Part journaling exercise, part character study, part playing imaginary friends with clone troopers.
Warnings: Arguments, Fives giving off irritating little brother vibes, threats.
---
Commando
âAhh, finally some representation!â Fi crowed, beaming at me.
Sev glanced over, frowning when he saw the shirt I was wearing. âWhat are you talking about, diâkut? Thatâs a white commando helmet. You and the rest of Omega wear that ridiculous black armor.â
âThat armor has saved our shebs more times than we can count,â Niner told him.
âYeah?â Scorch asked, eyes dancing. âHow did it work out for you on that snow planet?â
âThat isnât the point,â Fi brushed off. âPoint is, itâs clearly stylized. Itâs supposed to be a negative image. Black armor on a white background.â
âJust like you on that snow planet,â Boss said casually.Â
âSo you agree the picture on her shirt is of us.â Darman hadnât even been in the room last time I checked, but he was suddenly there and sounding victorious.Â
I shook my head at the argument and kept working my way through the dirty dishes in the sink. And yet, my shoulders felt suddenly tight with tension when Fives walked in and made a disgusted noise in my direction.Â
âUgh, a commando helmet?â he asked, not bothering to disguise his disdain. âWhy? Got bored representing the better half of the GAR?âÂ
âBetter?â various commandos demanded.Â
âHalf?â I repeated. That seemed like a severe overstatement from what I knew about the GAR.Â
âNo offense,â Fives told everyone, giving his most offensive look around the room. âItâs just⌠well, you know. Commandos are bred that way. ARC troopers are the ones who distinguished themselves in battle. We earn our specialties.âÂ
âYou wouldnât last a day as a commando,â Sev snapped.Â
Fives shrugged. âYeah, Iâve heard you can die of boredom.âÂ
Sev snarled and Boss didnât look particularly motivated to hold him back from the now-smirking Fives.Â
Fixer stepped slightly in front of his squad-mate. It seemed like the only concession anyone was willing to offer. âCommandos get more training than any ARC. Itâs different from the ground up. ARCs are standard troopers who happened to think fast enough not to be killed. Commandos are trained to think differently all of the time.âÂ
âWeâre Kaminoâs most advanced group of troopers,â Atin expanded for Fives. âYouâre basically a standard trooper with a skirt and a chip on your shoulder.â
âSkirt?â Fives demanded, finally sounding less than thrilled.Â
âHey, a commando shirt,â Wrecker commented, coming inside from his most recent guard shift. He looked utterly bewildered by the way everyone turned on him, snarling. I gestured frantically for him to stop talking or just leave, but Wrecker was busy staring around the room and trying to figure out what had happened.Â
âYou got something to add about commandos?â Scorch asked, his smile a bit too sharp for my comfort.
Interestingly, Wrecker and the rest of the Bad Batch were kind of commandos, I mused. They had certainly gotten less intense training than the earlier squads like Delta and Omega, but technicallyâŚ
âNope, nothinâ at all,â Wrecker demurred, holding his hands up as he walked out of the room.Â
Smart man.Â
âIâm just saying,â Fives started, âthis argument is pretty even with just me representing the ARCs. Thatâs a pretty clear sign in my favor.âÂ
âThe only sign is that the ARC training program takes troopers who are a few screws short of a gunship,â Atin muttered loudly.Â
Stomping footsteps from the front door sounded their slow, ponderous way into the kitchen. I glanced over in time to watch Alpha-17 round the corner. He seemed to pick up on the tension in the air, staring around the room with displeasure written across his scarred face. âWhatever osik youâre all going on about, keep it to yourselves. I donât have enough patience to pretend to care.âÂ
The commandos dispersed, throwing dark looks and muttered complaints in Fivesâ direction. For his part, Fives stood beaming at Alpha as he settled into a chair across the counter from where I was washing dishes.Â
âFives, what are you staring at?â Alpha demanded. Without waiting for an answer, he added, âKark off. Iâm tired of looking at you.âÂ
Alpha and I sat in silence for a long moment before I lifted a brow at him. âItâs like you could smell the trouble.âÂ
Alpha snorted, lifting his arm to show you the comlink attached to his vambrace. âEcho told me what was going on. Figured Iâd put a stop to it before they got too wrapped up in themselves.âÂ
âAh.â I thought about that as I set a dish on the drying rack. âYou may have been a few minutes too late for that.âÂ
âDid anyone throw a punch?â he asked. When I shook my head, Alpha said, âThen I was on time. If it happens again, kick âem out of the house. I know you can do that. May as well use it now and then.âÂ
âAt least it was a good distraction from the dishes,â I said mournfully, looking at the stack I still had yet to clean.Â
Alpha gave me an exasperated look. âYou have access to years of music and podcasts on that phone. That has to be more entertaining than trooper drama.âÂ
âDepends on the drama,â I countered, grinning as Alpha rolled his eyes.
