#cloudruns

Retirement wasn’t easy ... what people saw in this was beyond the ex-hashira, no matter the happy face he put on for his wives. Sure, there were benefits ... like being able to be with his wives more often and not have as many circumstances pull him away, but boredom had become a reality in his life ... a fact that Tengen wasn’t entirely certain in how to deal with. So ... instead, he made it everybody else’s problem. 

Including Koshiyaku. 

Having heard of the most recent successful mission, Tengen had opted to come and ‘celebrate’ with the younger male, one hand holding several boxes of food that his wives had prepared and oh so eagerly sent him out the door with. Maybe ... maybe he was driving them crazy with his boredom too? He wouldn’t think on it too much. 

koshi stares at him back

@cloudruns asked: salvia :   is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ? how do they express that possessiveness ,   or lack thereof ? (( Senjuro ))

over people ? yes. very much so. but quietly.

sen. . . doesn't have a lot of people who like him. at least, not in his eyes; his natural assumption is that everyone is looking down on him or, more aptly, simply doesn't know he exists. if you do interact with him positively, he's inclined to believe it's only a matter of time before you realize he's nothing, change your mind, and leave him out in the cold again. no one is immune to this. not even kyojuro.

he is heartbreakingly insecure from childhood to his mid-twenties. insecurity breeds most negative emotions, chief among them jealousy and possessiveness. he will not fight to make you stay, but he will work hard to show you why you should stay, which leads to him doing a lot of people pleasing and getting taken advantage of emotionally.

but anyway. yes. sen is possessive. but he's also aware of how ridiculous it is to feel like that. he doesn't deserve to feel like he has any claim over anyone; he shames himself for the emotion and does his best to keep it hidden, because it's no one's job to deal with that feeling but himself.

the way possessiveness manifests is through service and time. he will do a lot for you, anything, to prove he's worthy of your time and attention. he will spend a lot of time with you, hovering, and probably annoy you. his silence, once warm and companionable, becomes strained as he restrains himself from saying something needy and stupid. because he is needy, but he's afraid of saying it outloud and being humiliated.

@cloudruns​ asked:  ❛   i wish i could’ve been like you.  ❜  (( tengen! )) \\  QUOTES THAT BROKE ME - accepting  

The pain of his injuries were still there, making themselves known no matter how well he hid the fact. Multiple stab wounds, countless cuts, a missing hand and an eye, all things that given and taken to him in the entertainment district. Sure, he had a small number of people come and express their gratitude that he had survived, some in awe of the fact that he had managed to kill an upper moon demon with the help of the boys... 

He didn’t feel as if he deserved that praise. He didn’t deserve none of it. Eye closed as he went through all the events yet again in his mind, playing out what he could have done differently, working through the ins and outs of his actions for the hundredth time ... so many people could have been saved if he hadn’t tried to keep a low profile..

Opening his eye as he heard the next visitor arrive, he was fully prepared to simply tell them to go the hell away and leave him alone ... when the sight of Koshiyaku greeted him. The demand immediately fell away, offering the kinoe a smile instead. The question of how his sister was doing immediately was spoken, a short moment of conversation passing between the two as Tengen felt a relief that at the very least Koshiyaku’s sisters had been spared ... 

When Koshiyaku spoke the words that he did. 

Body visibly stilling, Tengen’s eye widened as he stared at Koshiyaku. A host of emotions tumbled through his mind, from rejection to happiness to outright sorrow ... and he was certain the emotions played across his eye as well as a lingering moment of silence extended between them. FInally letting out the breath that he hadn’t known he was holding in a sigh, Tengen reached up with his hand to scrub over his face, the intense pain of the pressure over his missing eye helping keep him in the here-and-now. 

     @cloudruns​ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ: The Byō sisters only knew him by name and brief description — nothing more, but they had a mission! Maemi rushes up to Genya and climbs onto a rock nearby — leaning over to insert a bunny hairpin into his hair. Yuriko waits by the side, observing with a tiny chuckle, and runs around the corner the second Maemi slid off the rock and followed her closely. // unprompted

     What in the— Oh god, they’re coming closer— Wait wait wait wait—

     Genya can hardly react to the girls before one of them is climbing on things and reaching toward his hair. He’s frozen in place, heat building up from his neck. Why are they so close—??

