#cix fluff

But maybe it had been a bit too long since you had talked to a guy. Or, perhaps it was the alcohol running through your system. You weren’t drunk yet, just slightly tipsy, making your impulses stronger than usual. Without fully thinking, you trained onto those dark eyes, legs having a mind of their own as they led you over to the man that they belonged to.

Black hair framed his face, slightly long, falling over his cheeks in silky ebony strands. A faint tinge of pink adorned his cheeks as well, evidence of his similar tipsy state. His eyes followed you closely as you walked across the room, your heart drumming in your chest a bit faster as you approached him. He was nothing short of gorgeous.

God, what were you doing?

“Hi, I saw you were sitting alone,” you said simply, even as your brain screamed at you for doing it. This was not the goal you had for this party. The man crossed his arms, a slight smirk falling on his lips at your words. 

“Bold move for a woman like yourself,” he tilted his head, looking up with overflowing charisma. Despite the flirtatious tone, there was something in his gaze that felt welcoming. 

“I hope the move isn’t unwelcome.”

“Not at all. Tonight has been boring. Finding a beautiful stranger to talk to sounds like a pleasant change of pace. Shall we find somewhere quiet?” 

His offer buzzed in your brain, and part of it told you that you should make some excuse to leave now on instinct. Were you really about to run a risk with a complete stranger while drunk? No matter how pretty he was, how well-spoken he had been so far, or how his eyes continued to draw you in closer, it still seemed like an absurd thing to agree to.

“Please,” your whisper was barely heard, yet he seemed to pick up on it regardless. He offered you his hand as he stood up, and you took it without another thought. He winded through the maze of rooms in the house, careful to not disturb the many couples who had also snuck away from the loud party downstairs. 

Although your friends still frequented events like this, ever since you stopped dating, you had only been to one or two. It had certainly been a while since you had been one of the people sneaking away. You didn’t miss it. While the partying was fun, it wasn’t entirely your pace. But depending on how well you hit it off with the handsome stranger, perhaps tonight would become worth it after all.

Finally finding an empty room, you both slipped in. With the door left open just a crack, the noise from downstairs was muffled significantly. 

“I’m Jinyoung, by the way,” he said, brushing a hand through his long hair. 

“Y/n,” you responded, sitting down on the edge of the bed in the room. 

“You seemed quite bored down there,” Jinyoung pointed out, sitting down beside you.

“And you seemed quite lonely for having a face like yours.” The comment was bold, doubtless, but you seemed to be on a streak tonight. Jinyoung smiled again, eyes teasing you endlessly.

“I was a bit too distracted by yours the moment you walked through the door to notice anyone else,” he replied effortlessly. “Why did you approach me?” 

You hesitated for a minute. Would it seem too desperate if you told him the truth? That you hadn’t talked to a man in almost two years and wanted to fill whatever void was left in your heart with him. Maybe you were just bored, or drunk, or saw a pretty man and wanted to take your chance. Or maybe there was some deeper attraction that you felt, maybe something more about him that kept drawing you in. 

“I wanted someone to kiss tonight,” you lied. It wasn’t the real reason you had approached him, but it was a suitable excuse (and one you were happy to take part in). You were still too embarrassed to reveal the truth about your dating history, or how much he truly was affecting you by just his words. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and a swarm of excitement pooled in your stomach. It was just because you were unused to so much attention, right? 

Whatever it was, the answer seemed to satisfy him enough.

“Let me not disappoint you then,” his words were sultry and inviting. His eyes glimmering in a way that tantalized you. And you found yourself leaning into him quickly, finding his soft lips before another second passed. 

The kiss was slow at first, careful and controlled. You were getting used to the feeling after so long, trying to calm your racing heart. Jinyoung seemed to be holding back. Although clearly enjoying it, his hands were still firmly planted on the mattress. You took the first move to deepen the kiss, slinking a hand up to his dark hair, pulling through the strands. You could taste the cherry alcohol he had been drinking, swiping your tongue over his lips, gaining access to his mouth. 

