#cheong

LIKE OKAY I KNOW THAT HELKALLOYD IS A SHIP. it's not a Big one compared to javilloyd and alilloyd but i've seen art of it floating around - do i personally ship it? nah, not my thing - where helkaros is possessive toxic yaoi and lloyd is like oh!

BUT I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D LIKE,,, EXPLICITLY FRAME IT AS HELKAROS "WANTING" HIM OR "FALLING" FOR LLOYD IM LAKDFJLSJHDFA

it does make him as an antagonist SOOOO fun though it's so fucking interesting. i don't know if i've talked about it here before (i may have on the tged server actually) but helkaros and lloyd are like different sides of the same coin. they are both workers, who put their everything into getting the end result they want... but the difference between them is lloyd's care and empathy for the people he loves, versus helkaros' disregard for people as a "ceo" type. helkaros doesn't seem at all afraid to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, especially knowing what he does and says in ending spoiler four; "you did nothing wrong", because it's true, lloyd didn't do anything wrong. it was all helkaros' doing to get what he wants,,, and what he wants now is lloyd. SO THAT'S SCARY

lloyds response to THAT line made me giggle though so that kept me. alive HAHA "aren't you a little old for me / ? the age gap?" I CACKLED

during 183 we also got to see little snippets of javier having to learn externally/indirectly about what helkaros wants with suho,,, i like that we get a little snippet of this because it does come into play later in ep 188 and that. ughghghg my heart. ill elaborate more when we get there,,,

helkaros also commented on lloyd constantly making positive impacts on the world with the things he does,,, and then also tells him its pointless this time. he asks lloyd why he struggles, what point is his life if he's just going to struggle,,, which gives us this panel and it gives me so much life

and lloyd asserts that he'll struggle until the very end / until his last breath and im AJDLFKHSKDJFHAAAA IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS PANEL

i like that he is determined and angry. i like that there's this fire to keep going until the end,,, the expression in this panel is like a perfect blend of veiled rage,,, he's putting a stake on it, on living and fighting til the end and when i saw this i got SO DAMN EXCITED I LOVE THIS SIDE OF HIM A LOT lloyds tenaciousness shining through no matter what is a huge part in how this story came to be and i'm so glad that he's still reaching for the life that he wants,,, go lloyd go!!!

we also return to magentano in this ep,,, i was absolutely TERRIFIED to see worthroad again HAHAHHA esp once he started approaching alicia,,, but alicia got up and she had her sword and i was like HELL YEAH BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM ALICIA AND I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HER AGAIN

AND THEN SHE GOT. POISONED AGAIN

H,,, AAAHHH,,,,,,,,, :') MANY THOUGHTS ON THIS

(it also got us This lovely spread where artanis and javier are in the background and lloyd and alicia are in the foreground and it's nice! the art is super pretty and the composition is so lovely)

i do really like the direction of "alicia doesn't trust anybody but she's opened her heart for lloyd as he's someone who's got her back and someone she has learned to trust" i think that is totally fine,,,

but a little voice in me,,, kind of wished that in this moment,,, alicia was able to fend for herself. i,,, kind of wished that this wasn't another "lloyd saves the day!" kind of dynamic.

do NOT get me wrong i think alilloyd is super cute,,, they're sweet and their small interactions are funny and lloyd being oblivious makes me giggle all the time. but i really really wish that their Big interactions were more balanced,,,

i Know that there have been some points where alicia saves lloyds ass. there's like two (in the cave/snowstorm, during the eye of summer ceremony),,, but even knowing this, alicia doesn't feel like an equal on a writing standpoint compared to lloyd. despite being told that she is a strong, independent, smart queen,,, the writing is heavily favoring a dynamic where she is the damsel and lloyd is the savior. and,,, idk,,, this just kind of stings to me, bc it's almost as if everything alicia does doesn't matter bc lloyd will fix it, lloyd will be involved. it feels like she's being robbed of her autonomy and that hurts ALKDFJSDJHFA

