#collide 2022

The story was that Jake had co-signed a loan for a business started by a close friend from middle school, but the friend had vanished into thin air, leaving Jake with a staggering amount of debt. What Jake hadn't known when he signed the papers was that his friend had been borrowing money from far more than banks. Hearing these revelations for the first time from the man I had planned to marry was utterly shocking, and it shattered everything I thought I knew. I asked him why on earth he hadn't consulted me sooner, but there was no use crying over spilled milk now. The arrow had already left the bow, and it was hurtling straight toward us.

Jake was being hounded by collection calls dozens of times a day. At first, we thought it was just banks and lenders. Then we learned some of the debt had changed hands more than once, eventually ending up with people who weren't exactly in the lending business. After that, Jake started acting like a dead man walking.

We tried to scrape together every penny we had to clear the debt quickly. But the sheer scale of his liability was too massive; even draining the entire wedding fund we had saved wasn't anywhere near enough. It didn't take long to realize that the boyfriend I had thought was just nice was actually incredibly foolish and reckless. To put out the immediate fire, he went behind my back again and took out money from loan sharks, causing the situation to spiral entirely out of control. By the time I snapped out of it, I had lost the man I loved, all the money we had ever saved, and now, even his personal safety was under imminent threat.

Even though I felt heartbroken and resentful, seeing him break down and hold me while sobbing apologies made it impossible for me to push him away. Maybe I had a savior complex. I wanted to drag him out of this hellhole at all costs, and that agony was laid bare across my face and my daily life.

My coworkers, who knew about the mess Jake and I were in, looked at the deep dark circles carving under my eyes and offered some advice. "Ask Travis for help." Hearing those words, I finally realized just how naively innocent I had been all along. Travis was involved in things just as dangerous as the aura he exuded, and his prison stint was closely tied to his line of work. When I eventually found out that he was a notorious, high-ranking member of a local gang and a big-time drug dealer, I was seized by a cocktail of terror and a bizarre curiosity. The reason he always acted so relaxed, as if he had absolutely nothing to fear, was because he was the apex predator of this territory. While everyone who knew Travis described him as a terrifying figure, their voices didn't carry dread or hostility; instead, they held affection, comfort, and deep trust. It was as if the brutal world he inhabited had absolutely no bearing on ordinary people like us.

Clutching at straws, I finally reached out to Travis. He readily agreed that he could introduce us to people who could help, but he hesitated. He wasn't worried about his own position; he was genuinely worried about me and my boyfriend. He explained that there were people who could restructure the debt under far better conditions and stability than our current nightmare, but because they operated entirely outside the law, failing to pay them back properly would guarantee a future far worse than this one. I claimed to believe in Jake’s work ethic, but Travis didn't. While admitting he didn't know Jake well, he confessed with brutal honesty that among the men who let things get this disastrously bad, he had never once seen one successfully clear their debt without a horrific catch. Travis was sincerely worried about what would happen to me if I stayed by Jake's side, but I simply couldn't let go of his hand.

Once he heard the whole proposition, Jake bit the hook without a second thought. I connected him with Travis, and for a while, Jake could actually sleep with his legs stretched out for the first time in months. But the fragile peace we'd borrowed began to crumble again within months. Jake began to struggle with repaying even the vastly reduced loan amounts, and the discovery that he had turned to gambling for a quick fix entirely shattered me.

Now, because of this foolish man's actions, the safety of everyone around him—including his family and myself—was actively threatened. I knew it was incredibly shameless, but as a friend, I wanted to beg Travis one last time. To tell him I was so sorry for failing to live up to the precious lifeline he had thrown us, but to please help just once more. In response, he told me to come over to his house.

Listening to the whole sordid story, Travis didn't reprimand or mock me for treating his warnings so lightly. Instead, he simply dialed a number. He asked the person on the other end exactly how much my boyfriend owed, and after hanging up, he rubbed his jaw in thought. He coolly stated that while Jake's debt was an astronomical figure, he could pay off the entire balance, interest included, out of his own pocket. But then he delivered a sharp reality check: even between friends, there has to be a quid pro quo—a give and take. Since any money I had would rightfully go toward bailing out my boyfriend, he threw the ball back into my court, asking what I was willing to offer. It was then that he laid bare the romantic, carnal interest he had been harboring all this time, proposing that I spend the night with him.

