#childproof

[Theme song plays, and the screen fades from the title to the main set. A living room, nice and decorated, with three people on the couch. Diamond sitting on one end, Sunny on the other, with Lamb draped across their laps.]

LAMB “And then she was like "Well I wanted to play with it first!" And I said "But, it’s my toy! And that’s when the teacher came over!!”

DIAMOND “Now, Lamb, what did we tell you about sharing?”

SUN “You shouldn’t be greedy. Next time, maybe you could play with that toy together?”

[Diamond nods in agreement with his husband.]

LAMB “But she was being unfair! She wanted it, and that’s practically stealing!”

[Laugh track plays.]

DIAMOND “It’s not stealing, that would be only if they didn’t give it back to you. Did you try to talk it out first?”

LAMB “Well! …No.. I guess not…”

SUN “Try it, you might like sharing. Maybe you’ll even find a friend this way."

DIAMOND “You need friends or you'll end up like me.”

[Diamond glances at Sun, then looks back down to Lamb.]

LAMB “Hmph.. fine, Papa. Also, I wanna be like Dada! You and Papa are cool!”

[Lamb giggles, looking at Diamond fully.]

DIAMOND “I might seem cool, but my life is nothing to aspire to. Uh, it's not something to want to have.”

[Sun ruffles Lamb’s hair with a fond expression.]

SUN “You can be even better than us when you grow up.”

LAMB “Okay Papa. Sooo, what’s for dinner? I’m hungry!”

SUN “Dinner? Oh, well let's see.”

[Sunny gets up and walks to the kitchen. Camera change. He opens a fridge, and is blinded by its emptiness. It shines brightly in his face for a bit until he closes it and goes back to the living room. Camera change.]

SUN “It looks like a big shiny nothing on our plate today!”

[Laugh track plays. Diamond sighs, shaking his head.]

DIAMOND “I thought you were getting food yesterday! I told you to go out and get food.”

LAMB “I can make dinner!”

[Lamb runs out of the room towards their bedroom. Beat. They return holding a plate of velcro ‘foods’, giggling furiously.]

DIAMOND “Lamb chop, that’s not edible. We need real food.”

[Diamond sighs again, getting up off the couch. He side-eyes Sun in annoyance.]

DIAMOND “And since Papa can’t seem to get it on his own, it looks like I will have to go.”

SUN “Oh right. I'm sorry I didn't get it yesterday. But I can help you with it today to make up for that!”

DIAMOND “Well, you’ve gotta make up for it somehow.”

[Diamond folds his arms. Lamb looks around, hesitant to stop playing to go to the boring store.]

LAMB “I can stay here! I’ll be good, I promise, Papa and Dada can go shopping!”

SUN “We’ll be back soon! Keep that promise, play with your toys for a bit, and you won’t even notice any time passed.”

DIAMOND “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

[Diamond opens the upstage door and gestures for Sun to go first. Sun gives Lamb a little wave before stepping outside. Beyond the door is bright light, presumably sunlight, but from this angle the camera doesn’t pick up anything else. Diamond exits after.]

[Car engine revs off camera.]

[Lamb just walks to their room, crayons and paper spread across the floor as they lay down on their stomach and begin drawing. Several minutes pass until Lamb decides that they want to color in the living room. So, they pick up all their crayons and paper and relocate. Once they settle down, they begin to color again.]

LAMB “Hmm.. Okay, this needs to be green!!! ... Wait where’s my green crayon? Hmphh....”

[They grumble, running back to their room. Running so quick in fact, that they do not notice the green crayon on the floor. And so it begins. They slip on the crayon, landing almost face first. It takes them a few seconds to process what just happened, before they start to cry.]

[Car engine revs off camera.]

[Diamond enters through the upstage door, carrying several plastic bags, and drops them to rush over to Lamb.]

DIAMOND “What did you do?”

[Sun enters through the same door, echoing Diamond’s actions with a softer tone.]

SUN “Hey, are you alright? What happened?”

[Lamb is still crying, holding their scraped and bleeding knee.]

LAMB “Wanted my crayon, but I tripped a-and-”

[Lamb sobs louder, looking up at their parents.]

SUN “It’s alright, it happens to everyone! Shh, don’t cry, we’re here now and we’ll help you. What should we do?”

[Sun’s question is directed to Diamond.]

DIAMOND “I’ll get the bandages, you deal with the-

[Diamond gestures towards the crying child.]

DIAMOND “-girly stuff.”

[Laugh track plays. Diamond walks off camera as Lamb wails, reaching for Sun. Sunny hugs his kid, sitting down and lifts them up to sit on his knees, holding them close. He pats their back as he feels tears making his shoulder wet. His hands are shaking a little but it's near unnoticeable on camera.]

SUN “You're very brave, you know that? Just stay patient a little bit, we'll get you fixed up and you'll be as good as new, okay? Don't cry, you're safe now.”

LAMB “Yes Papa..”

[Sun hums an indistinct song to calm Lamb down, still holding them close and waiting for Diamond’s return.]

[Diamond enters with bandages.]

DIAMOND “Let me see.”

[Lamb extends their leg to let Diamond see the scrape. Sun lets them move, but holds them on his lap.]

DIAMOND “That’s not bad. You’ll get over it.”

[Diamond puts a Showfall-themed bandage on the small scrape. Camera focuses on Lamb.]

LAMB “Thank you, Dada, thank you Papa. I promise I’ll be more careful next time.”

[Lamb turns back around to hug Sun again, and the screen fades to black.]

Please stand by while we resolve our technical issues.