and i know, i know, "this is a story about kim suho and the people he loves!" but i feel like that and "alicia should be able to act on her own and save herself???" can be two statements that coexist,,,

it makes all the following interactions in the upcoming eps that ill chat abt here in a sec all the more bittersweet bc,,, it's so god damn cute,,, but i feel like the foundation is missing alicia's time and growth. i know the adaptor is really really trying to lean into the "lone wolf learns to trust again" type thing, and i'm sure they tried their best,,, i'm Aware that that's what they were going for,,, but i think it just falls short, and i can't help but wish for smth better for her, y'know? i wish alicia was treated a little more carefully and with more dedication to building up who she is before we jumped into the "oh i trust you to save me now",,,

took me forever to phrase this ramble in a way that makes it clear what my stance is but i hope that made any kind of sense HAHA i still have a lot to get thru so,,, ill pause that for now. there's more thoughts to consider regarding this topic (maybe i'll have a separate post about that <- says this every time) (especially if we want to compare javier's relationship to lloyd vs alicia's, and what makes alicia's writing different from javiers, that'll be a Time,,, i'll have to think on that) but it's the middle of the night so i GOTTA MOVE ON HAHA

ANYWAY. ep 184 is where the alilloyd arc of season 3 really kicks in,,, and i think alicia wishes aside, i had a lot of fun HEHEHE

lloyd being so damn oblivious to the queen liking him when even artanis has caught on,,, had me giggling my ass off. javier knew too and he just kind of let lloyd go thinking that alicia's trust in him is enough,,,, god they're so goofy. lloyd u are so real though bc i also wouldn't be able to tell in ur shoes. handshake.

also also! artanis mentions the dark magic worthroad uses being by an ancient evil god named maleficarum! we've had a few instances of alternative gods mentioned now (siluria's magic referencing different elemental gods and now this) so it makes me wonder if they'll come into play in bkmoon's future works,,, i think it'd be interesting to look into,,, despite the mana system being mostly explained, mage stuff has mostly been implied (ie existence of magic circles, whatever the fuck worthroad was doing to keep himself alive, silurias spellcasting as well as her amulet) so i think it'd be cool to explore,,,

as lloyd is trying to help cure alicia too, we get a really wonderful panel in alicia's mindscape of lloyd smiling at her young self and ,,,, this panel is one of my all time faves. it's such an "i'm here now" type smile and i love it so so so much,,, i have to post it i love it i love it HEHEHE

and alicia beams at him and they hug and this panel is also so so so lovely im so laksjdflhjaskjhdfa. the vines are gone and the sky is clear and alicia trusts him enough to jump into his arms and LIKE SEE ALILLOYD ARC IS ABSOLUTELY OBJECTIVELY CUTE. I LOVE THIS. I WISH WE SAW MORE ALICIA,,, bittersweet :')

and then,,, at the end of 184 we get javier wondering,,, "is this what they call,,, soulmates/a partner?" AND I,,, GAAHHH THAT HURT ME TOO,,, BC JAVIER YOU ARE LITERALLY ALSO A SOULMATE/PARTNER TO HIM

LIKE LITERALLY ur telling me that reivaj and dyoll from bhdl went and had all that next life talk and existed together in the previous era AT ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE,,, ONLY FOR U, JAVIER, TO TURN AROUND AND THINK THAT ALICIA IS HIS SOULMATE. BUDDY IT'S YOU. YOU ARE ONE OF HIS SOULMATES TOO. THERE CAN BE MULTIPLE SOULMATES LISTEN TO ME GET UP JAVIER STAND UP FIGHT BACK!!! GET YOUR MAN!!! YOU ARE HIS PARTNER TOO YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THICK AND THIN TOGETHER YOU ARE HIS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i sighed so deeply when i read that ep idk if my classmates could hear me stressin abt that line but yeah. HAHAFLDKJSDHFA

i think there was a panel of alicia looking at lloyd too and i do like that it kind of mirrors the snowstorm scene where lloyd wakes up to realize alicia gave him her mana,,, i did like that a lot and i wish there was more balancing like that OKAY OKAY ENOUGH WISHING

when we hit 185 we get a BUNCH of cutieful panels. this ep is so fluff and silly and honestly i'm obsessed w that,,, alicia is super cute especially,,,