The revelation that he'd wanted me for a long time, coupled with the calculating method and timing of his confession, left me thoroughly shaken. But what unhinged me the most was that while he completely respected and understood my relationship with my boyfriend, he was deliberately offering me a choice to betray him to save him. "I have no intention of forcing a woman I like," Travis said.

"Some people only wake up when they have nowhere left to turn and get hit hard. You've done more than enough. Stop torturing yourself and reclaim your life. It's not a peaceful death, but dying like this might actually be the only way to preserve whatever dignity he has left."

Travis was utterly convinced that the loan sharks would end up killing Jake, and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to do.

"Maybe it's only one night. Maybe you walk away tomorrow and never look back. But I really need you to stop destroying yourself for a man who's determined to destroy himself."

Hearing his tone, which sounded so genuinely concerned for my well-being, I began to get confused. Was he making this offer because he wanted me, or was it a desperate, heavy-handed move to stop me as a friend? Untangling these emotions brought an inexplicable rush of tears to my eyes, and he reached out, gently wiping them away. His hot, tender fingers brushed across my cheek.

The moment his hand fell away, I pulled my t-shirt over my head, leaving me in nothing but my bra. Travis fell utterly silent. He was staring at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. I stood up, unbuckled my jeans, and finally sat back down, perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed in nothing but my underwear. Unable to control the violent trembling of my body, I stared fixedly at the floor and whispered that I could go wash up first if he wanted. The words had barely left my mouth before he took a commanding step toward me.

His mouth violently slammed into mine, swallowing my lips whole. Seized by a bizarre obstinacy that I absolutely couldn't kiss a man I didn't love, I jerked my head aside and clamped my mouth shut. Travis didn't force the kiss; instead, he dragged his mouth down my neck, lingering at my collarbone and shoulders as though he couldn't get enough of me. Driven back until I hit the bed, I fell backward onto the mattress. While he pulled his layered t-shirts over his head, I dropped to my knees before him, unbuckling his belt to pleasure him. My hands were shaking so violently that a completely bare-chested Travis immediately halted my movements, pulling me back up to sit on the bed. If anyone saw the state of my face right then, they would think I hadn't consented to this encounter at all. Travis gently stroked my hair.

"Hey, hey. You just need to enjoy it."

I could feel his breath hitch into a dry chuckle at my stubborn refusal to let him kiss me. He smoothly worked his way down my body, mapping every inch with soft touches, unhooking my bra with one hand and sliding my panties off, leaving me entirely defenseless. Settling between my thighs, his face moved without a shred of hesitation to press against my most intimate flesh. The gentle foreplay that felt so incongruous with the situation instantly shifted into something predatory and primal. At first, I endured it by lying back and gripping the crumpled sheets, but soon, while my toes curled reflexively, I found myself desperately trying to push his head away. As his tongue aggressively sucked at my tenderest skin and swirled deep inside me, my thoughts scattered. Even after I shattered into two consecutive orgasms, he showed absolutely no intention of pulling away. The sheer pleasure—something I had never once experienced with my boyfriend—only amplified my suffocating guilt. Along with a slick, filthy sound, something far thicker and harder than his tongue suddenly pushed inside. Startled, I forced my eyes open, locking eyes with Travis, who was driving two fingers into me while keeping his mouth clamped onto my clitoris. From there, the situation spiraled into something far worse. It wasn't just the physical stimulation; the raw, possessive intensity of Travis’s gaze triggered a massive, violent climax, tearing a scream from my throat that I had never uttered in my entire life.