---
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Author's Note - This was just a silly one as I worked on characterization for the different commando groups and how they would interact with the ARCs. But it makes me smile when I read it, so here you go!
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As the header says, Rambles are a clone trooper-augmented journal-style writing exercise. The events are true, the clone troopers are only visible to me.
Warnings: bad mood, me not being a very good roommate or friend.
---
Bad Mood
âOkay, consider this your first and only warning,â I announced, drawing the attention of my roommates and all the troopers hanging out in my apartment that day. âIâm in a terrible mood and itâs not getting better. Iâm going to keep to myself, but thereâs a strong chance Iâm going to end up yelling at someone today. I'm sorry and Iâll apologize again afterward, but I wanted to get this conversation out of the way.â
With that said, I turned around and went back into my room. Being in a bad mood already sucked, but I especially hated it when I couldnât figure out why I was upset.Â
Feelings donât have to make sense, I told myself. It didnât help.Â
I had always been very aware of my own feelings and actions. There was a reason for most moods I experienced, especially as someone who was logical to a fault. But this mood had come out of nowhere and didnât have an obvious cause. I hated those - they almost always boiled down to something existential that took a lot of effort to fix.Â
After a few minutes trying to find something I wanted to do, I resigned myself to it. I was well and truly irritated. I could either stay in my room and sulk or I could pick one thing and force myself to do it.Â
At last, I decided to go on a walk. If nothing else, it would get me out of the apartment and away from my roommates. They hadnât done anything wrong, and I wanted to avoid being awful to them if I could help it.
âGoing for a walk,â I explained shortly as I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my keys and left before anyone could say anything.Â
When I had covered a pretty solid distance, I finally paid attention to who was around me. Rex, Boss, Alpha, and Wolffe were trailing a bit behind, but definitely walking with me.Â
âI was serious,â I warned them. âIâm in a shitty mood.â
âWe noticed,â Wolffe replied dryly.Â
âThen why are you here?âÂ
âBecause no one else wanted to be.â Alphaâs blunt answer, delivered in a completely flat tone, was still harsh nonetheless.
Boss cleared his throat softly. âThe four of us have seen worse. If you yell, you yell. We know we can handle whatever you end up saying or doing.â
That somehow managed to make me feel worse. I started to jog, trying to clear my mind of everything but the rhythm of my muscles working as I propelled myself along.
But, of course, that was the description of running I had read in a book. In reality, jogging sucked and I was immediately out of breath. Still, I pushed through it because the burning in my lungs almost felt good in my current state of mind.Â
The troopers easily kept pace with me as I ran. When I finally slowed into a walk, they slowed as well, none of them breathing nearly as hard as I was by that point.Â
âI thought you said jogging was the most socially acceptable form of self-hatred?â Rex checked.Â
I chuckled - partially at my own wit, but mostly at the judgmental looks of Boss and Alpha. Wolffe, who had heard me say that before, just ignored all of us.Â
âI still stand by that,â I told him. âBut I just needed to.â
âAnd now?â Boss asked.Â
âWell, Iâm not ready to go back home,â I mused. âIâm going to walk a little longer, try to figure out whatâs wrong.â
They didn't argue, so I kept walking. I didn't bother making conversation and I left my phone in my pocket. I didnât want any distractions. In the nebulousness of walking and not thinking, a profound dread fell over me. I had taken an extra day off, but my long weekend was ending and I had to go back to work tomorrow.Â
âI need a new job,â I realized, my surprise prompting me to say it aloud.Â
âWhat?â Rex asked when I didnât follow the statement with anything else.
