I started this fic at some point and will probably never finish it but hear me out here: Chowder and Ransom bonding over mental illness and specifically anxiety, Ransomâs generalized anxiety disorder and Chowderâs as a symptom of his adhd. Chowder being really open about his therapy and medication journey and helping encourage Ransom to get the therapy that he needs! Ransom and Chowder being therapy buddies and going to the same clinic at the same time with different therapists!!
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since i canât stop/wonât stop writing chowder/ransom, hereâs a thing that definitely happens:
after witnessing a full-fledged Ransom Panic Attack(tm), Chowder is like um??? that happens to me too, but, like, internally????
heâs a little nervous to ask rans about it though bc he doesnât want to make him uncomfortable in case he doesnât want to talk about it
he has a Bad Day, and his Bad Days are virtually undetectable unless youâre looking really hard, and no one notices, which is good, he tells himself. he doesnât want people to know heâs having a Bad Day
at the end of the day, though, he finds himself sitting alone in the living room with rans
and he just... he feels Not Good
so he goes for it bc he doesnât want to feel like this anymore
ârans?â
âyeah, chowder?â
âwhat does anxiety feel like?â
âum. kind of like someoneâs strangling you but theyâre invisible and you donât know why theyâre strangling you or how to make them stop.â
âhuh.â
âwhy do you ask?â
âi... uh. i have that. all the time.â
and so ransom is immediately on the ball, telling chowder how he copes with his anxiety and letting him know that student health actually has some great mental health resources and recommending his therapist bc sheâs the bomb.com
âi need a therapist?â
âyou donât need one, but it helps me. sometimes itâs nice to just talk to someone thatâs removed from your life, you know? she helps keep me sane.â
âi dunno...â
âyou donât have to go, but if you wanted to, i could walk with you there? would that help?â
âyeah. yeah, thatâd help a lot.â
after this discussion ransom starts doing little check-ups with chowder, just asking him how his classes are going and how he feels about the season and if his familyâs doing well
chowder looks forward to this, bc rans is a safe place to vent about classes or family stuff or even hockey. he notices that he always feels better when he gets to talk to ransom and get all that stuff off his chest
ransom walks him to a therapy appt about a week and a half later, and chowder is skeptical, but it actually goes pretty well
it doesnât fix him or anything, but it feels like a small step in the right direction
rans takes chowder to get dinner and go to a movie after that, bc âyou deserve it, c. thatâs a huge step. itâs awesome.â
holster knowing abt ransoms crush on chowder and them talking abt it and just nudging rans whenever chowder does something Cute or Sexy (or both bc lets be honest that boy,,) thats aimed at rans and rans commenting on his Goalie thin g (where hes super intense during the game and shit) like just the boys flirting bc that is my Shit
âDude,â Holster says sympathetically.
âI know,â Ransom sighs.
âYou told him his helmet hair looked nice,â Holster winces.
âI know,â Ransom repeats, not even trying to hide his grimace.
âI havenât seen you be this off your game in... ever.â He puts an arm around Ransomâs shoulders, steering him back towards their corner of the locker room and away from the goalie stalls where Chowder is happily chatting with Jack.
âMaybe itâs because heâs a teammate?â Ransom shrugs.
âNuh uh,â Holster shakes his head, âFreshman year you had Mitchy wrapped around your finger after two practices. This is something else.â
âGod,â Ransom groans, âHeâs just - fucking - do you see him right now?â He gestures over at where Chowder is sitting in his stall, running a hand through his hair and beaming up at Jack.
âDirty pool,â Holster says, âCute, hot, and a little bit crazy. Exactly your type. You never had a chance, bro.â
Chowder is holding a puppy. Heâs holding a puppy and making kissy faces at it and wearing a bro-tank that shows off how unfairly toned his arms are and it feels like Ransomâs chest is constricting.
âBrah,â Holster breathes out next to him, âBrah, if you donât go hit on him, I will.â
âShut up, I know,â Ransom groans, âI just gotta think of something to say, first.â
âSay, âWhatâs cookinâ, good lookinâ?ââ Holster suggests, a sleazy smile plastered on his face. Ransom shoves him hard. âJesus, ouch. Just talk to him. Ask him about his day. Be a normal human being.â
âRight,â Ransom nods, taking a deep breath to steady himself. Chowderâs playing tug-of-war with the puppy now, looking at him with all the focus he shows when heâs in the crease during a game.
âHeâs a puppy, Chowder, not an opponent,â Ransom laughs, âPretty sure heâs not going to score on you.â
âYou never know!â Chowder laughs, knocking his shoulder against Ransâ as he settles down next to him. âHave you seen Air Bud? Pretty sure thereâs a hockey one.â
âIce Bud, maybe,â Rans offers.
Chowder pauses for a second before he says, âI feel like thatâs a beer.â
Theyâre both laughing, then, and Rans canât take his eyes off the way Chowderâs face lights up when he laughs, dimples out in full force. He can practically feel Holster smirking at him from across the quad.
âThis is unfair and cruel,â Ransom whines into Holsterâs shoulder.
âHeâs trying to kill me. He knows what heâs doing and heâs trying to kill me.â
âHe knows what heâs doing,â Holster agrees, âBut I donât think killing you is what he has in mind. Look at him.â
Ransom moves his face from where it was mashed up in Holsterâs shirt to look back at Chowder. Heâs still dancing, hips moving in a fucking sinful grind, but now heâs staring at Rans, both eyebrows raised like an invitation.
âGo, my son,â Holster says, pushing Rans away from him and towards Chowder.
âFuck,â Rans mutters under his breath. It takes three strides for him to get to Chowder, and half a second for Chowder to take a half-step back, pressing his back against Ransomâs front. Rans is tentative, but when he settles his hands on Chowderâs hips all he does is lean back even more into him.
âIt was about time you showed up,â Chowder teases. Ransom canât even respond to that, just squeezes Chowderâs hips and tries not to die from the way Chowderâs moving against him, head thrown back onto Ransomâs shoulder.
He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them he catches Holsterâs gaze from across the room. Holster smiles and gives him a thumbs-up, and if it wasnât so dark Ransomâs pretty sure he would see Holster give him a sleazy wink, too.