Utterly shell-shocked by the intensity, I stared blankly at the ceiling, gasping for air, barely aware that Travis was stripping out of the rest of his clothes. I had never imagined a human body could experience that level of sheer ecstasy. My scattered consciousness only snapped back when something thick and rigid, feeling like carved hardwood, pressed firmly against my opening. Travis was hovering over me, looking down at my flushed form, and only then did I realize that the weight resting against my entrance was his length. I wasn't a virgin, but the sheer size of the head alone caused a stretching, alien ache that made me feel like my body was tearing apart. His shaft was vastly thicker than the head. Despite how heavily wet I was, his penis was so disproportionately massive compared to what I was used to accommodating with Jake that it struggled to make entry. Right then, the crushing guilt of betraying my boyfriend and coupling with Travis finally flared back to life. Tears spilled uncontrollably down my face, and I brokenly begged him to put on a condom. I had absolutely no right to make demands, and I knew I was in no position to negotiate, but I pleaded desperately, praying he would show a shred of mercy.

I kept acting selfishly, like throwing a tantrum at him, but his reaction was stunning. He rained soft, tender kisses all over my wrecked face, pulled his hips back from me, and wrapped his arms around me, soothingly patting my back. Instead of getting angry, he actually whispered apologies, trying his best to comfort and calm me down. As my sobbing subsided, he stroked my hair, got up from the bed, and walked back over holding a condom. I knew it was completely delusional given our transaction, but for a split second, it felt as though he and I were lovers deeply in love. For one reckless second, it felt less like a transaction and more like being held by someone who genuinely cared.

Yet, even though I wept and begged, he had no intention of actually stopping. Travis tore open the wrapper, rolled the condom onto his length, and pinned me back down. The messy way he tossed the wrapper onto the floor betrayed a sudden, dark impatience. He aligned his body with mine again, preparing to drive inside. Terrified by the sensation that my lower half was about to be split clean in two, I trembled violently, crying out that it wouldn't fit, but he just let out a relaxed laugh, murmuring that it was fine as he relentlessly forced his weight forward. His patience had finally hit its limit. "I'll go slow," he whispered. His voice was incredibly tender, but the brute force of his penis wedging itself between my thighs felt terrifyingly dominant, sending a jolt of raw fear through me. Despite this not being my first time, welcoming him inside felt utterly terrifying and painful. Ignoring my frantic writhing, he set his hips and plunged deep, forcing me to take him all the way to the very root.

Though my slickness eventually allowed his penis to move smoothly, I remained paralyzed by the shock of being forcefully stretched. He looked down at me with eyes entirely stripped of amusement, and out of sheer humiliation and fear, I did everything I could to avoid his gaze. Soon, Travis’s thumb began to aggressively rub against my clitoris. As his touch moved in heavy, deliberate circles, controlling the pressure, my whimpers began to pitch into high, breathless keens.

Unlike with Jake, where I could easily fake or control my reactions, my body was violently slipping out of my command. Before long, every single time his pelvis slammed flush against my ass, blinding white sparks exploded behind my eyelids, tearing loud, unbidden moans from my throat. Feeling a completely foreign type of climax washing over me, panic set in—I felt myself slipping further and further out of my own control. As his tip repeatedly battered a deep, sensitive spot inside my womb, orgasms crashed over me like tidal waves, shattering my sanity. Through the haze, I caught a glimpse of Travis smiling brightly down at me, but my brain was too foggy to process it.

Once the threshold was crossed, shattering it again was effortless. Having experienced a deep, internal orgasm for the very first time in my life, I was tossed from one climax straight into another, and Travis watched my unraveling with pure, dark amusement. The encounter, which I thought would end after one or two rounds, stretched on endlessly until I completely lost count of how many times I had come.

He growled a few filthy strings of dirty talk in my ear, but my mind was too far gone to comprehend the words. Travis didn't care; he simply kept consuming me. What little consciousness I had left was entirely spent frantically jerking my head away from his invading mouth, desperate to avoid a kiss. "Why do you keep avoiding my mouth?" Finally, his words registered clearly. I felt an absolute, desperate need to answer that specific question. Because a kiss belonged only to someone you loved. As I mumbled my broken explanation, he answered smoothly.

"But we're making love right now, aren't we? Just let it happen. Yeah? I love you."

