#chuuves fic

March 14, somewhere near midnight

“People only know they’ve lost something forever once it no longer belongs to them. She wants a temporary break, but maybe this is a sign,” the small girl says, beaming with energy.

You furrowed your brows together, creases deepening on your forehead. You're usually never awake this late and it’s obvious.

“So, what exactly is your plan?”

You sounded frustrated and tired, which you were, and although you bit your tongue to repress the arising emotions of lack of sleep, they shined through your weak façade. Jiwoo ignored your unenthusiastic tone, as she put in much more effort into her façade. Although it seemed like she was energetic and full of life, she held back the raging anger that boiled through her veins, not to mention how badly she wished she could let out a tsunami of tears.

Jiwoo was a well beloved woman, you could say she was a woman of the world. However, no one seemed to catch her eye and pull at her heartstrings like Sooyoung. She’d managed to capture Jiwoo’s heart and haunt her every living second. Behind all the loving and sweet memories they both shared, Jiwoo carried the burden of hesitation. Being new to love, she was unsure of all her feelings; not to mention that they were feelings for another woman. The line between love and obsession was blurred — actually nonexistent — for Jiwoo. With these new emotions and her first experience of heartbreak, she was unsure of how to deal with it.

“The only way to make her realize she’s made a grave mistake is by making her jealous. What better way to do that then by moving on quickly AND looking good while doing it,” she replies, dramatically moving around her hands.

“Well, Tinder is always a good s-”

“A dating app? Who do you think I am?! I want you to be my fake partner. You always hang out with me anyway.”

Silence.

The offer was so sudden it had caught you off guard. Part of you thought she was joking, but it was late at night and… honestly? Anything was possible at this point. Jiwoo took both of your hands in between her own and looked you straight into your eyes. The color in her skin was back and she didn’t seem as drained as she did hours prior.

“It’ll only be for a while and…” her eyes drifted off to the side for a moment. “I’ll pay for all of our fake dates,” she said, making eye contact once more, only this time she gave a warm smile. Damn is she convincing.

“We have to go on fake dates too?”

“Oh stop whining, this will only work if we make it convincing”

She drops your hands and walks away, heading towards your bedroom window. You’d never notice how pretty Jiwoo’s back profile is. You fall back onto your bed and cover your now flushed face.

She hears the thump and without looking back she sighs, letting out a small “you’re so dramatic.”

You reach for your phone, looking at the time. Holy shit is it late. You sit up, looking towards Jiwoo’s direction. She’s still gazing out the window, but there’s not much to see. The moon is barely visible and you’d be lucky to catch a glimpse of stars considering the street lights are beaming and the air pollution levels have been higher in recent days.

“You know… you’re much more beautiful than any mysterious thing out in space”

Jiwoo’s head perks up and she does a swift 180. She looks vulnerable again. You’re nonchalant and try to play it off.

“Just practicing…” You say softly. “I should call a taxi for you,” You continued, looking down at your phone.

While you were distracted, Jiwoo’s mouth parted ever so slightly as if wanting to say something but not knowing if she should. Jiwoo reflected on her relationship once more, the compliment bringing back memories. Sooyoung had always called Jiwoo her star.

“You shine brighter than all the stars in the sky combined, and even when we’re apart I feel comfort knowing we live under the same moon”

But like every star, it’s bound to explode someday.

“You know when you look at the moon while in a moving car and it’s like it’s following you?” Sooyoung asked the small girl as they star-gazed.

She giggled and nodded. Sooyoung laid sideways, propping herself up with her arm to stare at Jiwoo and said, “the moon is only following you to protect you while I’m not there.”

They both bursted into laughter. “You’re so cheesy, what’s gotten into you” Jiwoo questioned in a lighthearted manner.

“Jiwoo?” You slowly walked towards the girl, who suddenly had tears running down her face.

After spending the night with you, Jiwoo sat alone in her apartment. The sun was rising, but she wouldn’t have known that because she made sure to close all the blinds and untied the curtains. She grabbed any record from her small collection and took it out of it’s pocket, taking a moment to admire the vinyl. As it played, the record let out a soft and slow melody, music that let Jiwoo’s thoughts wander. 