He sighed in content, hands finally finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer. You hadn’t been entirely sure where your actions would lead you. But you couldn’t say you were disappointed with where you were now. Jinyoung’s touch was electric, and the taste of his lips was slowly making you addicted. So much that you were nearly crestfallen when his lips finally slowed after minutes of kissing you. But you let him separate from you, catch his breath, and wipe his swollen lips. 

His face was noticeably more flushed than before, but you were almost positive you looked even worse. Barely focused on catching your own breath, you could only stare at him with a look of love, swaying towards him in search of his lips again before you could stop yourself. He chuckled, stopping you before you could quite connect your lips again. 

“Sweetheart, I smudged your lipstick,” he mumbled, perhaps with a bit too much fondness addressing a stranger he had just met 15 minutes ago. You were in a trance as he brushed his thumb over the side of your lip, wiping away any of the lipstick that had moved out of place. He didn’t stop there, adjusting your hair as well, tucking a strand behind your ear.

“There. Now you can kiss me again.”

She’s not at this party, too embarrassed to show her face after being dumped by the school playboy, San. You’d feel bad but she kinda deserved it after bragging to everyone how she bagged him. And if she went with you, she’d make it such a huge deal when you want to lay low. You came to this party for one reason after all…to find Bae Jinyoung.

Once again, something you never thought you’d be doing. Jinyoung is the complete opposite of you in every way. Always partying, and getting high, his list of cons goes on and on. But when you were paired up with him to tutor in a last-ditch effort to not get expelled, you didn’t expect to grow so close to him. And maybe you’ve grown to have a soft spot for him.

He had to retake his final exam due to a stomach bug (he was hungover, but you decided not to let his professor know that fact) and you were told his test results early. He had passed after months of hard work, and you were too excited to keep it from him. 

You called him first, and he picked up, but he was clearly drunk, living it up at what you heard was the last party of the year. And against your better judgement, you decided to go tell him the good news in person, perhaps after getting him a little more sober. And you’re maybe a little stupid, hoping he would come sweep you off your feet and kiss you senseless, but a girl can dream. Maybe when you tell him the good news, he’ll lift you and swing you around just like in all your romance books and fall in love.

You’re once again reminded of just how out of place you are as you weave through the crowd. As you look around, you can’t help but be amused at how you must look so lost. You’re not looking where you’re going properly and you bump into a broad chest.

When you look up, you’re met with the furrowed brows of the other Jinyoung of the college, Park Jinyoung, recognisable from his stone-cold features and his signature turtleneck. The only thing he shares with your Jinyoung is the name. Whereas your Jinyoung was mixed up in all sorts of trouble, ranging from drugs to drinking to sex, Park Jinyoung kept to himself, except for this one girl he seemed to have conflicted feelings for. You’ve seen him look at her like she made the stars, only to push her away when she turns her attention towards him. And case in point, when you mutter out a sorry he barely pays attention to you, muttering her name under his breath. Looks like you’re not the only one looking for someone tonight.

You try and ask around a bit, and while some classmates do their best to narrow down Bae Jinyoung’s location for you despite their inebriated state, most of them are just too shell-shocked to see you here and they can’t mask their confusion.

“YN? I didn’t expect to see you here.” A familiar voice catches your attention and you turn to see Choi San standing before you, his hair ruffled and his signature smile on his face. There’s a hint of sadness in his eyes, but you don’t know him well enough to enquire about it.

“Ah, hello, San. I hope you’re doing well after…all that’s happened.” It’s no secret that San broke up with Yeseul because of his roommate. To your credit, you manage to hold back your curiosity and instead just ask him a question pertaining a bit more to your own dilemma. “Have you seen Jinyoung? Bae, not Park.”

San shrugs. “I’m doing well, yes. I can’t stay long, but I think I saw Jinyoung near the living room. It’s through there, you can’t miss it. Lots of couches…and lots of people kissing.”

