#cirquesungjong

There was a break from performances for the time being, probably until tomorrow, but that small gap lead the acid generator into boredom and a slight deprivation of alcohol. It left him to aimlessly wandering from place to place, tent to tent, only to find a person in each one. He didn’t know why he was looking for solace outside of his own private tent – maybe he was getting bored of the light green coloring and the musty smell.

Being without friends was, well, lonely. He never really tried to branch out again, because he knew that he wasn’t ready. He was still angry, still hateful, still mourning over people that definitely weren’t mourning over him. Hell, he even missed Seungri, just because it was a person he could look at with some recognition. It was back to square one, when he was just a beginner in the circus business.  With his ear buds in and music blaring, he finally found the one tent that was completely empty.

He figured that it was an unfinished performing tent that someone left for someone else to finish, but to him, it was perfect. It was a new color which refreshed him, and the setting was overall… comforting. So comforting, in fact, that Jiyong found himself tapping his foot to the beat of the music buzzing in his ears.

Joonmyun had begun to sicken of his fearful relationship with his tent, sneaking in and out with his eyes trained on the floor every single time he needed fresh clothes, or his brush. It might have been his intended home, but even the fact that it was enclosed frightened him to his core. He spent each night thus far tossing and turning, like the material pressed in on him the moment his eyes shut, but he was sick of retreating to sleep outside –it was getting colder and he might just catch pneumonia one night if he wasn’t careful. So he devised a clever plan to keep him calm when he was in the tent: candy.

That’s right, he had gone to town on his third day to buy an enormous bag of candy that he had started to snack on whenever he’d feel anxious. Joonmyun needed to eat an incredible amount of food to keep from starving to death each day anyway, so he didn’t worry about any negative effects, seeing it like it killed two birds with one stone. Chewing on a piece of toffee would set his focus on unlocking his jaw, rather than how suffocating being inside the tent felt.

After the initial success, he started buying more candy in bulk, but he discovered the sad truth that just because it was getting colder didn’t rule out bugs coming for his lollies. Therefore he had taken to storing his candy in his backpack within his tent, seeing as he didn’t really get too anxious elsewhere, and most bugs couldn’t sneak past the zipper. Dealing with something so important in front of others normally would make him nervous; he had yet to really sit down and meet any of his tentmates, but he had never had prior reason to mistrust his cellmates, so he virtually saw these men the same way.

Due to this, he felt no shame over rummaging in his bag for whatever flavor of candy he was craving that day while others were present, Joonmyun taking out a large amount of his stash to search for his last piece of licorice. It was a weird flavor that he didn’t care for too much of the time, so he kept very little of it on him, but in that moment, he craved it. Piling nearly all of his stash out, he finally found it, and let out a little hum of happiness as he began to put the rest of the candy back, him forgetting to zipper it back up as he ripped the licorice out of its wrapper.