âI think thatâs why Iâm irritated,â I explained. âI dread going back to work. Iâm bored with it and donât want to go. Thatâs not the way I want to live my life.â
âI thought you loved that job,â Boss countered.Â
âNo, I do,â I agreed. âI donât want to leave it, but I thrive on a challenge. It was fine when I was working and going to school at the same time, but now that Iâve graduated, I need something more. I love what I do, but itâs just⌠itâs not enough anymore.â
âMaybe youâre angry because youâre angry,â Alpha suggested. âDoesnât have to be anything more than that.â
I started shaking my head even before he had finished making his point. As soon as I said it out loud, I knew this was the cause of my bad mood. If this was something my subconscious was telling me I should do, I needed to get it done.
Before I could tell them some variation of that, Wolffe spoke up. âNo, sheâs been this way for a while. She said something about it months ago.â He gave a sidelong glance at me. âIf thatâs what you need to do, what are you waiting for?â
âJust to get back home,â I answered, feeling suddenly determined.
---
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Author's Note - This marks Alpha's debut in these Rambles! Figures he'd appear when I'm feeling the most grumpy.
Thanks for reading! You can find other works on my masterlist or sign up for my taglist here. (Remember, you can ask to be removed from the taglist at any time, just message me!)
Real life. Real situations. Imaginary clone troopers.
Warnings: Mentions of nervous tics, mentions of nervousness, references to clone trooper culture, avoidance, emotions.
---
Tics
I was looking at the screen of my laptop. My stare was hard enough that it was starting to make my eyes ache, but I wasnât seeing it, not really. It was just a convenient backdrop for the intensity of my thoughts.Â
âWhat is it?â Kix asked.Â
I glanced over at him, already frowning. I was pretty sure no one had spoken in at least ten minutes, and I definitely hadnât. âWhat is what?âÂ
âWhy are you biting the inside of your cheek?â he asked, pointing vaguely at my face.Â
I dropped my hand down into my lap. âI donât know what youâre talking about.âÂ
âLiar,â Crosshair said.Â
âYou always bite the inside of your lips and cheeks when youâre stressed,â Hound added. âGrizzer does the same thing, except he chews on his leg.â
Grizzer was undeniably adorable, but being compared to a massiff was less than flattering. âI donât-â
âItâs a nervous tic,â Kix interrupted. âMost people have one. Or a few. Perfectly normal.â
âThen why point it out?â I asked, feeling inexplicably flustered.Â
âBecause it means youâre nervous about something,â Hound explained helpfully.Â
âOr feeling more stress than usual.â Kix shrugged as he delivered that addition, apparently choosing to ignore my gaping.Â
âThat isnât-âÂ
âYou always do that,â Crosshair cut in, no remorse in his expression or tone. âEnough that most of us have noticed.âÂ
The quote about the âmortifying ordeal of being knownâ went through my mind as I frowned at everyone. âOkay, sure. Letâs say that is a nervous tic of mine. Why havenât you mentioned it before?âÂ
âWeâre supposed to talk about every weird thing you do?â Crosshair asked loftily.Â
âWell⌠noâŚâ I admittedly slowly. That sounded remarkably close to hell, honestly.Â
âYou also bite your nails.âÂ
âThank you, Hound,â I told him, giving my most sarcastic smile.Â
âAnd thereâs the fake smile,â Kix summarized. When he caught the look I was giving him, he sighed. âWhen you share a face with most of an army, you start to pick up on expressions and behaviors to identify people instead of features. Thatâs my theory, anyway. It means troopers are observant to a fault, even when weâre around nat-borns instead of other troopers.âÂ
Irritated as I was with the conclusion, I had to admit that Kixâs theory made sense. Not out loud, though. Instead, I asked, âWas there a point to this exploration of my quirks?âÂ
âYeah,â Crosshair said, jerking his chin toward the screen of my computer. âWhat has you so nervous?âÂ
âIâŚâ Deep breath, glance at the screen to check that I hadnât misunderstood. âI got a job offer.â
âThatâs great!â Kix cheered.
âCongratulations!â Hound told me with a broad smile.
