Christma(dnes)s VII
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It may have taken me longer than usual to assemble this yearâs selection of frightfully festive fun, but I think the sheer volume of material I dug up was worth it. After all, why should I just focus on the Phantasm ornament or the âKrampus in the Cornerâ when thereâs so much more out there? Iâm really excited about this this first one. Remember the restored Santa Claus Conquers The Martians pressbook article from a few years back? Well, the full Santa Claus Conquers The Martians pressbook is now online and has oddities like a coloring sheet and guidelines for the âMartian Santa Soda!â
If you crave recipes for creepy Christmas fare, fear not! Home For Halloween has recipes for âHalloween Hot Cocoa,â âNight Owlâs Favorite Gingerbreadâ and âBloody Winter Fudge.â I also found recipes for âGrinch Kabobs,â Krampus-approved âCoal Cookiesâ and the amazing âJack Skellington Cheese Ball.â Speaking of food, remember Haunted Hotsauce? Now theyâre called âHalloween Hotsauceâ and have some âKrampus Hot Sauceâ thatâs perfect for kicking up savory holiday meals.
But thatâs not the only thing I can vaguely connect to that particular pressbook! How about some free music? Thereâs âRobotic Christmas Treeâ by the Amoeba People, âChristmas in Spaceâ by Loop Line and âIs it Christmas on Venus?â by the Blue Giant Zeta Puppies.
Sam Haynes added some new tracks to The Gift of Christmas Fear and heâs not the only musician offering full albums of spooky and disturbing holiday hits! The Havana Snowbirds have A Very Creepy Christmas, Pumpkin Buzzard is offering Happy Holidays and Insect Posse takes us Home For The Holidays. Although you can download Venus de Viloâs âSantaâs Slay,â âMistletoetagâ and âThe Nightmare Before Christmassacreâ for free on SoundCloud, buying them as an album on Bandcamp will let you snag some other ghastly gifts.
While weâre on the subject of downloading individual tracks: YYAAMM has âGrĂźĂe an Krampus!!â (it means âGreetings to Krampus!!â), Kieran Strange wishes us a âMerry Undead Christmas,â Vagabondage is having a âZombie Xmas,â which is not to be confused with David Watsonâs âZombie Christmas,â Mike Pritchard is annoyed how âChristmas Threw Up on Halloween,â Kevin Schatz pleads âSanta Save Halloween,â and Spiral pays tribute to a specific kind of greeting card called âKrampusKarten.â Similarly, Angellis Taliuu offers âWe Wish You A Zombie Christmas,â Cthulhu Martini tells the tale of âSilent Night Deadly Night,â Tom Smith lightens the mood with âA Pirate Christmas,â World of Fright notes how âItâs Bloody Christmas,â Silver Louzy pits âXmas Vs. Halloween,â the Dollyrots belt out âI Saw Mommy Biting Santa Clausâ while Josef Nadek is sharing both âH.P. Lovecraftâs Yule Horrorâ and âA Yule-rite, older than man and fated to survive him.â
But what about those who desire some spoken word material? Will Hesslerâs hilariously profane âChristmas Begins At Target 8â:â30 Halloween Nightâ might be more satisfying than music. The Wicked Library has several Christmas specials featuring tales of terror available for download. If you prefer streaming stories, Mike Arnzenâs short âLittle Stocking Stuffersâ is contrasted nicely by Astro Alâs lengthy âMerry Black Massâ and âA Victorian Christmas Ghost Story.â
Since reading ghost stories is a Christmas tradition in England, you can curl up with William Meikleâs âThe Yule Log,â followed by E. F. Bensonâs âBetween the Lightsâ âThe Other Bedâ also has a mild Christmas connection.
While weâre on Google Books, letâs look at the lyrics to âPumpkin Bells,â learn how to make crĂŞpe paper moss thatâs perfect for a fake swamp or Christmas party (seriously) and behold the insanity of âNutcracker Kills The Squirrel.â
Now comes the time for my annual trip to Amazon. While there I came across a horror-centric audio version of A Christmas Carol and a Christmas sound effects album which blatantly reuses altered tracks from a scary sounds album. You can listen for yourself if you donât believe me! Thereâs also books like Santaâs Claws, Happy Halloween, LiâL Santa, The Fright Before Christmas, The Old Magic of Christmas: Yuletide Traditions for the Darkest Days of the Year, Haunted Christmas: Yuletide Ghosts and Other Spooky Holiday Happenings and The Krampus and the Old, Dark Christmas: Roots and Rebirth of the Folkloric Devil. The amount of Krampus merchandise has exploded over the last few years. Thereâs masks, leggings, figurines, candy canes, drinking glasses and even a Krampus tree topper!
Donât forget to support small businesses! Monolith Graphics has some beautiful new Christmas cards and Dead Rose Symphony has a new release called Christmas Mourning. Moving on to the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Societyâs online store, we have a Cthulhu tree topper, Cthulhu ornament, a holiday gift bag, Christmas audio drama and various combo deals featuring other cool Christmas stuff.
Speaking of Lovecraft, why trim a tree when you can decorate a giant tentacle? You can even use some papercraft shrunken heads as ornaments. Donât fret about making Christmas too scary for Santa, as that right jolly old elf has a section of his blog devoted to Halloween!
Our last leg of this yearâs journey takes us to the Island of Misfit Links. Platypus Comix tells the tale of a Halloween special which was accidentally shown as a Christmas special, Flying Frog Productions has a free downloadable Krampus card for use with the board game A Touch of Evil and MechaGodzilla Jr. spends Christmas on Monster Island. Finally comes both the naughty and nice episodes of our podcastâs 2015 holiday celebration. Enjoy!