She plopped onto her bed and sighed. Who even breaks up on white day? She felt as if her brain was running a mile, too many emotions and thoughts to process and no time for any breaks. There was a lump in her throat, but she didn’t want to cry. Although no one was around, she didn’t want to be vulnerable. Crying would mean that she felt hurt, that Sooyoung had wounded her badly enough to inflict pain; after seeing the stoic expression plastered onto Sooyoung’s face as she left Jiwoo out to bleed was enough to make Jiwoo realized that she never cared at all. And yet... she wanted to make her care. 

“Maybe we need a break... It feels as if you’re getting a bit carried away. I like you and all, but maybe space is needed for us. I just don’t think I’m ready for that serious commitment yet. Be patient, will you?”

Jiwoo felt that wave of anxiousness again. Her hands got sweaty and it was if she couldn’t breathe properly, like she could only inhale air and never release it. Back in your apartment, she seemed like she got a hold of herself, but she could only bluff for so long. Jiwoo ended up in front of your doorstep and yet... she didn’t want to feel like a burden.

After tons of overthinking, her eyes began to burn. Her lids became heavy and her nose started to tingly. Through the pain, Jiwoo managed to be knocked out.

11:13 AM There was a ringing coming from Jiwoo’s buzzer. You stood by the front desk, your eyes roaming around the lobby. You never visited Jiwoo frequently as you both had a large distance in between you both, but every time you came to her apartment complex you always ogled the architecture. You awkwardly held, with both hands, the cardboard handle of the coffee holder. If anyone walked by, it would be obvious that you weren’t of the area, even with your added effort to dress formally casual; you stuck out like a sore thumb. At some point, Jiwoo finally answered the buzzer and told the front desk employee to let you in.

As you stood in the grey, metal elevator leading you up to Jiwoo’s apartment, you began to feel nervous. You looked over to the left, seeing your reflection on the shiny wall of the elevator. A lock of hair fell over your face, and for a second something seemed wrong different, it wasn’t the hair, but more so you. You pushed the lock of hair behind your ear and began to question why you were there. Well, you - consciously - knew why, but what if there was more to it? You shook your head lightly, looking away from your reflection. I should never let her keep me up all night again, now I can’t think straight.

“People only know they’ve forever lost something once it no longer belongs to them. She wants a temporary break, but maybe this is a sign!”

Ha Sooyoung gathered all the things she bought to send to Jiwoo. She had been talking and flirting with a uni student named Kim Jiwoo for almost 7 months now. Sooyoung was finally getting the courage to ask her out. Although they were both in Korea, they were either too busy or saving up money for something else to visit each other.

Sooyoung wrote the letter neatly and added some small hearts around the letter. Her hand glided on the paper as she poured out her feelings. If you payed close attention you would see her softly smiling as she wrote, and you'd see her cheeks turn a light pink. She folded the letter neatly and inserted it into the envelope. She took out some cute penguin stickers, they reminded her of Jiwoo — they were just so cute... Kinda like Jiwoo! She took out a small post-it-note, she doodled a small penguin and a swan together.

Then she took out a cute postcard she found in a store the other day. It was a photo of Daegu from the overlook of Apsan Park. Maybe a postcard would encourage Jiwoo to come visit her. Sooyoung had also gotten some magnets and pins of Daegu earlier that week. She placed them inside the envelope and closed it.

Sooyoung took a deep breath. She stayed seated for a bit and stared at the envelope. Suddenly, doubt overwhelmed her. What if Jiwoo rejected Sooyoung? Would she risk their friendship for a crush? But then again... What if Jiwoo reciprocated those feelings? Her brain was scattered and her tender heart started to bleed.

Sooyoung had found the small girl's social media a while back, she always checked up on her. Lately it's seemed as if Jiwoo already had her heart set on someone. She wasn't sure who that someone was, but on her social medias she would always gush about her crush. It was weird for Sooyoung, because Jiwoo never mentioned anybody to her.