#colonel lennox

While Colbourne has a brother and a mom who he may have had a good bond with, we know most of his interpersonal relationships were a disaster. Colbourne is very very traumatized and filled with self-hatred because of them. We see that in everything.

He was beaten as a kid by his governess. He had a dad who loved drinking, and whom he clearly detests from the way he tells Lady D he's "nothing like him".

He clearly grew up without a warm loving family. Kids with abusive parents grow up with very low self esteem, they often blame themselves for their parents and guardians hurting them and think they deserve poor treatment. People with childhood trauma also frequently have emotionally unsafe attachment styles, either remaining distant or getting too close too quickly and taking all the blame in relationships.

In episode 5 it is clear he feels very guilty for what he said to Lucy after she cheated and became pregnant. Practically no one reacts politely to a spouse cheating. After he got mad he still took her home and took care of her, but he still blames himself in part for her depression and suicide. He believes he made her so unhappy she first left him to go to London (not worthy of her time), then cheat on him (not man enough to take care of her needs, and then she didn't write to him to tell him the truth (not good enough to be trusted with it).

Even though depression doesn't work like that, Colbourne saw himself as the sole reason for her suicide. He believed she hated her life with him so much she rather died.

That's also why he stayed away from Leo and Augusta, because he sees himself as nothing but a burden who makes others unhappy. He only grows closer to his daughter and Augusta when Charlotte tells him his distance is doing more harm than good and clearly he doesn't want to harm a soul. He always takes Charlotte's advice because he clearly trusts her more in regards to taking care of others than himself.

He only starts absolving himself of a bit of guilt when Charlotte tells him Lucy's death wasn't his fault in episode 5 and in episode 6 when she says he's allowed to move on. But he's carried this hate and guilt for a decade, it won't just disappear.

Lennox is tormented, having just discovered that he has a child he never knew about and that he left the woman he loved behind while pregnant. Lennox has just discovered he actually had a family and he instantly had to give it up because he knew that because he's always on the move and he never married Lucy that he can't be a proper father for Leonora. Telling her the truth would make her feel like an orphan, it would make her feel bad about herself as she would be a bastard. Lennox hates himself and Colbourne. He's wounded, so he lashes out to make Colbourne hurt as much as him. So stabs him right where it hurts by once again hammering home Colbourne made his wife so unhappy she rather died.

Colbourne falls for the manipulation because he still believes it's true. He doesn't have confidence. He doesn't fight for Charlotte because he believes he has no right to fight for her. He thinks he's doing the right thing in letting her go. He thinks she'll be better off. He's being dumb but selfless.

And in season 3 he'll be confronted with the reality that he hurt Charlotte and himself more by sending her away than by keeping her. She's now on the path to a loveless marriage, the same thing he'd been stuck in and the same thing that made Lucy cheat because living without love is torture.

In season 3 Colbourne will have to let go of his trauma and get over his self-esteem issues and open himself up for new experiences, love, and the potential of being hurt again. Charlotte has locked herself off for love as she believes the hurt isn't worth it. She's been loved but she's never had a viable proposal. Nothing but a firm guarantee that she is loved and that a marriage is guaranteed will make her reconsider.

Charlotte always had to be the party asking men to be open with her, now he will have to be the one sharing stories about his life and his feelings. Now he will have to be the one to chase, and that won't be easy for someone who doesn't believe himself to be a worthy suitor. He'll have to grovel and give reassurances that her heart will be safe and protected this time, not easy for a man who feels like he failed that before. He'll have to be vulnerable, not easy for a man who keeps everyone at a distance. And he will have to do all of this while Charlotte is engaged and keeping her distance.