#cohldhands

~I've been contemplating writing a fic where Sakura has a miscarriage. This would partially be a way of helping me process my own (there's a lot that's hard to talk about even with my therapist), but I also have never seen a miscarriage in fiction that depicted what I went through, so I want to contribute that to the world.

~I've also had a whumpy fic idea where Sakura and Rock Lee get captured by enemy ninja, and Sakura is forced to keep healing them between getting tortured.

~I've also had an idea inspired by the movie Obsession (2026) where Lee makes a wish that makes Sakura love him.

I also finally want to get around to writing my "Hunger Games - Prim's Game AU", my LeeSaku accidental marriage fic, and my NezuLee engagement fic that have been brewing for years. I might work on one of them once the Chunin Exam arc is done in Crystal.

And finally, more generally, I've been thinking about the Glee!AU for GaaLee as well as writing for Abstragedy (TADC), though I don't have anything specific in mind for these right now other than Gaara would definitely sing Enter Sandman at some point.

Whether the crowd was in the hundreds, or in single digits, didn’t seem to matter to him.

“You’re missing the party!” Saoirse gushed as he tossed an arm around Kai Fen’s shoulders. Kai Fen rolled his eyes, and he would have tugged himself away if Saoirse didn’t keep squeezing him in some form of a hug.

“You know this is more your kind of party then mine.”

“Well, yeah, but you know you like them.” Kai Fen sighed through his nose and looked away. Saoirse squeezed him a bit tighter. “I know that look is just Kai Fen for yes.”

“They’re… a lot.”

“I know. That’s why I have something else planned, too. Come on.”

Before Kai Fen knew what was happening, Saoirse had his hand, and then he was being pulled through the night-time streets of Linast, and then were running across a bridge, and then they were under it. Kai Fen kept asking what was going on, but Saoirse kept hushing him as he tug about some of the reeds. Then he’d dragged out a boat and plunked it into the river, motioning for Kai Fen to get in. Kai Fen eyed both him and the boat with suspicion, but he got in, and then he and Saoirse were floating along the river.

Kai Fen really wasn’t sure what to say as Saoirse sat in front of him, actually looking nervous. He didn’t know what to say as he pulled a guitar up from the bottom of the boat, as he tuned a few of the chords. Kai Fen didn’t know what to say when Saoirse offered him a smile and a nervous laugh, and still didn’t know what to say as he started to play.

He’d seen Saoirse play many, many times before, both in private and on stages before large crowds, and not once had he seen him look so nervous. The first few chords rung out over the water, and then Saoirse took a breath and closed his eyes, and then he was singing.

Nervousness melted away from his face, and then Kai Fen didn’t think he could look away if he wanted to. Saoirse was like this. He could be nervous, could be silly and sometimes stupid, could be annoying, but the second he was behind an instrument, the second he opened his mouth, all of that melted away. Saoirse could hold a crowd, he could simply stand on stage and command attention with nothing but the way he would ask a question, and each and every time Kai Fen had born witness to it, his breathing had turned shallow and his eyes had become glued.

He could watch Saoirse perform for hours, he was sure. Days, even, if Saoirse somehow had the energy for it.

Saoirse’s voice echoed off the side of the canals, off the underside of bridges as they floated under them. Kai Fen couldn’t understand the words - he was pretty sure the language was Cuarth - but he was almost glad for it. Trying to find meaning, to find definitions, would have meant he wasn’t just sitting, and listening.

Then the song was over, and Saoirse opened his eyes, and then he was normal Saoirse again and he was nervously tugging at his hair as he laid the guitar back in the bottom of their small boat. Kai Fen only watched, trying to will words to come out of his throat, but he had never been good with words. So instead he watched as Saoirse sat back up, looked at him, and then took a deep breath.

“Kai Fen,” he said, and Kai Fen lifted his chin. Saoirse’s eyes flicked away, and he took a deep breath, and then he looked back. “I’ve known you for several moons now.” Kai Fen wasn’t sure if he was hearing right. It was accented, and stilted and awkward, but Saoirse was speaking Enyese. Saoirse noticed his reaction, and smiled easily, emboldened by it.

“When I see you, all I want is to see you smile. I want to see the smile you wear when you like the weather. I want to see the smile you wear when you eat your favourite food. I want to see the smile you wear when it starts to hurt but you can’t stop laughing. I want to win them from you, one by one.”

Kai Fen was almost certain this was a dream. Saoirse’s green eyes flicked down for a second as he took a breath, but by the time he was speaking again he was looking back up.

“If it would make you happy, would make you smile, I would like to do this with you again.”

The only thing Kai Fen could think of to say was “Where did you learn Enyese?” Saoirse’s smile grew - bloomed - and he laughed lightly. Nervously. His eyes flicked away. Kai Fen realized he missed them, wanted them back on him.

“Kuratsa.”

That made sense. “How long did you..?”

“I’ve had this planned for about a moon,” Saoirse confessed. “I had the, um, confession written a long time ago.”

Saoirse’s eyes lifted back up, and although Kai Fen had looked into those green eyes hundreds of times before, he realized that he had never noticed the slight yellowish tone they took around the pupil. He shifted his feet, and so did Saoirse, and then Saoirse was leaning forward, and Kai Fen couldn’t breath, and his eyes were so many more colours than Kai Fen had ever realized, and then-

They kissed.

It was a short, sweet, chaste peck, and Kai Fen was glad because he wasn’t sure if he could handle anything else. That alone, just the slightest brush of Saoirse’s lips against his, had left his mind reeling. All he could do as Saoirse pulled away was open his eyes and stare. He realized how much he was leaning forward and he slowly sat back.

His face felt like it was on fire.

“You never answered me,” Saoirse breathed. His cheeks had been dusted a rosy pink. “Would you like to do this again?”

“Yes.” Kai Fen was surprised by the loudness, the sureness, the assertiveness of his voice. A smile spread its way across Saoirse’s face, and then he was throwing himself across the boat to pull Kai Fen into a hug.