He kept coaxing me like a needy child, persistently trying to capture my lips. I refused to surrender the absolute last shred of my pride. When I continuously thrashed my head from side to side, rejecting him, he abruptly stopped coaxing. Instead, he flipped our positions, pulling me on top of him just as I was on the precipice of another climax. Though I had peaked in this exact position just minutes prior, after a few thrusts, I realized something had drastically changed. Unlike before, Travis was merely grinding his hips in a slow, agonizingly lazy circle, and my fiercely overheated body began to rapidly cool down.

Already utterly addicted to the pleasure he provided, I desperately began to ride him, violently rolling my hips on his shaft. I frantically squeezed my own breasts and rubbed my clitoris, but it only made me feel wretched. His face bore the coldest, most detached expression I had seen since meeting him. I desperately wanted him to take control again, to violently drag my soul back up to that peak. No matter how hard I worked my hips on my own, I couldn't even get close to the mind-numbing ecstasy he had just been delivering. By now, Jake and any lingering moral code were entirely wiped from my mind. Everything else faded into the background until only Travis remained. Seized by a sudden, terrifying panic that I had angered him with my arrogant, stubborn attitude, tears spilled from my eyes again, but his demeanor remained utterly indifferent. The thought of him looking at me that way again made my chest tighten.

I had no choice but to surrender. I wanted to capitulate, to submit completely to him. When I placed both of my hands against his cheeks, he tilted his head slightly, perfectly mirroring my previous rejection. He was definitely smiling, but that small, mocking gesture—the exact replication of how I had treated him—sliced through me, making me feel deeply wounded and filled with regret. Desperate, I pulled his face down, pressing my lips firmly against his. Travis kept his mouth tightly shut, but I pathetically sucked at his lips, sliding the tip of my tongue along the seam, begging to enter his mouth. He stared at me with an unreadable, piercing gaze, refusing to open up, until I was forced to pull away in utter defeat. Just as the horrific, suffocating realization that I had ruined everything with him began to crush me, Travis let out a bright, dazzling laugh, wrapped a hand around the back of my head, and violently pulled me into a deep kiss.

Our lips parted seamlessly, greedily tangling our tongues together, and the familiar sensation of his mouth wrapping around mine sent me spinning back into oblivion. His hand anchored firmly at the back of my head, his fingers burying into my hair to massage my scalp. The elusive peak that I couldn't reach on my own no matter what I tried was handed back to me instantly, delivered by nothing more than the glide of his tongue and the pressure of his fingertips.

I buckled, twitching and arching against him with shallow, broken whines. "You're so incredibly filthy, you know that?" He pinned me back down to the mattress, violently claiming me all over again. As he drove his hips into me in a relentless rhythm, he continuously whispered into my ear that we were doing these dirty things because we loved each other. Given his initial casual stance of a mere one-night stand, his words made absolutely no sense, but I was completely conquered, utterly incapable of mounting a single defense.

*****

When I finally regained proper consciousness, it was around noon. Waking up to an unfamiliar environment startled me for a brief second, but ridiculously enough, the plush comfort of the blanket tucked securely up to my neck and the familiar, distinct scent of Travis lingering in the sheets instantly grounded me. I sat up and surveyed the room. The space was pristine and organized, but the clothes I had stripped out of the night before were nowhere to be seen.

I called out Travis’s name, but there was no response, not even a rustle of movement. Left with no choice, I allowed myself a quiet moment to look around his bedroom. Hip-hop artist posters in sleek frames dominated one wall, while rows of sneakers, a skateboard, and a surfboard were immaculately arranged on shelves and wall mounts. Along with the profound relief that the nightmare was finally over, a delusional sensation that I had somehow become his girlfriend washed over me—and only then did the crushing reality of Jake’s existence smash back into my brain.

The bizarre tranquility I had been basking in vanished, instantly replaced by a wave of anxiety and dread. I desperately hoped Jake would never find out about last night, terrified for him and knowing he must have been sick with worry about me all night. Hurrying to check my phone, I grabbed the device resting on a nearby side table, and the moment I looked at the screen, my entire world shattered.

