#colonist

I always play a Male Shepard, Spacer and Sole Survivor.

This time, I'm playing a Female Shepard, Colonist and War Hero.

And the Colonist part............... I have seen many posts over the years from many of you, and I always felt like that background was really sad, but I didn't get HOW SAD until I met Talitha.

Her story is devastating and the wording used to explain it is striking. The voice acting is incredible. Her suffering is felt so deeply.

And the whole time she was talking about her as an animal not getting a name (btw, "Animal don't get names" reminded me a lot of the dehumanization of Jack and her being called Subject Zero), about her "masters" putting metal all over her, her mom and dad telling her to "run" and dying after, I thought... My Shepard is right there and she lived it. She lived the raid. Her friends and family members are dead. And Talitha of course was rescued much later after the read.

Genuinely at this point i was like... It's fine, I'm not crying.

And Talitha asks: Why are you alive? Why are you-- Why aren't you like her? Broken. Only fit to dig and carry.

Shepard replied she was broken for a while, but had to keep going, as she said "pull herself up".

And playing her as I was, she comforted Talitha, gave her the sedative, telling her she won't have a bad dream:

The mission is a matter of de-escalation, and I think it's done very well. Lieutenant Girard is a good man. He and his men could have killed Talitha (as no doubt, others would have done) but he instead called Shepard. He even insisted that Shepard walk away if it doesn't work. He wanted to save Talitha so badly. And it shouldn't be unusual, it should be the norm.

So this is something that I think I have a unique experience with. With most of the relationships in game, you can place yourself in the shoes of either Shepard or the LI depending on gender. But with Garrus and Femshep I'm not here for the fantasy of being involved (although it's quite enjoyable) so much as how well I think it's written and plays out. I'm not inserting myself into Garrus or Shepard's place, the romance just really resonates with me from a storytelling point of view

I play a Colonist/Sole Survivor Shepard, so in ME2 when Garrus is hurt over the lose of his team, she can relate. Shepard lost her whole platoon on Akuze, she had to learn to live with it, and she's able to help Garrus with his own grief this way.

And when Shepard comes back and has so few friendly faces on a ship of strangers, she looks to Garrus for support. Planetside he's her only teammate she can trust initially to watch her back.

On September 7th 1815, explorer John McDouall Stuart was born in Dysart, Fife.

The youngest of nine children of a retired army captain serving as a customs officer, his parents died when he was a teenager, and he was brought up by relatives. He trained to be a civil engineer in Edinburgh before emigrating to Australia in 1838, at the age of 23.

Often referred to as simply “McDouall Stuart” he is regarded as one of Australia’s greatest explorers. He went on seven major exploring trips into the centre and north of Australia.

McDouall Stuart was leader of six of these expeditions. He spent more time out in the Australian bush exploring the land than any other explorer. On each trip, he was able to go further north and found water sources that helped him with his final long journey.

In 1862, he crossed Australia from Adelaide, South Australia, to Van Diemen Gulf in the Northern Territory.

He was also the first European to cross the continent from north to south and then return again.

The route from Port Augusta to Darwin a distance of 1684 miles, the “ Stuart Highway” is named in his honour.

It had been five long years since earning her N7 at Torfan, and she was still paying for it. They had to grant her the designation because she did finish the mission. But they didn’t have to give another inch. She was immediately posted at what was once a regional army training base 200 miles southwest of New Orleans which had at the time been referred to as the “armpit of the Army”, Bex Shepard was tasked to be OPFOR for the Alliance Joint Readiness Training Center. It was hot, humid, buggy, and smelled of swamp water. The old moniker still fit. 

The brass got to spin it as a reward assignment,congratulating her on completing her N7 mission with one hand and punching her in the gut with the other. 

"You'll have the privilege of training the future" They smiled and clapped her on the shoulder at the end of the N7 phase as they patched her in. But she saw it for what it was. She was a tool, a recruiting poster to suck in more recruits. Even though she was widely known as the Butcher of Torfan, it covered their asses. Discharging a fresh N7 would be an even bigger media firestorm than the mission had been.  It repelled as many as it attracted,but they stuck with it to keep her off the line. 

