FBI Director Kash Patelās girlfriend just got added to the lineup for the totally prestigious Freedom 250 rally.
Lisa Needham at Daily Kos:
FBI Director Kash Patelās girlfriend and wannabe country singerĀ Alexis WilkinsĀ just got added to the lineup for tonightās extremely prestigious Freedom 250 rally starring President Donald Trumpāand she wants you to know that she totally got there on merit. After the Freedom 250 music festivalĀ collapsedĀ spectacularlyāwith artists racing to wipe their names from the garbageāTrumpĀ declaredĀ that heās instead just going to have a rally. At first, Trump was only going to be joined by Lee Greenwood and Christopher Macchio, the latter of whom always inspires a jump scare where you wonder whenĀ the guyĀ from āKarate Kidā became an asshole, until you realize this is a different guy. But on Tuesday, Wilkins got added to the bill,Ā announcingĀ on X what a āgreat honorā it is to be part of this debacle, in which sheās now listed as a āfeatured performer.ā When people pointed out that theĀ only reasonĀ she got slotted in is because sheās PatelāsĀ girlfriend, Wilkins got huffy. [...] Well, maybe she has a lot of listeners on streaming services? Lol, nope. OnĀ Spotify, she has just 5,620 monthly listeners, and her biggest song, āLove Me,ā has 517,491 total plays at the time of this writing. The Chicks, widely reviled by conservatives,Ā boast about 6 millionĀ monthly listenersāmeaning that Wilkins pulls in roughly 0.09% of their spins. Thereās also Maren Morris, an outspoken liberal,Ā pulling in more than 11 millionĀ listeners per month. Wilkins fares no better against conservative country artists. Toby Keith hasĀ more than 10 millionĀ monthly listenersādespite the fact that heās, you know, dead. And the extremely Trumpy Travis TrittĀ brings in 5 millionĀ monthly listeners. Hey, thatās only 890 times more than Wilkins, so ⦠getting closer? Even the entirely washed-up Kid RockĀ gets 7 millionĀ people to stream his songs every month for some godforsaken reason.Ā But waitāstop the presses. Looks like thereās someone with fewer monthly listeners than Wilkins. Yes, itās her fellow Freedom 250 performer Christopher Macchio, about whom TrumpĀ boasted, āNot since the legendary Luciano Pavarotti has there been such a voice!āĀ Macchioās talent must be a very well-kept secret, given that he nabsĀ just about 890Ā listeners each month.Ā
Donald Trump finally found a musician gullible enough to perform at the Freedom 250 rally: country singer Alexis Wilkins, who is the girlfriend of FBI Director Kash Patel.