âWhy are you nervous about that?â Crosshair asked.Â
At the same time, Kixâs smile turned to a frown. âHave you told the captain yet?âÂ
âNo.â
âThere it is,â Hound muttered.
I was feeling defensive all of a sudden. âHang on, I just got the email. How would I have already told him?âÂ
Three fingers pointing at wrist and forearm comlinks were held up almost simultaneously and I sighed. âOkay, sure. Iâll tell him, obviously, but I want to do it in my own time.â
âWhat are you waiting for?â Kix asked. âAre you still trying to decide if you want to accept the job?â
âNo, Iâm taking it,â I dismissed immediately. âI agonized over whether I was going to apply, remember? That was when I did the soul-searching and decision-making. This is what I ultimately decided on doing, and Iâm not going to turn down the thing I decided to do. That doesnât make sense.â
âAdd it to the list,â Crosshair muttered.
âIf you know youâre going to take the job, why are you hesitating?â Hound asked, leaning his elbow on his helmet where it rested on the floor beside him. âYou already did the part that makes most people nervous.âÂ
âThis is⌠the last moment before- Well, before everything changes,â I explained haltingly. It wasnât incredibly clear as explanations went, but it was the best I could offer. âRight now, Iâm balancing on the edge between life going on as it has and it changing completely. I already decided that I donât want things to stay the same, but I⌠I want to exist in this moment for a little while longer. Give myself the opportunity to look back before I close the door.âÂ
âTake as long as you need,â Rex said kindly.Â
I swore as everyone else saluted. âHow much did you hear?âÂ
âEverything,â Rex admitted with a shrug. âI keep telling you that you should install an alarm system.âÂ
âNo alarm system on the planet will go off when someone steps through a door!â I argued.Â
âCongratulations,â he said instead of continuing the argument.
I deflated. âThank you. I just need a little time before I get back to them. As you know from sneaking around.â
âWhen I said you should take your time, I meant it,â Rex told me, gaze steady. âTheyâre getting an excellent worker with the brains to keep up with whatever they throw your way. Theyâll wait for an answer just hoping it will be a yes.â
As emotionally fragile as I was at the moment, my eyes got a little watery at that quiet encouragement.Â
âNow look what you did!â Hound said, scrambling to his feet.Â
Crosshair frowned harshly at me. âStop that right now.âÂ
My laugh was a little shaky, but I blinked the worst of it away.Â
Kix shook his head. âI think you should just let it out.âÂ
âNo,â I refused, echoed in unison by the other three troopers. I made a face at them. âI think that was enough of a moment after all. Things are going to change, but Iâm okay with that. I think Iâm ready.â
---
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Author's Note: I know I talk a lot about how out-of-order these are posted, but I have been working this job for over a year. Just in case that offers some additional perspective!
Because everything is a little more interesting with imaginary clone troopers hanging around.
Warnings: Frustration about post-surgery recovery (long-term).
---
Singing Again
âThanks for listening! Weâll see you guys next time.â
The podcast ended and flipped immediately to the next song on the playlist. Rex eyed me from the passenger seat.Â
It had been months since the surgery. I could speak normally again - as long as I wasnât talking for an extended period of time - but singing was still out of my reach. I had been fixating on this podcast when I was driving or doing mindless work around the house.Â
But that day, I hadnât loaded another episode of the podcast to play. I didnât like messing with my phone overly much while I drove, especially to do something as involved as finding the right episode and adding it to my queue. And the weather had decided to go from sunny to a torrential downpour in the last few minutes, so my concentration was firmly fixed on the road.Â
And so I let the song play. It was Ella Fitzgeraldâs Dream a Little Dream of Me, a song I had loved for as long as I could remember. I had a similar vocal range as Ella in that particular song, and it always gave me chills to hear her beautiful voice dance up and down the notes.
We drove in a cocoon of quiet - Louis Armstrongâs trumpet and Ella Fitzgeraldâs voice filling the car as the rain drummed on the roof and windows. Rexâs attention was on the road ahead. Boss was watching the scenery fly by from the back seat and Trapper seemed to be nodding off in beside him.
âBut in your dreams, whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.â
The words had burst from me in a uncontainable stream and I was horrified⌠until I realized that I sounded okay. Not just okay; I had actually hit the correct notes!
