#chensoo

Tight arms wrap around his small body pulling him in closer. “Shhh puppy. Just watch and I promise no one will get hurt. But if you try to escape, I’ll break your neck and make Jongdae here bury your dead body and then we’ll have so much fun he’ll wish we buried him with you. Do you want that for him?” Baekhyun shakes his head no mouthing a chorus of silent protests. Daddy’s arms tighten against his own, firm chest against quivering back. “Do you understand you have to obey so that kitten here doesn’t get hurt?” Baekhyun nods, can feel Daddy pulling him in so close his mouth nuzzles against Baekhyun’s neck, never minding the younger’s tears as they fall onto scarred arms that hold him in place.

“Pucker for me, kitten. I don’t want to make this messy.” Chanyeol grabs Jongdae’s face gently and paints his lips red. He takes his time. Careful precision. These are going in their collection after all, a genesis from beginning to end. The metamorphosis of innocence. There are pictures of all the boys here. Maybe he'll show kitten and puppy their before and after... if they last long enough. “Hm kitten didn’t scratch, didn’t even try to get out of my grasp. You want this too? Like puppy over there. Want me to violate you? Want to me hurt you and leave you bloody?” He pulls Jongdae’s head back, a tight grip on his hair, and smiles that charming dimpled way that might have Jongdae blushing under different circumstances. “I’d prefer if we painted your lips red with blood but Kyungsoo seems to have a thing for you so I’ll let him do that later.” He bends down, lips aligned with Jongdae’s ear. “When I’m done with puppy over there, I’d love to get some kitten scratches. Want you to put up a fight and make me hurt you.” 

Jongdae holds his breath, holds in his rage and disgust. Swallows violent vows.

“These lips were meant for red! Don’t you think so puppy?” Daddy releases Baekhyun who is instantly caught and made to straddle Chanyeol whose arms rests casually against Jongdae's shoulder. “You don’t seem too bothered by it kitten. Do you love wearing lipstick? You know you look pretty in it, right? Wish you could wear it all the time and be a pretty whore for me?”

Jongdae looks up but he’s speechless. It’s embarrassing. All the hungry eyes, heat, and hormones make him want to scream. Baekhyun would have looked just as pretty with lipstick. So why not him or why not both of them? Why does Jongdae have to be singled out like this in front of these animals? He could have calmed Baekhyun or at least some of the praises would have helped soften the blow but Kyungsoo and Daddy singled him out.

“I’m not…” He shakes his head. “I…”

“Spit it out kitten. You’re not… You’re not what? You’re not pretty? You’re not mine? Hmm that’s not it is it?” Daddy is playful, knows what Jongdae's thinking but wants him to say it for the sake of humiliation.

“I’m not…”

“You’re not  our  whore.” Kyungsoo says, causing Jongdae and Baekhyun’s attention to turn to him, something Chanyeol seems to disagree with as he picks up Baekhyun's small body, still straddling his waist, and removes the risk for temptation. Baekhyun is Chanyeol’s and he doesn’t get to look at Kyungsoo or anyone, only Chanyeol. Jongdae wasn’t expecting him to sound like this, like cacao meeting sugarcane for the first time. “You’re beautiful Jongdae. You will be my whore for tonight and for every night. As long as I desire. You don’t have a say in this.” 

“I-”

“You.” 

“I... don’t have a say in this.” The bitter taste of defeat. 

“Yes. And?” Kyungsoo waits. 

Jongdae knows what he is according to them and how he should answer but he’s reluctant to give in. The more he gives in the less he has to leverage. But there’s no choice here. Maybe if Daddy had chosen him and not Kyungsoo, he could have circumvented. Or found a way to leverage his situation. Daddy seems playful sometimes and he makes jokes. Kyungsoo seems different. More strict. Severe. Better to obey than disobey.

There is something dark about Kyungsoo that forces Jongdae to give in. For his own sake.  