     @cloudruns​ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ: (holds out his mic). so. giyuu. how much do you love koshiyaku? // ask questions

     ❝Byō...❞

     That was simultaneously the easiest and most difficult question Giyuu had ever encountered. The way his heart thrummed warmly against his chest spoke more volumes as to how much Byō Koshiyaku was loved than his mouth ever could. His Cloud Breather wasn’t even here, but even the thought of him had Giyuu tugging gently at the sleeves of his haori.

     ... I want to see him.

     ❝I don’t feel any pressure around him. He doesn’t get upset when I don’t speak, like Iguro does.❞ Giyuu thinks of Koshiyaku’s hands, calloused like his own and war torn from countless battles, yet gentle when he slots their fingers together like they were made for each other. He could spend hours in silence like that — has spent hours in silence like that, sharing mango candies or shrimp tempura hand in hand until a sister needed her older brother for one thing or another.

     Giyuu feels himself about to say something ridiculous as it pops into his head. ❝I feel... safe with him.❞ Safe? It is he who had protected Koshiyoka all those years ago, rescued him from a demon readying itself to rip the man in two. So why is it that when he’s in Koshiyoka’s presence he feels differently? Like he had been the one who was saved?

     @cloudruns​ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ: giyuu & genya ' hc ' + navigating having a crush on someone // send hc +

     Short answer: he doesn’t.

     Long answer: he doesn’t, now with more depression.

     His first crush was Sabito, and it ended before Giyuu could say a single thing about how much he meant to him. To Sabito they were best friends, and that’s it. After that, Giyuu is stuck. He’s stuck loving his dead friend, unable to move on and trying to find ways to cope that never start well and end even worse. He does not process his trauma, he exists as a shell, avoids discussing any feelings outside of Pillar business and laments.

     Crushes, romance, lovers, anything remotely close to feelings are not things he thinks about or considers until after Tanjiro figuratively gives him a kick in the ass about Sabito’s own feelings toward him. In a headspace of healing, Giyuu is still incredibly nervous, uncertain and scared to fall in love again. The last time that love was ripped out of his hands and he had no one to help him pick up the pieces, but now that he is making an effort to grow and change... he is more willing to allow himself to feel those blossoming feelings again.

     That does not mean he is very good at expressing those feelings. He’s never had to before, and usually results in an attempt at making food that may or may not be up to standard due to limited hands in the kitchen. He has difficulty expressing himself and how he feels, but slowly, eventually finds the words.

     @loveoaths ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ: the fox perches in a wisteria tree overhead, watching the wind dance through pale purple. it is a beautiful thing, this perfumed poison, as beautiful as giyuu’s . . . moment, below.  “Like I said,” sabito touches a wisteria blossom. his hand passes through it. the living get to move on from death, but the dead cling to life, no matter how miserable and pale it leaves them. “You’ll be fine without me.” // ghost!sabito for giyuu, after giyuu’s kiss with koshi :) // unprompted (@cloudruns​)

     Heart drops into his stomach the moment words reach his ears. They come from behind, from the wisteria trees protecting the manor ahead. Koshiyaku has since gone inside to check on his sisters, while the ice flooding through Giyuu’s veins roots him in place. A breeze tosses long hair, bangs tickle his cheeks. He doesn’t feel it.

     Sabito...

     Of course the fox appears now, now when he feels a moment of normalcy, now when his guilt waned for only a second. The ice melts and leaves a pit where his heart once was to allow Giyuu to turn to face the trees. Fox mask stares at him from among the branches, unblinking, expressionless. Breath leaves his chest in a short gasp and he can’t catch it again.

     ❝No...❞ he speaks and almost doesn’t hear it, a whisper that the wind carries far away.

     Fingers are curled into patterned haori fabric over his heart, clinging onto the only tangible reminder of his best friend that haunts every waking hour and every sleepless night. How? How could Sabito say that he would be fine? After everything he’s lost “fine” seems like a distant, impossible speck of light in the black hole he exists in.

     — But that’s just it, isn’t it? This is a reminder.