I laughed delightedly as the troopers swiveled their attention to me. As Louis and Ella scatted back and forth in the background, I asked, âDid you guys hear that? I think my voice is back!â
âWe heard,â Boss told me.Â
Rex nodded. âThat sounded great.â
Trapper waved me on. âKeep going!âÂ
âSweet dreams⌠til sunbeams find you, keep dreaming
Leave the worries behind you
But in your dreams, whatever they be
Youâve gotta make me a promise
Promise to me
Youâll dream
Dream a little dream of meâ
The song ended, fading into nothingness. My smile was so wide that my cheeks were starting to ache, but I couldnât have been happier.Â
âHow do you feel?â Rex asked.Â
âLight,â I answered without thinking. Then, when I realized that didnât make a lot of sense, I added, âI feel like I could fly the rest of the way home.âÂ
âYou look like it, too,â Boss said. âHappy for you, kid.âÂ
I kept smiling as Trapper leaned forward to pat me on the shoulder. I felt so good that I wasnât even going to object to being called âkidâ.
---
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Author's Note - As a reminder, I write these a long time before I ever post them. This moment happened quite a few months ago, but it was a delight to revisit. Thank you for reading!
Warnings: minor road rage, minor language, some grumpiness, vague mentions of objectification
---
Alpha Comic Book
I swore loudly as a car pulled out in front of me, easily drive ten miles an hour under what I had been going before. I braked, grumbling at how unfair it all was.Â
âAre you in that big a hurry?â Echo asked. âI thought you didnât have much to do tonight.âÂ
âI donât,â I agreed, âbut I got an email a couple of hours ago. My package was delivered!â
An uncomfortable silence fell at that, leaving Hardcaseâs cackle loud and mischievous. âWhat is it this time? No - wait! Donât tell me! I want it to be a surprise.âÂ
âIsnât it always?â Stoneâs dry tone made me grin.Â
It seemed that Hardcase was the only one who appreciated my⌠eclectic sense of things to order online. Sometimes, I got useful things, like clothes. Other times, I bought something that caught my eye, like the set of miniature paintings of objects in space. As long as I could afford it and it made me happy, I reasoned, there was no reason not to indulge in an occasional purchase.
âI wasnât going to tell you anyway,â I said loftily. âThis one definitely needs to be a surprise.âÂ
Someone groaned, and I couldnât quite tell who it was.Â
We got home and I rushed to my front door, mildly panicked when I didnât see anything waiting outside. I pulled out my phone to text my roommates and saw that I had a message from Cole: Hey, something was delivered for you right before I left for work. I took it inside. Itâs on the counter.Â
That relief made me relax as I unlocked the door and walked inside.Â
The brown paper envelope on the counter looked like a present waiting to be opened, and I couldnât wait until after my shower to open it. I was careful as I slipped the scissors between the flap of the envelope and the main body of it, then tipped it to let the object slide out without risking a wrinkle.
Star Wars Republic: On Hostile Ground, the cover proclaimed. The people shown on the front were overshadowed by the hands holding lightsabers in the foreground, and I started to get a little nervous. I had done a ton of research to find comics featuring Alpha-17 and all of them had said this was one, but why were there a bunch of Jedi and mercenaries on the cover?
With shaking fingers, I peeled up the sticky edge of the protective cover for the comic book and let it slide out into my hands. When I opened it to a random page, I was greeted by a picture of Alpha. He wasnât wearing his armor there, but it was clearly him. I relaxed again.Â
âOh,â Echo said, peering over my shoulder. âOh, no.â
Rex glanced over and shook his head, a grim look on his face. âDoes anyone know when heâs supposed to be here?âÂ
âA few hours,â Stone reported. âHeâs taking the late night to early morning guard shift tonight.âÂ
I carefully put the comic book back in the original package and went to take a shower.Â
Reading it took far less time than I had expected, but I wasnât used to reading comic books. I would have to read it again later, when I could remember to focus as much on the illustrations as on the dialogue bubbles.Â
But as I was finishing my first read-through, a massive figure settled beside me. âIs that me.âÂ
He hadnât phrased it as a question, but I nodded at Alpha anyway. âYeah, itâs you. Youâre pretty badass here.â I turned to the last page and pointed to a new panel. âAnd look at this one! You look so⌠stoic.âÂ
âI look like Iâm done taking Kenobiâs shit,â Alpha corrected. âAt least thatâs accurate.â
âBetter this picture than some of the earlier ones,â I muttered.Â
âAnd that means?â I didnât answer and Alpha nudged me with his shoulder. âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
âI meant that you spent a lot of time shirtless in this issue.â I flipped back a few pages and held it up. âThese are the panels I thought youâd object to.â
Alpha was quiet as he studied the pictures in question. The comic book version of him was wearing a vest and holding two giant blasters, but everything else above the waist was left visible for the viewer.