LIKE LOOK AT THEM THE EEPERS!!! at some point i guess alicia pulled him onto the bed so that he'd be comfortable instead of being in the chair,,, and then,,, heh,,, hehehe,,, the shipper in me is spinning like CRAZY THEYRE SO CUTETHIS IS DOMESTIC I LOVE DOMESTIC SHIT

we also get this really sweet duo panel thing with these two,,, and alicia goes "i've got you now" and lloyd's stupid face blushing. he doesn't even realize what alicia's done what with the whole. law of the kingdom or something that basically implies marriage/intimacy HAHAFKJSDFHA god alicia's so gorgeous sorry i keep getting distracted by her i love pretty bold women

the nobles like asked her and everything like "are u sure this is,,," and she goes "yeah. ill follow law" and when i read this live i didnt even need to know what the law was to know "oh this is what Seals the Deal. oh There it is. SHE'S LITERALLY GOT HIM"

this panel too was also super duper lovely,,, SO SO SO CUTE. alilloyd fans were eating very well that thursday I AM OBSESSED W THE COMPOSITION OF THIS PANEL SO FUCKING MUCH alicia leading and lloyd a lil hunched being dragged along and he's blushing and she's smiling ansdlfkjlaksjdfkjhasdf and there's so much about this panel,,, lovely

the photo in the background too is michael from dragon king's chef bc of the flower in his hair, him being blond, and the sword! i love when they do callbacks like this,,, really good and kind of helps cement that this world has history

i also think it's really interesting that alicia is wearing a black/dark blue cape now, when she previously wore a big mantle of red, like swimming in red (much like michael in that bg photo, actually). in my (yet to be posted lmfao) alicia thoughts post, i discussed red being symbolism for the weight she carries, how despite cutting her hair, she still hangs the weight of the kingdom on her shoulders, the red trails down from her back,,, but now she's got black/blue. it makes this feel like a transitional period for her, which kind of ends up being true in the following eps, so i really like this lil color change a lot. no idea if its intentional, but it brought me joy thinking about it

in ep 186, we see the treatment process btwn alicia and lloyd and,,, god its so silly goofy LAKDFJLHSJDFJKHHA I LOVE IT I LOVE her teasing him for holding her hand was so ridiculously silly im so fucking obsessed WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS WHY IS LLOYD LIKE THAT??? AKJLFHSDJKFSDHAA

AND THEN THE. TYPING THE KNOT. THING. LIKE THAT'S SO. THAT'S SO???? LAKJFDLSHDF!??!? cutest romantic lil implication ive ever seen in my damn life THAT'S SO CUTE??? THAT'S SO CUTE,,, GAAAAAHHH

obsessed w how the ribbon makes a heart,,, at how alicia is the one tying lloyd to her but lloyd is the one holding onto her,,, oogh,,, alilloyd,,, alilloyd,,,,,, tears in my eyes

AND THEN LLOYD GETS A TASTE OF HER FUCKING WORKLOAD AND I STARTED LAUGHING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT

THIS PANEL OF LLOYD JUST BEING DRAGGED ON THE GROUND FUCKING SENT ME HE CANT HANDLE HER OWRK IM HADFLKJSDFHHAHAHA

genuinely the compositions and the bits at the start of season 3 are so damn good i'm glad they took a big ol break before jumping into it bc that just helped all of this come together so nicely i love the art direction so damn much. really good.