You absolutely miss the warning tone in his voice, but your heart is already beating a little too fast for your own good at the idea of seeing Jinyoung again. “All right, thanks San!” You start walking the other way, but something nags at you and you spin around, calling out his name before he steps away. “And San…I want to apologise for Yeseul. You should go for your friend. She looks at you the same way.”

There’s a moment’s pause, then San quirks his lips at you. “Thanks, YN. I think I will. Good luck with Jinyoung.”

You laugh and salute him before turning back to continue on your way. With each step, you can feel excitement rush past your ears. You know it’s a horrible idea, but you’ve grown fond of Jinyoung. Maybe it was how all the rumours surrounding him were less than satisfactory, but he never showed you anything but kindness and quietness when you tutored him. Maybe it was the way he leapt at any chance to talk about football to you, and how his smile would light up any room.

And maybe it was when he finally convinced you to let loose and take a study break with him, you found out he kisses gently, large hands cupping your face as his breath puffs over your lips. His touches are soft, ghosting over your waist as you sit beside him, and you feel special.

“Jinyoung–” you call out, entering the room San had pointed out to you, but you stop dead in your tracks. You’ve found him. Bae Jinyoung, sitting on the couch, a girl in his lap and his tongue deep in her mouth. It’s not nearly as sweetly as he kissed you, and yet your stomach drops. It’s stupid to be hurt, you remind yourself. You stare for a moment longer, eyes glued to how the girl is grinding on him so well and you feel a tightness in your throat you can’t seem to dislodge.

And it’s almost like slow motion when Jinyoung turns his head and makes direct eye contact with you. His mouth drops open, more than it was before and like the coward, you turn tail and run right back out of the room.

You push through the people crowding you and out one of the back doors. In the distance, you can see a figure floundering in the lake, soaking wet, but you can’t be bothered to be curious about the sight. You should’ve known this was going to happen. You catch feelings, and Jinyoung doesn’t, and you make a fool of yourself. How could you be so dumb? It’s clear what happened. You were just another conquest, another prize for him to win.

“YN!” You can hear Jinyoung’s familiar cadence float from the house and you glance back, seeing him try and get to you through the people milling about. “YN wait!”

There’s desperation in his voice, but your brain does not register it and you just turn away, heading towards the line of cars parked far into the grass. You didn’t park there, but it should give you enough cover as you make your way to the next street over where your car actually is.

Your eyes are trained forward, and you refuse to look back even as Jinyoung’s panicked footsteps get closer and closer to you. “YN, please!” You hesitate just for a moment, but it’s long enough for him to catch up to you and grab your arm gently. “Please look at me, YN.”

You turn around, but keep your eyes trained on the ground lest you cry, especially after seeing his face. “What’s up?” It’s almost sick how sweetly your voice sounds as it breaks.

“YN, I’m sorry.” The desperation has not left Jinyoung’s voice, and his hands move to your shoulders, gripping them tightly as if that would convince you he meant no harm. And maybe he didn’t. But it’s not his fault you’ve fallen in love with an unobtainable thought.

“Why are you sorry?” you respond, trying your hardest to keep your voice level, although it tremours just a bit when Jinyoung sucks in a breath. “I can’t stop you from…parties, and kissing. I’m just a nobody.”

Jinyoung shakes his head, his long hair falling in his eyes but he makes no move to brush it away. “You’re anything but a nobody, YN. You’re pretty and perfect, and you have so much going for you. You have a job already lined up, you have plans for your future. I’m the one who’s a nobody.”

You laugh. “We could go around in circles, Jinyoung. You’re not a nobody, not to me. And not to that girl. It’s okay that I’m not who you want me to be. I can only kiss you sweetly, I can’t desire you in the same carnal way she does, no matter how much I want to. And there’s no way you want to waste time teaching me how to not be dumb and innocent.”

Jinyoung frowns, just as pretty as his smile is. “I do, YN. I do, more than you can know. I want to take you on dates and kiss you on the beach. I want to have coffee in the morning with you. I just want to hold you. And I love it when you’re innocent and sweet.”

