#child parent

so

i was abused

news to me

Turns out that whole “I had to be the other adult in the house after dad popped off” wasn’t normal. In fact, it could have been avoided entirely. Why did my mother think it was a good idea to be a full time student and single parent in a place so far away from other family? Why did she think the natural way of things was for me to, at ten, step up and help take care of the family?

Even before dad died, I was helping more than a child should. When mum got arthritis, it was my job to make coffee, wash the dishes, shake the milk so the butter separated (we bought milk from a farmer friend of ours for a while), and iron the cloth diapers. I was nearly seriously burned doing that last one once. Did I mention I was three?

I was expected to be at my family’s beck and call to help out with my younger siblings. I have diary entries where I talk about making sure they got dressed in the mornings. I remember soothing their nightmares. I made dinner a lot, once dad taught me to cook. I bottle fed my youngest sister, and I changed all of my siblings diapers many times. The day I learned one of my friends would be moving in a month, I was absolutely distraught. I remember writing my diary entry that day at the dining table, and having to cut it short because my mother was yelling at me to pull it together and do my chores.

I’ve been held to higher standards than all my siblings. I’m still the only one who can drive. Even now, at twenty, if at any point I expressed hesitance or displeasure in doing something, like driving my siblings to school even if it would make me late to work, I’m told that I’m selfish and lazy and never there for the family.

But I’m getting out soon.

I have an appointment to see some apartments next week, I’m about to mail in my packet to be admitted to outpatient psychotherapy, I’m taking meds.

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