they have a conversation in the bath and we finally get more conversation about alicia and the way she works,,, "if i rest, the people will suffer. if i suffer, the people will be safe." lloyd immediately clocks her as a workaholic, and i think that's true, but i also think it's directly related to what happened in her past. ep 140 is the ONLY ep that shows her history but it tells us so SO much about why alicia is who she is today,,, (and i still wish we got more but i digress)

this mindset of "i must be the one standing and working for my kingdom so bad shit doesn't come about" more than likely comes from how her life fell apart because she was "at rest" and didn't involve herself with the people - which isn't her fault! she was the youngest daughter, furthest from the responsibilities from the kingdom, and she should have been able to live as such,,, but that childhood was taken from her, and soon she was the only one left to run this kingdom. if she doesn't run it, who will, right? otherwise it'll all fall apart even more, and that can't happen if she wants to protect this place that she cares about,,, leading to, of course, "if i rest, the people will suffer. if i suffer, the people will be safe". and of course, no one was there to tell her to value her own health and time too,,, so that's just how she is.

and (this is a scene that happens in 187 but it feels relevant enough to bring it up since i'm talking about it now) when lloyd is confronting her about her behavior, and explicitly saying he Knows how it began,,, it's absolutely because he Gets it. he's been in those shoes too- "if i rest, the face of my parents will suffer. if i suffer, i will protect their image and the person they worked so hard to raise." i have constantly been asking for them to have this kind of conversation, and while it isn't as direct as i had imagined (it's very read-between-the-lines),,, i really appreciate it. these moments between them make me really happy. whether or not alicia grasped what lloyd was getting at, i'm not sure,,, but i'll believe that she did. it keeps alilloyd afloat as well LMFAO

in 187, lloyd's main goal is to get alicia to rest and to do that,,, he asks to be king for 3 minutes,,,,,,, leading to very goofy expressions I LOST IT AT ALICIA LOOKING THIS PISSED AT LLOYD THEYRE SO. and the whole time they're still tied together tears in my eyes

and to think he doesn't even realize that he'll likely soon Actually be king. ooooh buddy. bro has no idea,,,

and then the scene mentioned earlier where lloyd expresses that he gets where alicia's coming from, but alicia needs to rest to make sure she can continue living to keep her people safe and alicia hears him and,,, it's very sweet,,,

alicia does like beat him up a little bit for acting out of place afterwards / still acting like a king after his 3 minutes which i'm like "?" at but it's made pretty clear that it's for the sake of goofy ass bit,,, alicia smiles at him as she's fucking stepping on him and thinking "im more fond of him,,," AND HES SMILING WHILE UNDER HER FOOT ALDFKJSLDKFHA OKAY BUDDY,,, i know what you are /LH /JOKING iknow its prolly cause of the convo they had but yknow. THE FOOT IS KIND OF PROMINENT LAKJDFLSJHDFJHKA

at the tail end of 187,,, we learn that the things lloyd has built over the years are falling apart faster and faster despite his predictions,,,, which gets us THIS serious ass panel i love this expression on him,,,

and this is what leads us into 188. the big one. ohhhhh boy this episode gave me whiplash

lloyd is spreading himself incredibly thin in just simply trying to manage everything while thinking about how to stop helkaros AND stop fate,,, and javier isn't blind. he sees it.

javier observing this and also coming to conclusions in 183 on his own,,, i really like how it kept cropping up until the end of this episode. it feels meaningful and it makes sense, as javier has watched suho for so long,,, i really like this kind of foreshadowing at what happens at the end of this ep. really good,,,

WE ALSO GET. VERKIS AND CHEONG YAAAAYY YYAYAYAY THEYRE SO CUTE AND ALSO VERKIS' MOM??? IVE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE??? SHES SO FUCKING COOL LOOKING IM SO she's lovely she's so lovely. i wish i could read the rest of dragon kings chef its not translated to EN :') but theyre very cute,,,

god verkis is such a fucking wife guy . he loves cheong so damn much oh my god ALSO CHEONG IS SO PRETTY IN THE TGED STYLE YAYY YAAAA SHES SO CUTE lovely,,, lovely,,, im glad she's alright i was wondering what she was up to!