There was a single text from Jake. The message was a venomous tirade, branding me a worthless, cheap whore and telling me to never, ever look for him again. I collapsed inward. I didn't even know how to name the tangled web of emotions tearing through me, but I was grieving. Liberation, agony, and suffocating guilt bled into one another. How he had discovered what happened between me and Travis didn't even matter. While I understood the profound betrayal and agony he must be feeling, a fierce, white-hot anger flared up inside me because all the selfless sacrifices and struggles I had endured by his side had been reduced to absolute garbage. Had I really made such a horrific choice? Did he ever stop to think about what my heart was going through? I knew I could never justify my actions, but the sheer sense of injustice and resentment was unbearable.

Right then, the sound of the front door unlocking echoed through the apartment, followed by heavy footsteps. It didn't take long to realize who it was. Travis walked in, looking absolutely immaculate from head to toe, holding takeout bags adorned with a cute franchise mascot in both hands. There I was, sitting exposed on the bed, pathetically clawing the blanket around my naked body, weeping hysterically. The faint, easy smile on his face vanished instantly. One look at my face, and it was clear he already knew exactly what had happened.

He dropped the bags onto the counter and rushed over to the bed. Carefully, he gathered me into his arms, pulling me flush against his solid chest. The sweet, distinct aroma of his vape instantly flooded my lungs. Terrified that my tears and mucus might ruin his clothes, I tried to sniffle back, but he didn't seem to care about that at all.

"I wanted to get back before you woke up so I could tell you myself, but I guess I was too late."

He softly apologized, murmuring that his own greed had ruined everything. Dropping to his knees beside the bed to bring himself to my eye level, he began to gently explain the truth behind the chaos.

Travis confessed that from the exact moment I had begged him for help, he had already decided to clear Jake's debt himself. Even if I had refused to sleep with him, Jake's loan was going to be paid off regardless. He explained that the sole reason behind his benevolence was because he loved me. He knew that no matter what, I would never let go of Jake's hand, and he realized that as long as that debt remained, my destruction was guaranteed. He wanted to end my suffering, even if it meant I would never choose him. In fact, the funds had cleared before I even arrived at his apartment last night, but that was exactly where the wires got crossed. While I was tangled in his sheets, Jake had gone to meet the loan sharks to make his monthly payment. The collectors simply informed him that his entire debt had been erased, told him to clean up his act, and handed him Travis’s address, telling him to go thank the man who had bailed him out. Travis let out a bitter, helpless huff, admitting he had been so completely blinded by the prospect of finally having the woman of his dreams in his bed that he hadn't foreseen the fallout. Travis gripped both of my hands even tighter. His hands were visibly trembling.

He acknowledged that the order of operations was disastrously messed up, but swore his feelings for me were entirely pure and real, begging for the chance to be my actual boyfriend. He added that he didn't expect an answer right away, but amid my profound shock, a fierce instinct to protect him from hurt flared up inside me. It was a slightly twisted realization, but his dangerous presence suddenly felt like a grand prize, a twisted blessing from God himself. Reaching out, I pressed my lips to his in a quiet vow of acceptance, and he smiled against my mouth, eagerly drinking in the kiss. Our tongues tangled deeper, and when my hands reached down to pull at his shirt, he gently caught my wrists.

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon."

He murmured that we had all the time in the world now, suggesting we take things slow. I couldn't help but smile.

*****

Travis stared down at the woman deeply asleep on the mattress, her body utterly drained from the consecutive climaxes, her soft whimpers finally silenced by exhaustion. He rolled the used condom off his length, tied it in a knot, and tossed it into the trash. After a careless wipe with a piece of tissue, he pulled his pants back on without bothering with underwear. Grabbing his vape, he let it preheat, took a few heavy drags, and casually strolled out into the living room.

In the dimly lit space, Jake was sitting on the couch. There was no telling exactly how long he had been sitting there. His fists were clenched so hard against his thighs that all the blood had drained from his knuckles, and he was weeping silently, tears and snot streaming down his face. He kept his eyes locked on the floor in pure, unadulterated humiliation, but Travis noticed the distinct, pathetic bulge straining against the crotch of his jeans. Travis let out a contemptuous click of his tongue. On the coffee table lay the messy stacks of cash Jake had practically broken his bones to scrape together through various odd jobs. Walking with the slow, heavy stride of a sated lion, Travis sank into the single-seater armchair across from him. The quiet living room was filled only with the sound of Jake sniffling, the soft hiss of Travis exhaling sweet vapor, and the rhythmic rustle of paper as Travis casually counted the cash.

