#cithrel

Saw stuff about Alistair recently and like... You know how his defining trait is that he's soft and loving despite it all? How he's like 19 or so with a pretty shitty life but his thing is "hey being kind is really cool actually" and shit? Yeah well that's actually another reason he's the perfect narrative foil for Cithrel, and also why they despise early on. There's always jealousy on Cithrel's part. They want so badly to be nicer, because people like nice, and nice people get friends and shoulders to cry on. They just can't get around being like that, and for the longest they thought it was because of their fucked childhood, but it turns out maybe it's just them. They thought they were just fucked, turns out they're actually just an asshole. Because Alistair's fine. And if he's fine then the problem really is just Cithrel... And the worst part? That's not even true. It's what Cithrel tells themselves because they wouldn't pass up an opportunity to be their biggest hater. And sure, they're mostly a bitch, but they're also REALLY fucked. Everyone reacts differently to trauma... They got the short end of the stick because no one was really there to help them process what was happening to them.

Sorry been thinking about Cithrel and Alistair (because I started Awakening, it makes sense I swear) and I couldn't help but think about the whole thing with Alistair's sister... Cithrel yelling at her, talking about how she doesn't know shit, and doesn't deserve anything that Alistair has to give, and that he deserves a family that gives a shit about him cause he's great actually. And then they drag him out of the house before anyone can say anything else. And well, Alistair's a little upset they did that, but they did also say things he couldn't himself say so he can't help but be a little happy. And Cithrel apologies saying "I kinda took your chance at a family away ):" and Alistair shakes his head saying "nah, I'm good.", with the biggest grin ever. And Cithrel is so confused they're like "what do you mean??" And Alistair shrugs and says "hey you like solving mysteries right? Go ahead" and then he starts walking away, and Cithrel just starts running after him yelling stuff like "Alistair??? Get back here! Explain yourself! Alistair!" Anyway the siblings