you all sorts of medications at times up to 5+ different pills for daily use. I feel the only way to actually heal PTSD is to talk about it with the ones who stand by supporting you.

My ultimate idea if I had enough money and enough support from other corporations would be to open this type of safe haven for veterans with PTSD and their families. I’m not sure if someone has come up with this idea already, but I would build this type of community that caters only to veterans with PTSD. I would have this community filled with apartments so that my visitors have a place to sleep. I would have these workshops that work side by side with veterans to help them overcome their invisible wound. I would hire psychologist who have had some time in the military so that they would be able to relate to our men in women in my program. I would find an herbalist who could come up with herbs to naturally heal the pain of some people. I would not allow any type of medication be prescribed because I feel medication is not needed all it does is numb a person. 

After evaluation of a person’s PTSD I will have countless groups to let them know that we are here for them. One workshop I would have, that I believe is the most important, is finding a way that would help the person take baby steps into our fast paste society and while teaching them ways to manage what they feel. I know some people think veterans are always angry or foul mouthed with little patience, but in reality it’s because they are so use to doing stuff one way that when they come back to being a civilian they need to have the skills to look at things multiple ways. We have to ease them into this new way of living. I would also like to find a way to work with companies who TRULY hire veterans. 

I would like to ensure that the people coming out of my program have a guaranteed job and not the run-around. My father was one of the many people who got denied jobs because he was “too molded from the military”. I want to make sure the people coming out of my program have a stable job that suits them best. For the families in the program I would like to hold a talk session and group activities for the kids and teenager by age group. I would want them to know I was once in their position and although everything feels different, with time things will get better. I want to educate kids what PTSD is and how they can help their parent. My program wouldn’t just be filled with workshops and talking sessions I would also incorporate fun activities for the children and the whole family. I would ensure that the people coming in know that we are not another VA clinic, we would be there to help in more than one way and if they ever fall off my program would always be arms open to welcome them back! In the end, I would want my program to help veterans cope naturally. I want their stories to be heard. I want them to know since they sacrificed their life for us that I would be there to care not only of them but for their family.

PTSD is an invisible wound that does not show physically, but mentally it will always be there unless you find a source of help. I believe all of our service men and women past and present hold something so special inside of them that all their stories deserve to be heard. We know about deployments and PTSD from outside the box but if you really want to hear a story from someone who deployed or how someone copes with their PTSD I would advise anyone and everyone if they ever get the chance to take the time to hear these stories in person. They are so powerful and are worth hearing. It may be hard for the person to tell it or express how they feel, but at the same time it could be so healing for them just to be able to share their personal story that will one day be forgotten. 

My family has stood by my father through his ups and downs and although it took him years he has found a way to heal. He is happy and content with life. He is retiring from the Army very soon and is deciding to put his Military career in a box. He tells me all the time he doesn’t regret enlisting, the Military has taken care of him when he needed it and he would never regret the lessons it taught him or the people he’s gotten too meet. Closing this part of his life he believes it will push him to open his final chapter, wherever or whenever that may be he is ready. PTSD is an invisible wound that should not take control of your life, there is hope, and I hope for the ones who suffer silently that one day we will be able to hear their stories.

WORKS CITED PAGE:

Gill, Diana Clark. “Words Matter: Telling Your Story an Alternative to Medication for PTSD.” Army Magazine , Dec. 2017, pp. 36–38.

Steele, Emily, et al. “TRR'S Warriors Camp: An Intensive Treatment Program for Combat Trauma in Active Military and Veterans of All Eras.” Military Medicene, vol. 183, 2018, pp. 403–407., doi:10.1093/milmed/usx153.