#chensu

—

"i’m so beat!" jongdae belly flops onto their freshly made bed, having just spent the last five hours sorting through all the kitchen appliances, setting up the living room, and organizing their clothes in the bedroom closet by seasons and in color order.

the two of them had worked all the way through the day, even passed dinner time, hastily stuffing bites of some ordered pizza into their mouths as they continued to organize and assemble their home.

"now all we gotta deal with is luhan and his insistence that we have a housewarming," junmyeon shudders, plopping down beside jongdae and running his fingers through jongdae’s hair.

"oh joy," comes jongdae’s muffled response, face pressed into the lavender fabric softener scented sheets. a relaxed hum escapes his lips as junmyeon gently scratches his scalp, leaning his head in closer to junmyeon’s hand.

a few moments of blissful silence passes, overused and cramped muscles loosening up under junmyeon’s touch, and jongdae finds himself being lulled into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

—

a sliver of moonlight is shining down through the small crack in between the curtains, but jongdae is pretty certain that’s not what woke him up.

still half asleep and slightly disoriented, jongdae pulls himself into a seated position, the comforter falling around his waist as he rubs his eyes and glances around the room in confusion.

to his side, junmyeon is still fast asleep, lightly snoring from all the exhaustion of the day. but that’s not what had woken jongdae up either.

drip, drip, drip.

jongdae squints through the darkness, eyes slowly getting accustomed to the lack of light, as he focuses on the master bedroom’s adjoining bathroom door.

drip, drip, drip.

"the water must be leaking," jongdae groans to himself, stretching out the kinks in his back before pushing the blanket off and hauling himself off the bed. "junmyeon must’ve not shut it off right."

jongdae wiggles his toes against the carpet before fumbling his way around the bed and across the room towards the bathroom, shutting the door halfway before turning on the light so as not to wake junmyeon up.

shaking his head, jongdae leans into the tub and twists the faucet, the dripping water automatically ceasing.

satisfied with his work, jongdae straightens up and brushes off his hands when a sudden chill tingles down his spine, the hairs on the back of his neck standing.

in his peripheral vision, jongdae sees movement. and he jerks around to face the still halfway shut door, but the bathroom is completely empty save for himself.

"what?" jongdae murmurs, rubbing his eyes. maybe he’s just tired.

trying to get back into bed before the fatigue starts playing tricks on his mind again, jongdae makes to head out the door, briefly glancing into the mirror as he passes.

jongdae pauses in front of the sink, eyebrows furrowed as he stares at his reflection. man, he looks dead on his feet. time to get back to bed for real this time.

giving his dark circles and haggard appearance one last once over, jongdae tries to turn around but is suddenly rooted to the spot, terror locking his limbs into paralysis.

his breath hitches in his throat, and jongdae is finding it extremely difficult to even so much as utter a single sound.

because in his reflection, pale, chalky, wrinkled hands creep around his neck, seemingly appearing out of the back of his hair. and as the fingers glide across his collarbones, jongdae can actually feel the touch of clammy, chaffed skin. a shivery breath fans out behind his shoulder, and jongdae finally finds the strength in his voice to scream.

he screams, and he screams, and he screams until his voice cracks, and junmyeon is slamming through the door, face completely panic ridden.

"what’s going on?! are you okay?!" junmyeon shouts, grabbing jongdae by the shoulders and turning the still screaming man to face him. "what happened?" junmyeon asks again a little more quietly, and jongdae’s voice slowly dies out, breath shuddering as he stares at junmyeon with wide eyes.

"are you okay?" junmyeon repeats, pulling the shivering jongdae against his chest and rubbing his hand comfortingly up and down jongdae’s arm. "was it a nightmare?"

clinging to the idea that it had all been just a dream, jongdae violently shakes his head, fighting back the onslaught of tears threatening to spill over his cheeks.

"shh, it’s okay," junmyeon whispers into jongdae’s hair. and jongdae realizes he’s already gulping for air, hot tears streaming out of the corners of his eyes. "come on, let’s get back to bed"

jongdae allows junmyeon to steer him out of the bathroom, frantically shaking his head when junmyeon tries to turn the lights off.

"can we just," jongdae’s voice cracks, and junmyeon smiles understandingly before shutting the door instead and leaving it slightly ajar.

— day 2

the next morning, jongdae is mindlessly washing some apples in the kitchen sink, preparing a fruit smoothie for junmyeon to take to work.

he hadn’t been able to fall back asleep, even with junmyeon’s comforting arms wrapped around him, and the exhaustion is finally taking its toll.

staring at a distant corner of the ceiling, jongdae continues scrubbing under the water streaming down when the skin of the apple slides away with his thumb.

with a frown, jongdae glances down. these fruits should be fresh.

he rubs a little harder, wondering if maybe he’d bought a couple bad apples, when the skin slips all the way under his touch, much like the way burnt flesh peels off from the bone.

crimson red spirals down the drain, and jongdae’s breath stutters in his lungs, heart thrumming against his rib cage as if its trying to break free.

jongdae drops the apple as if it had burned his hands, stepping away as blood continues to wash down the sink.

"what are you doing?" junmyeon’s voice sounds behind him, and jongdae jumps in surprise. "are you sure you’re okay?" junmyeon’s expression looks worried, concern lining the edges of his mouth.

"yeah, i’m fine," jongdae breathes, watching in a mild panic as junmyeon shuts off the water and grabs an apple.