“But that girl–”

“Screw that girl!” You flinch a little at his volume and Jinyoung pauses, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “We were drunk, and I was just missing you a little too much. It was a mistake. I should’ve have tried to run from my problems. I– when you called me, I should’ve dropped everything and gone to find you, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to let myself want you. But I do.”

You breathe in sharply through your nose. “I don’t want to make you change…” you start to protest carefully, although your resolve is breaking by the second.

Jinyoung shakes his head, leaning in so his face is mere breaths away from yours. “I want to change, YN. So please, let me.”

“I–” Against your better judgement, you look him in the eyes, noticing the shaking wateriness of them. “Okay.”

The tension in Jinyoung’s face pinches before finally dissipating, easing the lines in the skin. “Okay,” he copies you. “Okay. YN, can I kiss you?”

His question comes so suddenly, you swear your heart stopped beating for a moment. You barely get a yes out before Jinyoung’s lips capture yours again. And if you thought your first kiss was sweet, this is a million times sweeter. His hands find their way to the small of your back this time and push you closer to him, your arms naturally finding their way around his lithe shoulders. The movement makes the kiss deepen as his mouth presses eagerly against yours.

“I missed you,” he hums against your lips and you sigh happily.

“Must’ve been hard, benign away from me for a whole five days,” you can’t help but tease and Jinyoung groans good-naturedly.

“Man, you’re so mean to me. What happened to being all nice and innocent?” With a smile, you shove your face into Jinyoung’s neck. Jinyoung bends down to press a kiss to your temple. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I think we’re long overdue a talk.”

you quickly turn your head to the left to look up to him, catching his eyes darting from you back to the television screen. leaning up and placing a quick peck to his chin, you snuggle back into his chest under the large fuzzy blanket you left at his place for moments like this. even before officially dating hyunsuk, you’d catch him staring at you from time to time. whenever you knew he was in the room, if you ever felt eyes on you, you just knew it was him.

it wasn’t long before you felt his eyes on you again, playfully elbowing him as you looked back at him again. this time, he just stared at you dumbfounded. “what was that for?”

“come on, baby.” you respond as you bring your hand up to his cheek. “i can feel when you stare at me.”

the tips of his ears turn red as he smiles innocently, his dimples making an appearance. “you do?”

nodding, you let out a small laugh and peck his lips softly. “we’ve been together long enough, i think i’d know by now.”

hyunsuk points to his lips, tapping his finger on his pouty bottom lip. “that was too quick.”

you shake your head, turning back around and shrugging your shoulders. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

before you knew it, you felt his fingers tickling your sides as he peppered the side of your neck with kisses. your laughs meshed together, bouncing off the wall as you eventually ended up underneath him in defeat as his hands held your wrists down to the wooden floor. for a few moments you both just laughed, dying down to just a chuckle when you both just stared at one another admiringly. slowly, hyunsuk leans into where your faces are mere inches apart with your lips brushing against one another’s ever so lightly.

The Prisoner’s Dilemma is a well known game theory concept applied widely in economics, politics, even sports.

It goes like this: there are two criminals captured by the police that offer each of them a deal to either stay silent or testify against the other in order to lessen their own punishment. The criminals have to decide between these two choices but the outcome also depends on what the other does. If both of them stay silent, each of them gets a year of prison time. If they both testify, they get two. If only one of them testifies, he can walk away free while the other is sentenced for three years.

You were in high school when you first heard about this concept and it left you flabbergasted that the best response is to testify and betray the partner in crime because the consequences of choosing to stay silent would have potentially worse payoff. In game theory it’s called a strictly dominant strategy which means that both parties should choose to follow this strategy for their own interest. It’s the only Nash equilibrium in this hypothetical game because if only one of the criminals changes their strategies and the other doesn’t, they would be at disadvantage. Funny, isn’t it? Mutually staying silent would be overall the best choice (or at least the Pareto efficient one in the language of economics) but since it’s not rational for one’s selfish interests, it’s very unlikely to happen.