âI think they left out some of my muscles,â he commented and I could only sputter a laugh as he walked away.
---
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Author's Note - I love that comic book. My poor roommates had to listen to me talk about it and show off all the panels with Alpha... Good times!
Reminder that there is no longer a taglist for any of my works! They'll all be posted here and tagged with the story name. Feel free to blacklist any tags you don't want to see, and thanks for reading!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Part fiction, part writing exercise, part journal.
Warnings: mentions of rollercoasters and other theme park attractions, mentions of nausea, mentions of overheating, brief mentions of vomiting.
---
Theme Park
âThat was disgusting,â Rex decreed, nose wrinkling at the apparent offense.
âDisgusting?â I echoed. âItâs fine if you donât like roller-coasters, but disgusting? That seems like youâre taking it a little far.âÂ
âNo, captainâs right,â Tup told me. He was looking a little sickly. âThat was worse than landing in a warzone.âÂ
âThatâs not possible.â Maybe it was, how would I know? But it certainly didnât sound like the truth.Â
âItâs very possible.â Rex leaned against a wall, studying me with censure. âArenât you even slightly dizzy?âÂ
âUm, no?â I shrugged. âThat corkscrew at the end gets me a little bit, but Iâm past all of that now.âÂ
âYouâd fit right in with Skywalker and the 501st,â Cody told me, catching up to us. He had stayed behind to browse the gift shop - his typical excuse when he wanted to scope out the candy selection.
Rex groaned, but narrowed his eyes in the next moment. âSpeaking of⌠Where is everyone?âÂ
âWell, Tup is there,â I explained, pointing. âFives and Hardcase stayed back to ride the coaster again-â
âA few more times,â Cody interrupted. âThey were going on ride number four when I left.â
âSounds about right.â I couldnât help but laugh, both at the idea of the pair of adrenaline junkies and at the horrified look on Rexâs face. âI donât know where anyone else is. Iâm going to get a soft pretzel and a bottle of water if anyoneâs hungry?âÂ
Rex shook his head and Tup only held up a hand, but Boost, Hunter, and Stone stood eagerly. Behind them, Thorn asked, âDo they have ice cream?âÂ
âItâs a theme park in the summertime,â I told him. âIâm positive theyâll have ice cream.âÂ
âIâm in,â Thorn agreed, leading the group. I gave a last helpless look at Rex and followed the crowd to the nearest snack booth.Â
When I got back, I offered Rex my unopened water bottle. âYou really will feel better if you can drink some water. Just drink it slowly and let it settle between sips.âÂ
Rex accepted the water bottle - as usual, a ghostly afterimage of the one I still held seemed to be in his hand. As I watched, he unscrewed the top and took a sip, then another. Slowly but surely, he drained half of the bottle as I alternated between drinks of water and bites of salty pretzel.Â
âHow are you feeling now?â I asked, shortly before shoving the rest of the pretzel in my mouth.Â
âNot⌠bad, actually,â Rex admitted. He seemed suspicious about his own lack of nausea, which made me smile. âHow did you know that was all it took?âÂ
I laughed despite myself. âI worked out in this heat for years. If thereâs one thing I know, itâs how to recognize the difference between being hot, having heat exhaustion, and having heatstroke. You were somewhere between the first two.â
âIâm used to the climate control systems in the armor,â he admitted.Â
âJealous.â I took another drink of water and thought about it. âIf I had armor that would keep me from freezing or overheating, I would never take it off.âÂ
Beside us, Tup took a deep swig of his own water. Even as he swallowed it, his face took on a sickly look and he clapped a hand over his mouth. Before anyone could ask him about it, he rushed off to vomit on the nearest bush.Â
âYeah, thatâs the other possible outcome,â I admitted. âWater will either make you feel better or - if you drink it too fast - will make you throw up.â
Rex gave me a disbelieving look. âRemind me not to take advice from you anymore.âÂ
âThatâs rude!â Rex didnât seem to care about my offense, so I finished my water and stood. âIâm going to console myself on the spinning teacups.âÂ
Two steps toward the ride in question, I paused to watch Wrecker, Jesse, and Scorch fly past. They were spinning so quickly that all I could see was the motion blur of the car. Really, the groupâs laughter was all that told me who it was.Â
âOn second thought,â I hedged, changing directions mid-step, âI havenât been on the swings yet.â
---
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Author's Note - Guess who got to go to a theme park this summer? I love rollercoasters! Others have... mixed opinions. Thanks for reading and happy Friday!
