Can't Get Out of This Mood
It’s been years since I’ve seen someone who shines as bright as her. Nothing in my head makes sense these days, but looking at her makes it all go away.
She spends most of her time in her room/office, fixing and creating things out of scraps of metal. I have to pass by it when I head to and from my room so I always see her through the crack of the open door, a faint blush on her cheeks and her lips curved into a small smile as she works on another project. My heart beats faster every time I see it.
Sometimes she’s in the kitchen when I go to get myself some food. It takes every ounce of courage in my body to not run out of the room, her beauty is too hard for me to handle.
The most we do is wave to each other or give each other a passing nod. I want to do more, at least say hi to the woman, but my nerves stop me every time. She’s just … so bright.
I’ve never felt this way before. The movies I used to watch with Guardian Thalynora described it as butterflies in my stomach, but it's more like knives stabbing my chest and bees buzzing in my head. Those liars. But somehow, the buzzing and the stabbing feels pleasant.
I like to create music, I always have and I always will. When I get overwhelmed like this, I like to write. I can’t explain it, but things are easier to understand when they’re notes on a page. After I write I play. The keyboard Vic gave me isn’t much, not as great as the piano’s I’ve worked on, but it’s still something.
While working on a piece one day, I realized something: creating out of metal for her is like creating music for me. Then, it all fell into place, the final piece of the puzzle revealed the picture. I knew what I had to do. I spent the next few days walking around the base, tapping on all different kinds of metals and taking notes of the sound and pitch. The bees turned into butterflies as I worked, excited to finally take things a step forward. I’m doing it!!
I then put those sounds into a song. What was the message of the song? Don’t ask me, I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t even know what I was really doing, I just let my heart make the music.
I take a deep breath after I finish, smiling at the sheet music in my hand. My feet move before my brain even registers it, making my way towards her room. My cheeks get redder and redder as I realize what I’m doing. But I can’t stop now, I’m so close!
When I reach her room, I take a deep breath. Ok I take 5 deep breaths. My heart is beating so fast and it just can’t seem to stop.
“Cindy?” I hear a voice call out behind me, smooth as butter.
I flinch and turn around, my cheeks bright red. “Y-Yuuki! Hi!” my high pitched voice echoes throughout the hall. Damn voice, embarrassing me in front of the girl of my dreams!!!! “I-uh-I have something for, um, for you.”
She giggles at my stuttering and nods, opening the door to her room and entering. I follow and close the door behind me. I’ve seen her room through the crack of the open door for so long, it feels like a dream to finally be in here.
“So, what is it?” She asks, sitting down on her bed.
I stand in front of her awkwardly, holding my keyboard and my sheet music. “Um.. Can I.. um … play something .. for you? Please?” I can’t look her in the eye, I’m too embarrassed.
She giggles again at my embarrassment, “oo sure, go ahead.”
I nod and sit next to her on her bed. I set up and start playing. Honestly I blacked out, just letting the music guide me. When I finish, I take a deep breath and look at her. She has a faint blush on her cheeks and her lips curved into a small smile.
I blush more, looking away. “Thank you ….” After a few seconds, I look back at her and hold my hand out, dropping my sheet music onto the floor. “Cindy.”
She looks at my hand and giggles before taking it. “Yuuki. But we’ve already introduced ourselves.”
I smile and shrug, chuckling. “I know, I just felt like doing it again.”
After that, I made sure to say hi to Yuuki every day, building up the courage to eventually ask her to hang out and then eventually ask her out. I can’t let some other hottie snatch her up! It'll be a hard process, but it’ll be worth it.
It’s been years since I’ve felt this way, this childlike happiness and sense of purpose. Thank you Yuuki, thank you.