That said, you have a Prisoner’s Dilemma on your own too and his name is Kim Yonghee.

Yonghee became the bane of your existence during college orientation four years ago.

Not many people majored in Applied Mathematics, your year only had thirty or so freshmen, most of them guys as expected, yet everybody was floored by this one guy who apparently managed to score the highest CSAT score among all. It didn’t matter that you had the exact same score, not when you weren’t like him: charming with his small smile and pretty features, his voice so honeyed you feared cavities. No wonder he easily became the professors’ favorite too and the most seeked out tutor with his gentle explanations and quiet diligence. No matter what you did, you couldn’t catch up to him. You were always only the second best and you hated that satisfied little smirk in the corner of Yonghee’s mouth whenever he managed to best you time and time again in every debate or when he could solve complex problems quicker than you.

You thought (desperately hoped) that you would get rid of him once you graduate but of course he was one of the twelve people who carried on with masters studies and once again, he was a competition. This time, however, you had no plans on backing out, he couldn’t take everything that you wanted. Not when you planned to apply for the PhD program under the care of Professor Ryu who only took one doctorate student per year, so you had to be the best. You had to ace competitions and write publications on top of your classwork to stand out. Basically you just needed to beat Kim Yonghee.

He made it harder than expected though and not for the reason you would have thought so.

It all started when you were pulling all-nighters to do an assignment for extra credit but you were struggling to find ways to prove a theorem. You had already gone through the most common ways to prove something in mathematics including proving the opposite but to no avail. You came to the point that it might not be provable at all but Professor Ryu had never done you so dirty, so you refused to give up and search it up on Naver whether it’s one of those theorems. Especially because you heard that Yonghee had already handed in his paper.

But then what was he doing at the library around midnight if not to just bother you?

“You should get some sleep. I saw you almost fall asleep three times under a minute,” he said and if you didn’t know any better you would have thought it was concern lacing his words.

“Don’t tell me what to do. I need to finish this,” you muttered, not even looking at him as you tried to blink the tiredness out of your eyes.

“Want some pointers?” Yonghee asked, lingering around your table gingerly and that made you look up at him with a frown. He stood there in his knitted sweater, his hair soft-looking and fluffy, eyes kind and not at all tired despite the late hour.

“Don’t you dare!” You snapped because there is nothing more humiliating than getting help from the enemy.

The boy raised his hands in a defensive manner and turned to leave but before he actually took any step further, he put down a plastic cup of tea on your table, then he left before you could have questioned his intentions. You stared at the cup dumbfounded, realizing that it was not only still hot but your favorite brand and wondered how Yonghee knew that but then again you also knew that he was walking around with a ridiculous amount of iced americanos because you had seen it enough times during the last four years. It shouldn’t have made you feel special.

Ever since then you started to notice small things like that. Like the way Yonghee looks up every time you step into a classroom but looks away swiftly whenever your eyes meet. That he is the only one who has his full attention on you when you are in front of class explaining a solution, not even the professor is looking so closely. Or the way he randomly drops science papers in front of you with open for publication news. You used to think all of it is just to mock you, to prove his superiority once again but suddenly you aren’t so sure.

Especially not after that mental breakdown you had after your latest, most well-crafted article was rejected. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, you had been rejected by papers before but the feedback for this called your deduction and reasoning technique mediocre and that was the last drop in the glass before it spilled because that day was already shitty with your stomach hurting after something spoiled in your lunch and your landlord’s notification about raising the rent next semester. No matter how much you willed yourself not to not show it, the indifferent mask came crumbling down the moment you left the study room and re-read the rejection email.

That was how Yonghee found you, sobbing in the corridor more out of frustration than anything else. Of course he couldn’t just ignore you and walk away, no, he had the nerve to walk up to you and hesitate over touching your shoulder or patting your back but in the end he opted for keeping his hands to himself, hiding them in his jeans pockets.

“Uhm… do you need anything?” He asked, strained, almost too gently. You hated how sincere he sounded.