It’s beginning and Daddy sits back, motioning for Kai to join him. Kai has done this many times before. He knows when the toys go to play, he is to strip down for Daddy and let Daddy touch him however he wants. And Kai wants it too. Often he will watch Kyungsoo and Chanyeol play with their toys as Daddy plays with them or as they play with each other. Sometimes he’ll make Kai watch as he plays with the toys too - but only after. Daddy always joins the others after he’s satisfied they’ve “broken in their toys”. Until then he watches. Kai knows Daddy likes to be involved. Maybe if Kai’s own parents had been involved more he wouldn’t be here.  

Kyungsoo steps forward, camera still in one hand, and grabs Jongdae by the other. “Come here Jongdae. I want you to see something.” Jongdae wonders what it would be like to refuse Kyungsoo but he obeys as soon as his hand is extended. “You can speak even if you’re not spoken to. I don’t like to be the only one talking.” 

“Why are you doing this?” If the worst comes tonight, he has to know why. 

“Why would you ask me this question when you already know the answer?” He stops outside a door and turns to Jongdae, eyes squinting slightly and Jongdae hates that he finds him... cute.

Kyungsoo is a paradox. Undeniably cute face, small stature, not unlike Jongdae, and a voice with a seductive depth that mimics the extent of this truly fucked up situation. His youthful appearance and the way his face bunches up when he smiles caters to a deceptive playfulness that Jongdae’s sure doesn’t exist.

“You’re doing this because you can.”

“Yes.”

Jongdae can feel his heart drop to his stomach. They’re doing this because they can and that means they'll do anything they want. “Is there a chance we can… leave? I promise I don’t know the answer to this question. I’m just hoping the answer is… possible.”

Kyungsoo nods but doesn’t respond. It’s not his place to say what’s possible or isn’t. “Only Suho knows the answer to that, Jongdae, and I wouldn’t advise you to ask him.”

It’s Jongdae’s turn to nod as Kyungsoo places a key into a door that locks from the outside. He doesn’t tell Jongdae to prepare himself, only opens the door slowly revealing a room that induces Jongdae’s skin to crawl. He blinks to will it away.

He looks to Kyungsoo who remains stoic. “You already know what this room is Jongdae, don’t you?” How he can say this without a hint of emotion is beyond any normal human’s reasoning, Jongdae shudders, as a hand is placed firmly on his back urging him to step forward. Gentle. Kyungsoo’s hand is gentle on Jongdae’s back as he beckons him into the room covered from floor to ceiling in some type of clear plastic sheeting. There’s a bed at the back wall but that too is covered in heavy plastic. Every piece of furniture… nothing is left uncovered besides two pillows, a sheet, and a blanket. Every cloth, every piece of furniture is white covered by clear and he knows exactly why. It turns his stomach. The pillow has a collar attached by a chain on it. In the corner of the room is another chain. Jongdae assumes that’s where he goes if he’s been bad enough to warrant discipline but not death. These are the only two things that are not white or clear and Jongdae can tell they are meant to stand out in stark contrast to the bright sterileness of the room.

“This… can’t be. I heard him. He said you can’t make us bleed or scar us! You can’t do this!” Jongdae makes to move back into the hallway and Kyungsoo doesn’t stop him. He takes one step out of the room of horror before he’s frozen in place. If he goes back to the living room, Daddy will be there and he’ll know Jongdae disobeyed. Daddy had told Baekhyun that if he tried to escape he’d break his neck and make Jongdae bury the body, then they’d rape and torture him until he wished for death. 

He can’t leave. He doesn’t want to stay. 

Something about this lack of choice pulls at the despair in his stomach and makes him turn back to the room of plastic and panic. Kyungsoo the quiet man with velvet cashmere for a voice. Kyungsoo who chose him, who chose this room and sterility and death. Jongdae turns back and falls to his knees body wracked with terror and tears until he’s getting the plastic wet beneath him. 

