#chrsitian

Sometimes life can be overwhelming.

Not just the obvious ways. When we’re in a crisis – dealing with the death of a loved one, illness, divorce, loss of our job. Something so big that anyone who’s paying attention (and even those who aren’t) can tell that the water is coming into the boat faster than we can bail it out.

Sometimes life can be overwhelming – even when it’s not obvious.

When everything we’re dealing with starts to add up. When all of the “little stuff” gangs up on us.

We’ve got tensions in our closest relationships. We’ve got a micro-manager for a boss. And there’s a co-worker who knows how to punch our buttons. We’ve got a car that won’t stay fixed for anything. Stuff we didn’t get done is coming back to bite us. We forgot to go to the store and now there’s nothing for dinner.

By themselves, none of them are earth-shattering. But it feels like they’re working together.

Somehow, they keep adding up. To wear us down. Until they’re just as overwhelming as a major crisis.

But no matter how we get overwhelmed, the best way to handle it is the same. And it’s hidden away in today’s Gospel. Here’s what I mean.

After all of the amazing things surrounding the birth of Jesus. There’s this odd line, “and Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.”

And you’re thinking, “hold on – how is that overwhelming?”

Think about everything leading up to this moment, everything that Mary has been through in the last year. Visits by angels, miraculous pregnancy, strain on her relationship with Joseph, road trip while 9 months pregnant, giving birth in a barn, angelic chorus, shepherds.

Overwhelming? Yes. Because even the good stuff, even miracles can be overwhelming.

In the face of that, look at what Mary is doing.

Mary is stopping. Just for a moment. Instead of letting an avalanche of events be overwhelming, Mary is reflecting.

Mary is stopping. She’s not letting herself be pushed by the non-stop flow of events. Which is how anything, even the good stuff, can overwhelm us.

Mary is stopping. Instead of simply reacting, she’s taking a moment to just be with God. So that she can be in God’s will. Before responding intentionally.

Mary is giving us a lived example of how to keep things from becoming overwhelming. And how to hit back when they do.

She’s doing it by stopping, by breaking the non-stop flow of events.

She’s doing it by reflecting, by quietly taking a moment just to be with God.

So that she can have God’s perspective on everything that’s going on in her life.

So that she can respond intentionally, from God’s perspective.

Not because doing it with God makes it all go away or become magically better (in a few weeks, Mary and Joseph will be fleeing for their lives into Egypt). But because doing it with God keeps her from being overwhelmed.

In this new year, things will try to overwhelm you. Don’t let them.

Follow Mary’s example. And stop. Break the non-stop flow of events.

Take the time to be quiet with God and to reflect.

Then respond intentionally, from God’s perspective.

Do it with God. Not just when it’s all too much. But every day.

happy palm sunday 🌿

My “Journey”: Southern Baptist -> Agnostic -> Deist -> probably Unitarian?

I believe in God, I have my reasons, but I don’t feel the need to make it anyone else’s problem.  You can’t prove God exists, you can’t push your beliefs on other people, your personal experiences do not negate centuries of empirical evidence.  The burden of proof falls on the person making the claim, not the audience; if we cannot prove something, then we can not realistically expect anyone else to start believing it.  I am a man of science, first and foremost.  The universe is 14 billion years old, all life shares a common evolutionary ancestor, the Earth is round, we’ve been to the Moon, creationism doesn’t belong in schools, being gay is a-okay, trans men are men, trans women are women, and an European swallow cannot lift a coconut.

I live my life within a narrow interpretation of the New Testament: don’t be an asshole.

Jesus was a real historical figure, there are extrabiblical sources that prove this, the question is whether or not he was indeed the son of God.  Hell if I know.  If God exists, then sure.  Either way, Jesus’s teachings were pretty bog standard: don’t be an asshole.

I believe that anyone can be a good person, regardless of religious background, and in fact many allegedly pious people are in fact the worst pieces of shit alive today.  People do horrible things in the name of Christianity, they pretty much always have (the Crusades, proselytism, genocide, the Republican party, etc.), and it makes it hard to believe anything the religion claims to promote when the leaders are all horrible people.  I cannot condone organized Christianity, there’s too much corruption and politicization.  I have to maintain my own mantra to stay sane: don’t be an asshole.

God loves everyone (yes, even the horrible ones).  God IS love, He doesn’t hate anything.  That doesn’t mean that everyone gets a free pass to do whatever they want with no consequences, He can still disapprove of a bunch of stuff, but if He is truly an all knowing all loving creator, He would weigh your actions and your intentions instead of just giving you a get-out-of-Hell-free card for saying you like his son; nepotism will get you nowhere!  There are no magic words you can say that will get you into Heaven.  If God exists, He knows if you are a good person.  He knows everything you do and why you do it, and He knows whether you actually believe the things you say/do or if you’re just saying/doing them to try and appease Him.  There are no secrets, He knows if you’re bullshitting Him, and He knows if you’re legitimately trying your best under the given circumstances.

If God is all knowing and all loving, why then would He choose to punish 70% of the world’s population for believing the wrong thing?  Why would He create people to punish?  Why would He damn them from the beginning?  Why would He create some arbitrary entry-barrier to the afterlife that involves the random chance of your birth?  That’s not fair.

Now I know life isn’t fair; life is demonstrably UNFAIR, everyone knows that, but I have to believe that in the grand scheme of things there has to be some order to the chaos.  Maybe that’s just hopeless optimism, but let me tell you that I am perhaps the most pessimistic person I know.  I am depressed and stressed and always underdressed, so I have trouble looking on the positive side of anything.  Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, putting off the inevitable until after I’m already dead, but I figure who the hell cares?  If I’m right, I’m right.  If I’m wrong, I stop existing and won’t be able to care anymore.

Oblivion is my greatest fear; I can’t even imagine not existing anymore.  I know that if oblivion is inevitable then there’s no use worrying about it, but it fills me with dread to think that one day I may just stop being.  Sure, I didn’t exist for longer than I did exist; I was dead for billions of years before I was alive, but the difference is that I was never alive before that “death” to think about it.  Now that I AM alive, I kinda have a vested interest in staying alive.  I kinda like being conscious, I can’t imagine going back to nothingness now that I have experienced somethingness.  Anythingness.  Ness, in general.

I don’t know what to believe, I don’t know what is right, I don’t know how I would even go about finding the answers, so I just have to accept that there are some things I can’t know and be done with it.  Ignorance is bliss,but I don’t want to be ignorant, so I’m still open to new things, I just can’t keep worrying about that which is beyond my control.