"i’ll just take this to-go. gonna be late," junmyeon says softly, taking a small bite before placing a kiss on jongdae’s temple and rushing out the door.

jongdae tries so hard not to throw up.

—

after junmyeon is long gone, jongdae dedicates the rest of the day to unpacking the rest of their belongings, exerting every ounce of energy he can muster so that he won’t have any spare time to even ponder over the clammy white, the viscous red,

jongdae briefly shakes his head before stabbing open another box labeled ‘books’ and starts loading the shelves with all of junmyeon’s grad school textbooks and jongdae’s magazines and novels.

later that night, after hours of rearranging the living room furniture and nearly finishing unpacking all the boxes, jongdae stands under a steamy hot shower, allowing the heat and pounding pressure relax his aching, tense muscles.

jongdae slowly rinses out the shampoo from his hair, body physically and mentally drained from his manic obsession with keeping himself busy to the point of passing out. he’s about to give his hair a final rinse before climbing out of the shower when icy cold, rough skin slides up his outer thighs, freezing over his insides in contrast to the hot water pouring around him.

he’s too scared to glance down, too terrified to find out what it is that’s touching him. but he looks anyways.

there’s a pale, hunched over body on its knees between jongdae’s legs, straggly black hair hanging long and limp from the moisture. jongdae stares in horror at the mottled, bloated skin stretched across its entire frame, before belting out bloody murder as loud as his throat will go.

—

junmyeon later comes home to find jongdae curled in the corner of the bathtub, quietly sobbing into his arms as freezing water pours down from the shower head.

— day 3

"are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?" junmyeon’s brows furrow with concern, hands cupping jongdae’s face carefully as if he’s holding something fragile. junmyeon swipes a thumb across jongdae’s cheek, tracing along the dark circle blossoming under jongdae’s eyes.

"i’m fine," jongdae replies, smiling weakly as he leans his cheek into junmyeon’s palm. "it’s probably just the stress and all that from all this moving and stuff."

junmyeon looks like he wants to say something else, but chooses not to, biting his lower lip before placing a soft kiss on jongdae’s forehead.

"i love you," junmyeon closes his eyes and leans his forehead against jongdae’s. "i’ll be home right after work. we’ll go out for dinner tonight, something nice.”

"okay," jongdae whispers back, pressing their lips together before junmyeon grabs his briefcase and heads out for work.

—

without junmyeon’s presence, the empty house is driving jongdae insane. so he grabs his car keys and bolts out the door, driving around aimlessly for hours without a destination in mind.

jongdae drives around and around the town, circling the shopping center and grocery stores over and over again, before coming upon a quaint little bookstore situated between a public laundromat and a liquor store.

parking his car in the private lot out back, jongdae shuffles into the store, immediately relaxing under the smell of new books, freshly printed pages, and the warm, inviting aroma of coffee from a cafe stand inside.

purchasing a piping hot cup of joe, jongdae ambles around the bookstore, picking out this book and that, reading through several different summaries until he comes across a promising fantasy novel.

jongdae finds an open armchair near the children’s section, settling in comfortably before immersing himself into the fantastical world of fiction, submerging into the intricate patterns of words and punctuation marks that paint pretty pictures of make believe and pretend.

he’s so into the novel that the sun is already setting along the horizon by the time jongdae realizes it’s getting too late.

"oh shit," he curses lightly under his breath, returning the book back into its original place before tossing out the cold, bitter coffee and rushing back for home.

jongdae quickly parks the car and flounders with his house keys before finding hte right one and scrambling up the stairs so he can be ready to go for when junmyeon comes back home.

setting out the clothes he’s decided to wear for their dinner date, jongdae pauses in front of the bathtub, staring at it hesitantly for a few seconds before deciding he’s being silly and turning on the water.

"stop being ridiculous," jongdae tells himself firmly as he strips out of his clothes and hops into the tub.

he keeps his eyes wide open, fingers a little jittery as he tries to speed through the process of getting clean. he finishes lathering up and washing out the shampoo from his hair, and nothing has happened so far.

he knows he’s being dumb.

"stop it," jongdae whispers to himself, fighting down the urge to toss himself out of the tub, and grabs the body wash instead. he pops the cap and squeezes out a generous portion to rub into his torso.

but there are already hands there.

hands that don't belong to him.

clammy, white, wrinkled hands that caress almost lovingly down his sides, arms wrapping around his waist. and jongdae can’t breathe, terror crushing all the air out of his lungs.

—

"jongdae? you ready to go?" junmyeon calls inside the house, but gets no response. "baby?"

kicking off his shoes, junmyeon makes his way up the stairs, following after the sound of running water coming from their room.

"huh, still in the shower?" he frowns, knocking lightly on the bathroom door. "baby, you almost done?"

all is silent, no response.

icy cold panic is starting to curl in the pit of his stomach, and junmyeon quickly opens the door. he cringes away from the sudden onslaught of heat, pent up steam rushing out in enormous waves.

"baby?" junmyeon calls out again, waving a hand to bat away the steam. he walks closer to the bathtub, sliding open the shower curtains and shutting off the water.

the tub is empty.

"jongdae?"

—

a little over a decade ago, a young woman is drowned in the bathtub by a jealous ex-boyfriend, leaving her body to rot and bloat until she is found by her frantic mother three days later.

—

junmyeon waits, and he waits. but jongdae never comes home. and he doesn’t understand why.

—