#chrsdeleted

❝ would you forgive me if i died? ❞ - ranboo @ tubbo

// he says it nonchalantly, like he doesn't, everyday, everywhere, everytime they are apart. it's words he's imagined a million times before, he feels like ranboo must have whispered in his ears just as many times as well. if he could still see him, he'd look into his stupid eyes, and tell him how much he wouldn't.

but he can't. and he struggles figuring out just where ranboo's face must be, head tilted up as if he could look at him.

in a way, maybe he is. maybe, he is imagining he is. maybe every part of his soul is reaching out for ranboo, trying to feel what exactly the other is attempting to tell him.

tubbo reaches out for his partner. he wonders if they still are. he wonders if they ever felt the same kind of feelings for each other.

small hands eventually find bigger ones. he bites his lip in a way that should bring across every word he wants to tell him. " no. " , he says then, along with a heavy breath. in the darkness, he imagines them dancing, laughing.

          SILCO HAD A TENDENCY TO KEEP HIS DEPRAVITIES TO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS AND UNDER STAINED SHEETS. safe and private. just between the two of them. strictly business outside of the bedroom. so, hearing him speak so openly in his office, door barely closed behind her, of what he was thinking - earned a surprised laugh from jinx. skipping closer to lean over the front of his desk, towards where he sat in his chair. his eyes always looked so hungry when he needed her like this, eating her alive. he loved the attention, the feeling of being needed so primally. and she needed him the same. together they devour each other in glances and touches.

          playful glint in his eyes as she grins at him. " and what's stoppin' you ?? " jinx teases, reaching forward, suddenly digging nails into the front of his shirt and pulling him and his chair closer to him. " i thought you do what you want since you're the big boss man, huh ?? "

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          " VANDER'S OUT THEN ?? " powder speaks down to the other who she spotted cleaning up at the bar from the balcony above. it was morning and the sun was streaming in, but sometimes vander would go out early and leave silco to just keep an eye on the place. seems that was the case here. the place was empty, leaving just the two of them as she comes down the stairs offering him a smile.

          " he knows i can do it myself now !! i don't know why he always insists you have to come over. " laughing lightly, moving to swing on top of the bench next to where he was working. " unless you're the one that's insisting ?? hm ?? you've been hanging around way more than normal. i haven't seen you this much since i was younger. " powder leans in close, teasing the older.

“ officer - or, is it now sheriff kiramman? or commander …? fascinating how fast these things change. ” viktor glances over as the other approaches, hand waving off the others stood around him. “ if you are looking for jayce, you will not find him here. however, if you are seeking healing, please, make yourself at home. ”

// she feels a little naked without her rifle. but they wouldn't let her in with it, so begrudgingly, she'd given it over to ambessa, and made the steps into this weird.. commune.

at the very least, the big coat around her shoulders is comforting. she's practically been living in it ever since ambessa got it made for her. a glare washes over her features when he tries to figure out with what title to address her with, her feet shift in the sand under their feet, leaving a small track.

" commander. " , caitlyn confirms, staring at viktor like she is inspecting every inch of his soul. truthfully, she doesn't think she ever really knew the man. words of passing, they've rarely spoken and as fascinated with him as jayce seemed to be sometimes, she doesn't recall a lot he'd told her.

she doesn't know what she is looking for, honestly. something just dragged her here and she wants answers. the implication of healing confuses her, and she wants to say that she isn't even injured, but before she can open her mouth she gouges that's not really the healing he meant.

the mention of jayce unnerves her. " I didn't think you would. I'm more surprised to see you. " , are the words she settles on, she swallows dry spit, shaking her head.

" what... is this? " caitlyn vaguely gestures at everything around her. all singed had spoken about is this horrible beast that ambessa desired for herself, but what they'd found is something akin to a cult. an utopia of fruits and nature inside of zaun.

          JINX HAD ONLY ORIGINALLY ONLY PICKED UP BITS AND PIECES OF SIGN. some were more common to just know. for example, vi knew a couple for when they were trying to be stealthy during jobs - but who knows if they were real signs or just bullshit someone made up. a few years ago she started learning, mainly due to silco's insistence. ' if you dont wear your hearing aids, we have to learn to sign together, you cant keep ignoring everyone ' was the compromise they came to. she did hate the hearing aids, so this worked better. and now that he was spending more time with viktor, it only made sense to teach him some too. it was also during this venture that he had been learning that some of the piltover signs, in crossing the bridge had been changed, for obvious reasons -

          " that's so different from the one i know !! " jinx laughs, sitting cross legged on the desk in front of viktor's chair that he was sat on. " piltover is this - " the sign for 'p' is shown before being turned into a rude gesture, making him laugh again. " and - and enforcer is just - " another similarly rude gesture is given.

          powder JINX WAS STILL GETTING USED TO HOW SILCO TAUGHT THINGS. it was so different from vander and vi, where they would have strict rules and be mad when you broke them. here, there was very few rules. but, instead there were long monologues and stories with statements about how the world was and how it treated people like them. outcasts. it was . . . different . . .

          jinx had looked up to him when he had entered the room, she had been working on a drawing, himself and his things spread out on the floor of silco's office. a drawing of jinx was half done on the paper. big long pigtails behind the drawn figure, even though his own were barely shoulder length.

          " what do you hide ? do you keep things even from me ? " she can't deny the insecurity in her voice as she asks, sitting up some more to scoot closer to him. she didn't think she hid anything from him, but maybe.

          HONESTLY WHEN SILCO STARTED SPEAKING, she almost zoned out. ' blah, blah, zaun this, piltover that, blah, blah, ' it was a similar tone of voice to when he would lecture him, or try to give her a lesson. hands busy tinkering with another weapon of some kind, another grenade it looked like. after a moment his tone changed and jinx realized it was something different. something affectionate. spinning in his chair to look up at him from where pow sat.

          silco loved his metaphors. and they often went over her head if he was entirely honest. but, pow got the gist of this one. offering him a wide grin as he laughs. " you're being all sappy again. what's gotten into you lately ?? you're normally all ' argh jinx stop messing up my plans grrr stop leaving your stuff everywhere grrr jinx turn your music off'. " he mocks, suddenly using his foot to spin his chair in a circle faster.

          as it slows from the momentum, he jumps up, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. did she need to say anything that the tight, desperate grip on him didn't already ?? jinx's holds on him were always like this. scared he'd leave, or crumble in her hands . . .