and then we cut back to lloyd,,, and i really like this panel of him here. he's spread so thin and exhausted but he's still out here working hard,,, and notably without much to support him besides his shovel. he's hunched over and breathing heavy, but even so when verkis asks him whats up, he goes "its manageable" with a tired ass expression like. ohhh buddy,,, ghh,,,

verkis also asks him about what the jewel of truth said to which he falls silent,,, and verkis correctly guesses that lloyd doesnt like the answer he got. and we cant see lloyds expression during that but,,, it's clear he's still really upset by it. oh my shayla,,,

finally, verkis brings up that lloyd can't keep endlessly trying to manage everything, and asks if he's willing to do this for the rest of his life (a little reminiscent of helkaros' question eh?) and lloyd doesn't even hesitate to say yes, which verkis comments on,,,

i'm glad that verkis offered his help for if lloyd ends up needing it, though it makes sense that lloyd would want to avoid bringing the dragons into this,,, bc if hell is already involved, and lloyds got an angel on his roster,,, who knows what would happen the world coudl like. explode.

NOW,,, the climax for the season 3 opening episodes and what made me INSANE FOR A WEEK,,,

javier approaches lloyd and asks him directly about what the jewel of truth said. i really like that javier does this,,, he's always been direct with getting the answers or results he wants and i'm glad that stays true here, especially considering his observations earlier in the episode as well as his realization back in 183. he's sick of being in the dark about these things, and he wants to help. esp knowing how he felt about artanis being relied on,,, i'm certain javier is feeling sidelined by the man he's been with all this time.

but javier is met with lloyd being,,, avoidant about the truth again. hell lloyd doesn't even make eye contact this time, he just kinda looks away, gives a half-assed excuse and a half smile,,, but javier sees right through him. honestly id believe it if javier was already upset by this point,,,

at this point as i was reading i was getting alarm bells in my head i could FEEL the incoming argument . it's like seeing a dodgeball of prophecy a second before it fucking pummels u in the face. BC THEY DO INDEED START ARGUING

lloyd denies shit again and javier KNOWS he's fucking lying and calls him on it and oh my god the way lloyd's expression gets more and more upset as he keeps asking,,, this fucking HURT ME IT HURTS IT FUCKING HURTSSSS AAGGHHH

like he just stops denying it and starts asking javier to just cut it out and i . TEARS . IN MY EYES gghhghlskdf BECAUSE HE CAN"T DENY JAVIER THE FACT THAT HE'S HIDING INFO ANYMORE JAVIER KNOWS HIM TOO WELL BY THIS POINT,,, GAAAAAAAHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HANDS PRESSED TO MY HEAD THE VOICES

and javier finally actually just caves and shouts at him,,, genuinely angry and upset and confronting him about this and akjsdlfkjsdf

what he says too also hurts me because it's something that lloyd absolutely fucking knows. he realized it when he got out of his depression arc, he KNOWS that he can rely on javier and the people of the estate to help him,,, and yet he's still bearing it alone by simply carrying the truth with him, bc he wants to reject that truth, he wants anything else,,, "we need to face it together" and facing it together is the one thing that'll guarantee one of them getting killed, bc lloyd Knows how javier would react to the truth the jewel gave. they know each other too damn well TEARS IN MY FUCKING EYES

it's just generally a big pointer to how suho just is, as well,,, it's like he's a natural mf martyr. he lived in korea carrying everything to protect whats left, and he's doing it again and again in lorasia and god lloyd you are so obvious you are so obvious