Kyungsoo moves and he’s not sure if he’s coming to punish him or for sympathy but he looks up because he needs to look at something other than the plastic that will have his blood smeared on it later. He looks up and Kyungsoo is there, smiling, and it’s gentle. It’s gentle and Jongdae finds relief. Relief in that Kyungsoo isn’t Daddy with his mutable chaos and he’s not like Chanyeol who is only chaos. He reaches up, arms signaling  please  but it’s met without emotion, only the feeling of cold as a vial is pressed to his cheek and a  shhhh as Kyungsoo holds his head in place and collects his tears. Kyungsoo too is chaos but it’s muted not mutable. His chaos seems neutral and Jongdae considers, ragged breaths full of regret and tears filling the vial of an apathetic sadist, that maybe he's the lucky one.

“Thank you, Jongdae.” 

He watches in between blurry eyes as Kyungsoo fastens the lid on the vial and puts it in a drawer, closing it gently and locking it. Two locks already. Jongdae wonders if it’s a pattern. He also wonders if he looks in the drawer how many vials will he see, wonders what his chances are of surviving this hellish nightmare. If it weren’t for the overwhelming need to look after and protect Baekhyun, he’d charge Kyungsoo right now and die without the shame that will follow him to heaven or hell. St. Peter at the gates of Heaven and Jongdae is supposed to recount this night and how he didn’t fight back because he had to save his friend. How he knew they’d violate him and he let them because if he could make this time even a fraction less tortuous for Baekhyun, he would do it. Will God forgive him? He closes his eyes and starts to pray, wishing he had his rosary or a Bible or anything to strengthen his faith and resolve. Maybe he should have gone to confession before he left. Maybe God will make it easier on them if he prays hard enough. He isn’t sure that’s how it works but he has to try. If anything God will read his heart and understand whatever follows, whatever Jongdae is made to do, it's to save his best friend. 

“Head, Lips, and Heart. So you’re Catholic?”

Jongdae nods and sends his prayers up to whoever might be listening. “Yes. I am.”

“Hm. Well, I will tell you when to stand, sit, kneel, and respond. Not your god.” Kyungsoo is a creature of habit but tonight he will try new things with his new toy and with this knowledge comes a new way of bringing out something wicked in Jongdae, something to make him fight back and regret it. For now, Kyungsoo will continue to blur the line between himself and Jongdae as equal and inferior. “Come here Jongdae. Come to your new god.” And there it is. He sees the flicker in Jongdae’s eyes, the anger and bile rise as he stands up and obeys. 

“I need you to get dressed and then stand still. Cover your eyes. Don’t peek.” He can hear Kyungsoo taking things out of the closet, the drawers, notices a calming earthy scent diffusing in the room. It’s pleasant. It makes him breathe a little more peacefully. Maybe Kyungsoo will go easier on him. Maybe the room is just a precaution  in case  it gets messy, not  because it will get messy. Jongdae feels Kyungsoo’s hands on his own as he’s made to open his eyes. 

He takes a few tentative steps back. “You can't be serious... I’m not wearing that. I can't..." 

“Oh no? You will either wear it willingly or smeared with your blood. Choice is yours.” His voice is flat as he holds out the dress as if an offering.

“Please. Look we can leave and I promise on my faith that we won’t tell anyone about you or this place. Just let us go. You don’t need us. You don’t need me.” Desperation personified. His plea hangs heavy in the stale air.

“I do need you, Jongdae. I need you to put on that dress.” The dollification is meant to break people down but Kyungsoo would be remiss if he didn’t admit the swell of his member against fitted slacks with just the thought of Jongdae dolled up in such a petite and fragile dress. “If you refuse I will make it worse.” He stares Jongdae down and Jongdae stares back, neither budging until Kyungsoo tells him to sit. That, Jongdae can do. Kyungsoo doesn’t even tell him to close his eyes this time, just turns his back and starts gathering things and yes this is definitely worse.  Sooo. Much. Worse. OH GOD. 

“Wait! No, I’m sorry. I’ll wear the dress. I’ll twirl in the dress! Just please. Not this. Not ALL of this. It’s too much. I can’t!” He’s up now, without permission, hands gripping on Kyungsoo’s arm begging him to stop. Kyungsoo turns his head back to Jongdae so fast the older flinches without Kyungsoo even raising an arm or hand to him. It makes the younger smile like Jongdae brought him freshly baked cookies instead of the twisted pleasure of arousing fear.  Yes. Like that.

