#cod ramblings

Omega!Makarov knew you couldn’t wait for pups. He couldn’t, either; after he settled with you, and found himself imagining himself pregnant. Hand idly rubbing his stomach more often than not.

And, by chance, he gets his wish. He becomes pregnant. In no time at all, he starts to prepare for the pup. A nursery is built; only the best craftsman are taken on to build the crib, to paint the nursery bright colors. There are toys, there are books. He reads the parenting books front to back and fusses over every minuscule detail that the nursery contains.

When he’s not in his office, you find him in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair with a hand on his belly.

Everything was going great. Better than great. Makarov was healthy, the baby was healthy.

Until the baby stopped kicking around week twenty-five. Neither of you want to face the inevitable; neither of you want to realize that your baby will never be brought home.

But you have to. You and Makarov get to a private hospital, and there his labor is induced. The one mercy this cold night offers is a somewhat simple birth. The baby boy comes out.

Yet the room is painfully quiet. Everyone’s holding their breath, praying that this tiny baby would breathe. Scream. Everyone knew it was impossible.

The tiny body simply had no voice.

You and Makarov are kept in a private wing. The nurses clean your baby, dress him in a onesie, and provide the two of you a basket of small keepsakes- prints of your baby’s feet, a blanket with the baby’s last name embroidered, and a small hat.

When you and Makarov get home, he locks the nursery door. You don’t ask him about it; not when you plan out a way to bury a child you never got to know.

Months pass. Makarov does not unlock the nursery. Leaves everything untouched, exactly as it was before he lost the pup.

Simon and Johnny first encounter one another at a lake. Johnny was swimming with his flock and Simon was trying not to gaze too longingly at the water.

It had been a year and a half, he recalled, since he’d last been able to swim. To swim without slipping under; to enjoy the feeling of cold water over his seal fur.

Not to say he hasn’t tried. But…the man who called himself Simon’s husband didn’t like it. He’d even gotten rid of every bathtub in their house so he couldn’t even have that small comfort.

Johnny noticed the way he looked. And perhaps recognized someone like him. Shifters have a way of knowing.

So he swam up to Simon, gesturing towards the lake. ‘join us’ he said, without saying a word.

Simon shook his head, staying silent because he didn’t want *him* to hear any words about how he’d been refused the ability to swim, about how his seal-coat was locked away somewhere he’d never be able to find it, and how he was caught with an awful man who’d promised him love and warmth but only gave fear and coldness.

The next time they meet, Simon had fled to the same lake, this time in the middle of the night. Clothes torn, body bruised and sore. Desperate for any kind of help or relief.