"Because I look at life as retouching. Makeup, clothes, are just an accessorization of your being, they are just a transformation of what you want to look like" - Collins in 'Pixel Perfect'
“You know when you get a really good haircut, and you feel like the best version of yourself? This is that feeling, but exponential.” - Tolentino in 'The Age of Instagram Face'
Reading pixel perfect felt like an unsolicited trip to an uncomfortable question. Where does 'over-refining' begin, and 'feeling like your best self' end? The article introduced me to Dangin, who is not someone I would've otherwise known by name – but someone who I'm sure has contributed in making me feel 'a kind of bottomless need that I associated with early adolescence. It reminds me of this article, which I read while in my undergraduate, when I was throroughly upset with a photo someone had taken of me.
That's been a pervasive feeling, of not feeling like candid shots of me in the routines of daily life ever come out as 'good as they should'. While reading the previous article, I stumbled upon this other article, which suggested that fashion magazine editors maintain the idea that what they put out is not taken at face value (pun intended). I however, disagree. Even if the logical part of my brain knows that someone 50 years old isn't looking like a 24 year old in real life; or that if I sit in a relaxed state, my hips and shoulder blades won't stick out at exceptional angles and capture light in the most balanced way, that's where the impact of photography is so different from any other form of art. In the way that we grown up to consume media, I am able to discount a beautiful painting, a lovely description, or an eloquent song by thinking that the artist has taken liberties to 'cover up any blemishes' and present an ideal version of what they were imagining when creating their art. In photography however, we do not lend ourselves that wide lens – photos stick to our mind as they are.
Adding to this insidious cause, I look at Dangin's work not as aesthetic creation as much as being part of the problem. He admits as much himself: 'He admitted that he was complicit in perpetuating unrealistic images of the human body, but said, “I’m just giving the supply to the demand” '.
This also lends to larger idea of the 'male gaze' in film and photography. While reading Collins, I can't help but think of what Dangin visualizes when he sees a photo of a person that needs to be retouched. When reading the article, I did not see why the Demarchelier photo had anything 'wrong' about it, until the edited version came along. Much is telling about Dangin's psyche also in that he refers to blemishes and blips as 'anomalies'.
The fact that by the end of researching for the article, Tolentino started feeling self-conscious, even though she was perfectly healthy, is disquieting. It also made me think how much of my life have I spent not living life as me, but going through the motions as if someone was always observing my every single move. The answer was unsettling, because most if not all my memories of my life seem to be in the third-person.
So much for aesthetic.
