#chriskey

"petekey" this "peterick" that

why dont we all just start shipping the OBVIOUSLY superior ship: heypete.

well we can't get into the ENTIRETY of the arma angelus days, but with all of the blowjobs in the airports and getting a tattoo of the logo your "friend" designed and the literal kissing on stage, it's pretty safe to say they were a thing, yeah?

also don't we all call our homies a hottie with a body?

well, blah blah blah, shit goes down eventually. peter our everbeloved whore decides to hit on chris's girlfriend. and so we get: The Open Letter (To Pete Wentz).

oh and the entire thing chris? that's a breakup letter if i've ever seen one.

like CHILL OUT DUDE DAAAAAAMN?

"guess whose fucking name you're saying each and every night? mine"

no homo though. totally.

and another compleeeetely non-homo thing that happened very recently?

yeah the petekeyers are going to tell you about the summer of like mug, and about how he tagged mikey in a story, but amongst all that we, of the heypete nation, started a new wave. of lesbianism.

It started with just asking him if he was a lesbian in a livestream, which he did NOT deny as he points out multiple times, then it was him telling us to use "the most lesbian fob song" in a post he was tagged in (to those curious, the most lesbian FOB song is Coffee Is For Closers according to mama chrisbian.)

and then we thin it all dies down for a while, yeah? about a wee goes by and pete only posts hisfuckass tennis ball and chris goes on bicycle rides around chi-town.

shit does not die down, btw. chris reposts the heypete iphone backgroud Nova (Rainbowfoxxox on instagram) made on his story and says "this is so adorable!"

and then the clandestine drops happen. and this funny ass dude gets a free clandestine jacket.

"but why is it so thick" "thanks bbg"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.