Tossing the counted stacks onto the table one by one, Travis openly mocked the broken man across from him.

"You actually got a hard-on listening to me slide in and out of my girlfriend? Jesus, man. For a guy who looks so plain, you've got a seriously sick kink."

The bold, casual declaration of ownership over the woman sleeping in the next room made Jake flinch violently. "She's my girlfriend," he choked out, every syllable requiring a monumental effort against the paralyzing terror gripping his throat. He desperately wanted to push back. Travis merely smiled wider, shaking his head with mock pity. "You gonna talk like that when you can't even take care of your own woman?" The words sounded casually thrown out, but they were laced with pure venom.

"What kind of man can't even clean up his own fucking mess, to the point where he lets his woman sell her body to fix it?"

Travis couldn't contain his amusement, letting out a dark laugh, while Jake ground his teeth so hard he could taste blood.

"...I know you engineered this entire thing. You ruined our lives."

The accusation made Travis's fingers pause over the bills. "Our?" Travis snorted. Lifting his gaze from the money, he locked eyes with Jake, whose eyes were bloodshot and wild with fury. But regardless of the rage consuming him, even if Jake had a knife or a loaded gun in his hands right this second, he stood absolutely zero chance against the predator sitting across from him. "So what?" Travis asked, his face melting into his signature boyish, innocent expression.

"Even if I did, what the fuck are you going to do about it? Call the cops? Or maybe go tell her the truth? Want to run to her and admit you're so fucking incompetent that you walked right into a trap laid by a bad guy? Tell me, what exactly can you provide for her that I can't do better?"

The brutal truth of his words instantly broke Jake's spirit, and his gaze slid helplessly back to the floor. "And honestly, everything else aside, you're the dumb fuck who ran straight to a gambling den the second you wanted a few quick bucks. You couldn't fix a single thing with this pathetic pile, yet you sure know how to run your mouth." Finished with the money, Travis casually tossed a single thick stack of bills right at Jake's chest, telling him to use it for cab fare and to never show his face around here again. When Jake weakly protested that he couldn't just abandon the woman sleeping in the bedroom, it finally wore through the last of Travis's amusement.

"I guess you don't appreciate the fact that you're still breathing with all your limbs intact, courtesy of her."

The cold certainty in Travis's stare made sweat break out across Jake’s neck, his eyelids fluttering with terror. The invisible threat materialized into a suffocating, physical dread. Travis had granted a singular mercy by allowing Jake to close the curtain on his relationship with the girl—even if that mercy meant severing their bond with the most vicious, hateful words imaginable. Like a beaten dog getting kicked out of its owner's yard, Jake had lost everything and was being violently pushed out of the territory. The moment he pulled the front door open, two massive, heavily built men were standing like brick walls in the hallway. Recognizing exactly who they were, Jake’s knees nearly buckled, but the enforcers paid him absolutely no mind. Pushing past him into the apartment, they gave Travis a respectful, disciplined bow.

"Pass along my apologies to the Old Man for letting a small spark fly his way," Travis said easily. "It's a bit short, but as soon as the sun is fully up, I'll wire the rest with interest. Tell him to call off his hounds regarding this idiot."

"Actually, sir, the Boss explicitly stated that the money isn't necessary. He simply asked us to convey his regards and hopes for a prosperous relationship moving forward."

"Can't do that. Business is business, keep it clean. Take it now, before I change my mind."

Travis offered a casual wave of his hand, and the men quickly swept the cash into their duffel bags. Once the intruders cleared out, the apartment fell dead silent once more. Travis walked back into the bedroom, looking down at the woman sleeping peacefully, entirely oblivious to the world. He reached out, gently stroking her hair, a faint smile carving into his lips.