You can sign up for my taglist here. As always, let me know if you want to be removed from the taglist!
The only way I could convince myself to journal regularly is to add some clone troopers into the mix.
Warnings: mentions of stress and job interviews.
---
The Interview
I took a very necessary moment to fix my hair, arranging it in a manner that I hoped would look casual yet professional. One last smile in the mirror to check that there was nothing in my teeth. (My recent brushing should have made that a ânoâ, but it was better to be sure.) When everything was as perfect as I could make it, I stepped out of the bathroom.Â
My computer was already set up on Travisâs desk, perfectly framed by the bookshelf and plant behind it. I had plugged it into the charger in case things took longer than expected, and the meeting invitation was on the screen, waiting to be clicked.Â
âSo, youâre really doing this,â Rex commented as I sat down in Travisâs chair and smoothed my button-down shirt.Â
âThere was doubt?â I asked archly.Â
He shrugged. âJust seems a little sudden.âÂ
âI realize youâve been around for a while and you already know how things work,â I conceded. âBut hereâs something Iâve realized about the way I make decisions: I agonize over the choice for so long that, when Iâve made it, Iâm all in.âÂ
âYou have been talking about this for a while,â Cody pointed out. âItâs not arbitrary.âÂ
I nodded gratefully at him. The decision to find a new job hadnât been one I took lightly. I had considered every option - Do I actually want a new job, or a different one in the same company? What happens if I regret it? Is this new company worth working for? How would getting this job impact my life? Would I be able to handle it? Is this something I want long term? - discussed it with my roommates and trusted family members, then finally applied.Â
Even after I had applied, there were other requirements to fulfill: a barrage of personality tests, logic tests, tests to see whether I would be able to learn the intricacies of the companyâs software, tests to find out whether I would fit in with the companyâs culture⌠Somehow, I had passed them all. Well, I assumed I had, since I had finally gotten an interview. Then another.
This was to be my final interview, one with the manager and supervisor who I would be working with directly.Â
âYou nervous?â Alpha asked.Â
I shrugged. âNot especially. I actually won an award in school for interviewing.â
âInterviewing?â Rex asked, frowning deeply. âThere was a contest for that?âÂ
âYeah, it was weird,â I admitted. âThey pulled judges from local businesses. One of them said some pretty horrible things to me, trying to get me flustered or make me break down. It didnât work.â
Cody crossed his arms. âHow old were you?â
âI donât really remember. Fifteen or so?âÂ
No one seemed happy about that. I fiddled with my computer, wiping the camera lens and adjusting the googly eyes I had stuck on either side of it. They had helped me hold âeye contactâ instead of staring at my screen during virtual presentations in college, and I hoped they would do the same for job interviews.Â
âYou can still back out,â Rex reminded me.Â
I thought about it, I really did. This was something new, something unknown. Not only was it a new job, it was a new industry. It was a little scary, but what was the alternative? Going back to my current job for another week? Another month? Another year? I shuddered.Â
âYou can try for a different job with the same company,â Rex added, unaware of my internal monologue. âYou like working for them. Theyâve been good to you.âÂ
âI tried that, remember?â I pointed out. âI applied for seven jobs with them. Seven. And I was perfectly qualified for all of âem.â Cody opened his mouth and I nodded. âExcept that one. Yeah, I remember. But my point stands. I didnât even get to the first round of interviews. If Iâm not what theyâre looking for, thatâs fine. But I have a degree and I want to use it. More importantly, I need something new. Does that⌠make sense?âÂ
I hated how hesitant I sounded. Hated how hesitant I felt. But no matter how much I had thought it all over, I was worried this was a stupid decision. Maybe Rex was seeing something I had missed.