AND THEN THEIR COUPLE FIGHT CONCLUDES WITH. THIS. JAVIER GOING "ARENT WE FRIENDS" AND LLOYD GOING "WHO'S YOUR FRIEND YOU ARROGANT BASTARD" AND I GASPED SO FUCKING LOUD

I DONT EVER RECALL LLOYD YELLING AT JAVIER LIKE THIS IM SO. GOD I STARTED FUCKING LOSING MY MIND TEARS IN MY EYES AND FREAKING TEH FUCK OUT THIS IS. and all the estate people looking on in shocked silence bc. these two are the DUO OF THE ESTATE OF THE CENTURY and they just had a FIGHT over something no one else could probably understand and AAAAAAHGHGHLKDFKSDJAAAAAA

and in that silence lloyd just,,, he does look angry yeah but less of the "visceral rage" and more of the "im upset and heated and emotional and disgruntled and" yeah. i couldnt stop staring at this for a while

we don't even see javier's expression after this when he apologizes for overstepping,,, normally his expressions we see all over his face but,,, this one we don't get to see. but i don't think we need to bc god that's such a fucking blow to the heart. it fucking HURTS,,, like imagine being so damn worried about your friend working themselves to the bone, hiding information from you, and when you desperately plead to them so that you can help, they turn around and stab you with a "you're not my friend" so they can avoid telling you. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. THATS WHAT JUST HAPPENED THAT HURTS OW OW OWOAFKSJDKFHSKDFAA JAVIERRR JAVIERRR

lloyd is even the first to walk away from this (probably didn't want to linger on the hurt on javier's face, bc even though we as an audience can't see it,,, i'm sure lloyd did. javier, that boy wears his emotions on his damn palm let alone sleeve,,,) and javier is still rooted in the spot,,, we don't even see him turn around to follow. ugh,,,, UGHHH,,, THEIR FIRST SERIOUS COUPLE FIGHT SINCE THE MASTADON INCIDENT AND IT DOESNT GET RESOLVED BY THE END LIKE THE OTHER FIGHT DID,,,, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

i'm pretty sure by the time i was able to read this ep my next class was JUST about to start and i was freaking the fuck out over this LAKSJFLSKJDHFHSDJFA pretty sure the people behind me saw me losing it on the tged discord </3

ESPECIALLY WHEN I SCROLLED ONTO THE LAST PANEL BC

THIS EXPRESSION FUCKING HURT ME SO DAMN BAD. LLOYD FEELS SO FUCKING BAD ABOUT THIS BUT THE TRUTH IS EVEN WORSE HE'S STUCK BTWN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE IM SO. ALKSDFLSKDJFJHSKFLA

esp bc like after the heat of the moment is when you start to realize what you've said and oooooh. for a whole fucking week i was like "oh my god theres no coming back from this. this is a "Javier will remember this" moment of all time oh GOD". the tged server and i started calling this the divorce arc

AND THEN THATS WHERE THE SEASON 3 OPENING EPISODES ENDED AND WE HAD TO WAIT FOR A WEEK TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THEIR BREAKUP FIGHT

honest to god i felt like that fucking meme image of the wolf kid crying while his furry parents argued in front of him I AM SO SERIOUS THE BOYFS WERE FIGHTIIING AAAGHHH

can u imagine waiting for a week after this. i can't. i can't believe i managed to.

to conclude (??? IDK HOW TO END THIS) this was a really good start to season 3,,, lovely art and interactions and besides my wishes for alicia,,, i had a great time (despite me freaking out HAHA) nod emoji

naver then posted another 3 episodes in a row so that'll be the next combo liveblog,,, i'll have many thoughts on those ones too so that'll be another long one,,, because so much shit happens SEASON 3 IS JUST "HOLY FUCKING SHIT EVERYTHINGS HAPPENING" IM ALKJFLSKDFKSHDJAAAAA

i'm obsessed. i love this damn story. i hope they get a happy ending. i hope it never ends because i will cry when it's over. i hope they get a happy ending. PLEASE