“Leave me alone,” you muttered, short-tempered through your silent tears. Your voice turned desperate though. “Please.”

You could tell Yonghee stalled and you wanted to snap at him once more for making you feel so small, so humiliated. But then he quietly passed you a pack of tissues and said:

“Allergy season is a real pain in the ass, isn’t it?” He asked as if you didn’t know he was smarter than to make such a mistake. It was nowhere near allergy season after all and you wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it was, that he gave you a chance to pretend that it was just allergies acting up and not you breaking down over a rejection letter.

You took a tissue gingerly, soaking your tears, patting your wet cheeks until there was only raw skin there and puffy, red eyes. Yonghee wasn’t looking at you though, he wasn’t making fun of you. He was with his back to you, his broad shoulders blocking you from the corridor’s view. His sudden and unexpected care made you feel conflicted and you suddenly weren’t even sure how to react. You decided to go with acting normal, like you would have done with any other person even if it wasn’t normal with you two.

“Thanks,” you mumbled after poking his shoulder, signaling him that he could turn around.

Yonghee nodded and there was worry in his eyes as he looked over at you.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” He asked tentatively as if he expected harsh words in response which, you had to admit, was a reasonable fear. But you were too sensitive and exhausted to pick another useless argument.

“Just a publication rejection. No big deal,” you shrugged, forcing yourself to be as nonchalant as you wished to feel inside.

“Oh, the Korean Mathematics Gazette?”

“Yeah,” you sighed and glanced at Yonghee sharply. “You don’t have to tell me, I’m sure they loved yours,” you muttered bitterly.

“Actually, they called my writing too prosy for a science paper and said that the topic I chose was unoriginal,” the boy snorted, which honestly stunned you because you never expected him to be someone who failed. Ever. He had always seemed so annoyingly perfect and yet, he took it so easily, as if he was used to it. You couldn’t help your surprise.

“Wow, really?”

“I guess they really hate the idea of publishing something from master’s students. I heard doctorate students get more chances,” Yonghee shrugged, unbothered, and even though you also heard the rumors, you still wanted to try out knowing that it would have had a big accomplishment in your personal statement for the PhD  programme.

“If somebody, I thought you would break that stigma,” you admitted  because even if you hated to admit it, statistically speaking Yonghee was the best out of your year. It shouldn’t have but the fact that even he wasn’t good enough for the Gazette made you feel better. Or well, not exactly the fact itself but that he told you about it. He could have stayed quiet and you wouldn’t have known.

“Come on, I’m not that good,” Yonghee shook his head and at times like this you couldn’t decide whether he was such a good actor to pretend or he was really that humble.

“You’re still better than anyone in our year,” you argued because that much you could admit. He really was the best which is both annoying and motivating. Annoying even more when he started to protest as if he didn’t know he was the best. You rolled your eyes at him. “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy whenever you can rub it in that you’re better than me.”

Your accusation seemed to push Yonghee into defensive mode.

“I just think you look cute when you’re annoyed,” he blurted out and you whipped your head to look at him so quick you might pull a few joints in your neck.

“What?”

“Nothing,” the guy cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck shyly, redness coloring his skin. It was an unexpectedly cute look on him. “If it helps, it actually motivates me a lot to know that if I slipped up even just a little, you would beat my ass without hesitation,”

Oh. So he didn’t think that you were easy competition, he did think you were competition to begin with. It gave you more satisfaction than what you would have admitted.

The ringing of your phone broke the moment though but those last few words and the look in Yonghee’s eyes haunted you long after. It made you question everything you once thought of as axioms.

Numbers just make sense to you. You like how rational mathematics is, how unswayed and consistent. It has an explanation for everything. For Yonghee, however, it’s fun, he has told you before and you couldn’t get it. What’s so fun about it? Seeing you struggle over problems he can solve with closed eyes? He says he gets a boost of adrenaline whenever he can solve a problem, that it’s rewarding and this way you can understand the spark in his eyes when he gets to the solution first during classes.

