#childofthecycle

The same six words repeat in Seungmin’s head over and over again and it’s enough to throw him out of focus. He stops tapping his foot to the beat of the song playing through the speakers and he falls victim to his own thoughts again. He sighs before leaning his entire upper body against the cushion of his chair. The comment forced him into a position of doubting himself, questioning whether he really was making the right decisions in life or just wasting his own time.

It was half past 1 and he still couldn’t sleep, so instead he resorted to practicing for the talent show presentation taking place in the upcoming week. He’d picked his piece a week prior and practiced it a few times in the past week and his schedule to head to his professor’s studio to present his piece was earlier today.

“You’re good,” Seungmin recalled his professor say but with the tone the man used, it didn’t seem like he was praising the younger boy at all, “but—”

Seungmin was startled out of his own thought spiral when he heard two knocks. For a moment he thought it was just a mere product of his imagination or it was just his sleep-deprived brain playing tricks on him in the middle of the night. But the knocks come again and he realizes that it wasn’t coming from his bedroom door but from his window.

He turned his swivel chair to face the glass and caught sight of a silhouette pacing back and forth impatiently on his balcony before stopping directly in front of the window. Seungmin scrambled to get his phone, unlocking it swiftly to have one hand ready for an emergency dial. That is, until he heard you shout from the other side of the glass.

“Jeez, dude! It’s freezing out here. At least, let me in.”

Seungmin lets out a relieved sigh at the thought that the person outside, at least, wasn’t a stranger. But nonetheless, there was still a person outside at such an ungodly hour. He walked over and drew the curtains open. 

You looked at him through the glass. You could tell his annoyance just by the look on his face; the furrowed brows, the pursed lips and his overall expression that screamed ‘what the hell are you doing here’. Understandable, considering you paid him a visit this late on a school night.

Your friendship with Seungmin wasn’t always the best. You barely acknowledged each other even when you were both technically in the same friend group and even when you knew him longer than you knew the others. You just didn’t click too well. His teasing nature would often get on your nerves and it would result in non-stop bickering. You’ve gotten so used to exchanging banters with him that it shocks you that an insult isn’t the first thing that leaves his mouth when he sees you.

He turns to unlock a knob before pulling the window pane upward. “What do you want?” he asks, more calmly than you expected him to.

You raised a brow, “No insult today, Kim?”

Seungmin doesn’t bother proving you wrong, staring back at you with tired eyes. He sighed, “If you have nothing important to say, go home. I’m going to sleep.”

He grabbed the bottom part of the pane to pull it back down but you held it up with your own palm in resistance. “Don’t bother. I’ve known you long enough to know that you can’t fall asleep when something’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s bothering me,” he denied, but the fact that he’d become defensive about it proved your guess right. “Go home, it’s late.”

“I don’t want to go home,” you uttered, resisting another attempt of his to tug the window pane down. “You know why.”

His stare softened when he noticed how your tone changed suddenly. He might not have been your closest friend in the group, but he was the only one around long enough to know things from your childhood that you refused to talk about now. With him, there was no need to relive anything since he already knew. 

“I’m starting to think that I’m not the one bothered here,” Seungmin said, a teasing smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You let out a huff, “Never said I wasn’t. Let’s get something to eat, are you up for it? You know, to get our mind off things?”

But it’s half past 1 in the morning on a chilly school night and you’ve paid an impromptu visit to the sole person in your friend group who’d least expect a visit from you. Seungmin had all the excuses to decline your offer and you couldn’t possibly force him to join you on your adventure at such an ungodly hour. You were annoying and persistent, but you still respected his boundaries. 

Right when you’ve accepted the chance that he’d decline he says, “Hold on, I’ll get my keys.”