âIt does make sense,â he assured me. âIf youâre really set on this⌠Then get to it. Youâve got this.âÂ
When I glanced down, I found that it was indeed time for my interview to start. I flashed a quick smile at Rex, Cody, and Alpha, then started the video call.
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Author's Note - Slightly older Ramble, but one that plays heavily into the ones I'm writing more recently.
As a side note, I'm always willing to discuss interviewing if people need advice! I have a lot of useless knowledge about job interviews and resumes, and I like helping people get the jobs they want.
Imaginary Friends, grown-up version. (Not in a weird or inappropriate way.)
For those who aren't familiar, Rambles are a journal-ish writing exercise, but with clone troopers peppered in, both to keep things interesting and to take the place of my subconscious.
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Bubbles
âThereâs a lot of stuff about civvie life that makes no sense,â Fives complained, peering suspiciously at a cloud of bubbles as he carefully avoided walking through them.Â
âLike bubbles?â I guessed silently, smiling at the child who didnât want to surrender the wand to get more bubble solution. His mother gave me a commiserating eye roll, which only made me chuckle aloud.Â
âYeah, whatâs the point?â Fives continued, gesturing expansively. âThey donât do anything.â
âIt is likely that they are-â Techâs explanation was cut short when he made a strangled noise. âI believe I just ingested one.â
âItâs just soap,â I reminded him. âYouâll be fine.â
âThe taste is unpleasant,â he said, still grimacing.Â
âYeah, thatâs fair.â
Boss frowned at him. âHow did you manage to eat one? Weâre not solid.â
âNeither are they,â Tup pointed out.Â
âI bet I can eat more than anyone else!â Hardcase challenged, planting himself in front of the bubble-blowers.Â
âI⌠I think you might not find anyone else to take you up on that, âCase,â Fives told him.Â
âFine, then Iâll just set the record,â Hardcase compromised.Â
âNo you wonât!â Wrecker denied, pushing him out of the way and taking his place.Â
I laughed at the strange picture they made and kept walking. It was a good day for a walk, the sun pouring down and glinting off the surface of the pond I was circling. There were enough trees to find shade if we needed it and the wind over the water was refreshing. The fact that there were troopers surrounding me was only another facet of the experience.Â
âThe kid asked a good question, though,â Boss said, hooking his thumb at Fives.
Fives, for his part, looked offended at that. âKid? Iâm not a kid.â
Boss shrugged. âYounger than me. But whatâs the reason behind bubbles? They seem like a waste of resources.â
By this point of exposure to the troopers, I knew enough to side-step and avoid Techâs excited interruption. Sure enough, he caught back up with us and began to gleefully answer Bossâs question:Â
âI believe it is a form of training to help children develop the proper lung strength. Notice that most of those playing with the bubbles are young children. It is logical to conclude that-â
âLogical,â I agreed, âand interesting, but unlikely. Bubbles are a novelty, an amusement. People play with them because itâs fun.â
Tech blinked. âThen that is certainly a waste of resources.â
âSometimes, a little waste isnât necessarily a bad thing,â I suggested. âSuch a small amount of soap goes into making the bubble solution and it brings a lot of joy to people. Maybe the lung strength is a good side effect, but there are more efficient ways of doing that. I think, for all of the joy they bring people, a little wasted soap is worth it for the bubbles.â
The two troopers took a moment to process that before Boss snorted. âNatties. No amount of waste is a good thing.â
âI donât make the rules, kid.â
Bossâs shoulders tensed as I struggled not to laugh. âDonât call me kid.â
âYounger than me,â I told him blithely. âThatâs the rule, right?â
The sigh Boss gave was enough to finally push me into laughter.
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Author's Note - I hope everyone's having a great day! You can sign up for my taglist here or find other works on my masterlist.