You have no idea when exactly your annoyance turned into lowkey fondness and when you started looking forward to seeing him. At first after that conversation in the corridor, you were in denial, like no way you cared about him of all people, like jeez, you were better than falling for just his pretty face and sweet words… but then you had to realize that there was no point in lying to yourself. Not when prolonged eye contact made your skin feel heated and sent your heart into arrhythmia.

So yeah, numbers make sense to you but feelings don’t.

To confess or not, that’s your dilemma now.

Rationally, based on everything you learned about game theory strategies, you know that you shouldn’t say anything due to the possibility of getting rejected. This way the worst thing that could happen is that even though your feelings are mutual you never know because both of you stay silent. But you wouldn’t get humiliated either which is definitely something you would like to avoid. You have to see Yonghee almost every day because you share pretty much all your classes, so it would be terribly uncomfortable afterwards.

Yet, despite all rationality, all of your mathematical knowledge, knowing fully well that it would go against the advised strategy, you can’t help but wonder about the what ifs. What if you confessed? What if he felt the same?

It’s hard not to wonder when you catch Yonghee looking at you with something other than his usual amused smile or judging frown (or what you thought of as it at least). There’s something awed and fond in his eyes nowadays. It makes you hope foolishly, think that maybe he does feel the same. That maybe he also had a change of heart regarding you.

It happens in the most unexpected yet most you way.

Sometime during the semester you started to exchange brain-teasers, puzzles, mathematical equations with Yonghee, expecting the other to solve them. They got progressively harder and thus, more fun. That’s why you were very taken aback when you received the simple task to solve 128 times the square root of e to the power of 980. Other than the fact that e490 was a huge number, especially multiplied with 128, it wasn't difficult to solve, so you were quizzed, trying to figure out where the catch was.

It’s actually your artist roommate who figures it out faster. She looks over your shoulder to see what you are working so hard on and chuckles.

“That’s cute,” she says and your eyes widen, staring up at Yeojin who claims to hate mathematics with a burning passion.

“You know what’s this?” You stare at her and her mischievous smile.

“Oh yeah and you should definitely take a step back and think outside of the box.”

You are seriously starting to lose sleep over it, especially because Yonghee looks more and more nervous whenever you meet and you don’t tell him your answer. It’s driving you crazy what it could be, so eventually you do something you swore not to do, not when it comes to Kim Yonghee: give up.

“I’m done. I have no idea what this is supposed to be,” you throw your open notebook in front of the guy in the library, startling him in the middle of writing a paper or something. You don’t care. If you have to go one more minute without knowing what he wanted with this newest task you will seriously lose it.

“Oh,” Yonghee looks up at you with a sad, kicked puppy look and you seriously don’t get it. Shouldn’t he be happy, over the moon that you can’t present him with an adequate answer? “Are you uhm… sure? Like you aren’t just trying to be nice?”

What? What does this have to do with you being kind or not?

“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this some kind of joke? Or like I missed a major update in the world of algebra?” You question, frustrated, and your classmate lets out a little (endearingly) awkward chuckle before he pulls your notebook in front of him writing down the equation he assigned to you.

“No, it’s… it’s just cringe but in my defense, it was Hyunsuk’s idea,” Yonghee says, clearing his throat as he slides the paper back to you. You stare down at the damned numbers, ready to snicker when the boy covers the top half of his writing with another paper and suddenly a whole different meaning is presented to you. It takes you aback and you look at Yonghee, waiting for him to laugh, to call it a joke but he doesn’t, he just stares back at you with big doe eyes, hopeful and your heart trembles in your chest.

“It is cringe, but…” you agree once you finally find your voice, trailing off. Gosh, you can’t believe you’re doing this. You take the paper back and grab a pen to write i < 3u * 2.

Really, it’s so you: confessing using a mathematical formula. No matter how cliché it is because it doesn’t matter, not when Yonghee’s rewarding smile is brighter than the Sun.

It’s proven then: that sometimes it’s worth going against the dominant strategy because in the dilemma of love, taking risks might lead to happiness you never knew.