That day, however, she was pulled away from her duty and hauled into the base commander's office. She had put in a request for termination of her contract and release from duty. She intended to find a life away from all of it.  There were raised voices coming from inside, so she took a seat and waited her turn. 

She had been waiting  for a few minutes when the staff duty NCO called Attention. She stood and saluted as required, and waited for the at ease order before she sat back down and returned to the datapad she had been studying, looking for any other legal ways to get out of the Alliance military if her bid failed.

She could sense the officer staring at her, but it was nothing new. He'd probably seen her name tape and recognized her. And by now he had connected the name with the news stories, and was likely questioning if firing squads could be brought back.

"Hell of a business, Torfan. A goatscrew from the word go." The gruff voice said. 

Bex looked up, startled. She took a moment to take in the man before her. Tall, rigid, white hair and steely blue eyes. Deep scar across the right side of his face An admiral by the bars on his blues, Hackett...oh...shit. Shit. Shit. Was this why she was brought here? Surely if Admiral Hackett was going to address the issue personally it would have happened years ago, not now. Not in a waiting room. Right? 

"The official report seems to be lacking your side of the story, Commander. I'd like to hear it if you don't mind." He continued. 

"Yes, Sir,"  Shepard answered, and took a deep breath. 

Torfan 2178

Batarians, hundreds of them. Shepard waged a constant battle with the bile rising in her throat at the sight. Of course she wanted revenge after Mindoir, her parents, her grandparents, everyone they took from her. But this op was ill conceived and in the hands of the wrong people. 

The enemy was dug in, they had a network of tunnels they knew like the back of their hands, they had numbers, and cover and supplies. They had every advantage. Her squad was exhausted, low on ammo, out of water and her biotic amp was overheated when they reached the final tunnel. They needed a rest, they needed resupplied, a drop had been made to Major Kyle and the other officers, but they delayed passing it along because he couldn’t decide if he really should send the supply team in or not, and now it was too late. Kyle was indecisive, incompetent, and weak as a leader and it led to their downfall. 

They had to take this tunnel, or lose their shot, and Bex had to give that order. 

When they breached the door, the batarians were ready for them, opening fire immediately. Bex threw up as many biotic barriers as she could but they were weak and failed. She tried a singularity field to control the enemy long enough to reposition but it sputtered out within seconds as more of her marines fell. 

In that moment, out of sheer desperation she decided if she was going to die with her troops, she was taking every batarian in that tunnel with her. She lobbed a smoke grenade to buy herself the time it took to deactivate the safety protocols of her amp and slam a stim pack down. She mustered as much energy as she could, and charged forward at the enemy. When she was close enough. She channeled every bit of biotic power she could, as her amp sizzled the skin beneath it and her head throbbed from the strain on her implant, and with both hands released a blastwave of energy that took out the majority of the remaining batarian forces, she could hear gunfire from the few remaining marines in her charge, and saw batarians dropping dead to the floor as she fell unconscious.

When she woke in sick bay the next morning she was surprised. What's more, she found her duffle packed and sitting beside the bed with orders to earth, and a crap assignment.  She may have lived through Torfan, but the command still buried her.

Hackett sat, unreadable in front of her. She tried her best not to fidget, but it was a struggle. Suddenly the commander’s door slid open and out walked a face she hadn’t seen since her rescue from Mindoir. Captain David Anderson, looking victorious next to her sullen commander. He nodded once with a smile, and then Hackett finally spoke.

“Commander Shepard,” he said, “Captain Anderson and I are here to formally transfer you to his command. You deserve better than this bureaucratic shithole posting, and you’re needed on an important, albeit classified mission. That is, if you accept.”

Accept? She had a choice? Twenty minutes before she had been looking for ways to get out of the Alliance altogether, and now this. She could refuse and try to get out, but with her reputation on top of being a biotic, her options for employment were slim. Closer to none. A chance to clear her name? Give back to Anderson? Why not? 

“Sir, I have one condition,” she answered “my name, officially. I’d like it changed from Rebecca to Bex in all records, past and future,” she requested, “Rebecca died on Mindoir, and was buried on Torfan.”

“Done,” Hackett agreed.

"This didn't work out as I had intended." Bex said, stunned.

“Grab your gear Shepard,” Anderson said with a chuckle, shaking her hand, “And welcome to the crew of The Normandy.”