“Take your clothes off Jongdae.”

“No. Wait. Please. Please Kyungsoo wait. I-”

 “Take It Off!” The change is sudden. From calm to I’ll slit your throat and leave you to rot in your own blood. Jongdae’s scared and doesn’t hesitate now to take off his shirt, a shiver running down his spine as tears fall down his pretty face. Kyungsoo considers collecting these tears but there will be more tears later and plenty of opportunities to fill an entire vial. For now, he sets down all the beautiful pieces Jongdae will wear. He lays them out orderly. After all, he’ll command his little kitten one by one to put everything on, a polaroid at each juncture.

Kyungsoo will show him later when he’s a broken and sobbing mess. Or just when he's feeling confident enough to survive here.

Jongdae is crying again. It's the most he's cried in years. He's trying to compose himself because this isn't like him, but he can't help it and the tears keep falling and he wonders how Baekhyun is doing. If Jongdae is this affected by the quiet Kyungsoo, how is Baekhyun being treated by the rabid Chanyeol? He hopes and prays with everything that Baekhyun is luckier than he is, that he doesn’t have to dress like a hybrid between the gender he doesn’t identify with and as a pet.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t make me yell like that. You have to at least  try  to listen.”

“I-m sorry Kyungsoo. I…”

“You should have listened at the beginning. You made it harder. I could be a lot worse. Like Daddy or Chanyeol.” He takes a small step forward before turning around to face the drawer of vials, sighing in a small plea for Jongdae to consider the alternative. “Jongdae, Chanyeol is already fucking Baekhyun in there and I haven’t even touched you. All I’m asking you to do is put on  more clothes.”

He’s right. Jongdae hasn’t been touched yet, hasn’t been kissed. The worst that’s happened with Kyungsoo is collecting tears and being told to wear cute clothes. Is he blowing this out of proportion? Is it really not a big deal?

“I’m trying here Jongdae. You have to help me help you.” He stops straightening the clothes and looks at Jongdae, can see the doubt and questioning in his eyes. He continues. “I can’t do it alone, you know? I’m attracted to you and I think you’ll look beautiful in these clothes and with this kitten tail, you on all fours. But it has to feel good for you too.”

Kyungsoo has Jongdae speechless again. It has to feel good for him too? He wants Jongdae to feel good? “I’ll help you. I will. And I’m sorry. I just never imagined… and now… All of this is overwhelming. I can’t even form all of my thoughts in complete sentences. I am really sorry though. I know you’re trying.”

“I am. I put a lot of effort into this room, into selecting the clothes, even the lipstick. I tried to find a universally flattering color and I think I did a good job. It looks beautiful on you.” Jongdae sees Kyungsoo blush and looks away. He should not think this kidnapper is cute but physically he is and physically Jongdae feels sick to his stomach. 

“Will you… come here Jongdae. Look in the mirror. Don’t you think it’s flattering?” 

Jongdae stands beside Kyungsoo who positions him in front of the mirror and he examines them both, two boys who could have gone to the same school or met up somewhere, become friends. Yet the situation is completely different. Kyungsoo must be about his age but they couldn't be any more different. Jongdae is a devout Catholic who only wanted to spend a vacation with his childhood best friend. And Kyungsoo is part of a dysfunctional "family" where they kidnap, rape, and murder people. Where Jongdae is exceedingly generous, Kyungsoo is exceedingly cruel. In another life, they could have all been friends. In this life, he and Baekhyun are captives of Kyungsoo and his family whose every intention is to harm and defile. He tells himself to remember that reality amid this confusion and Kyungsoo's words of persuasion.

“Don’t you think you’re beautiful?” Kyungsoo is behind him now, hands pressed firmly on his shoulders. He looks in the mirror and he's not sure if he's beautiful, doesn't know how to judge that from the perspective of his first time cross-dressing, and doing so against his will, so he doesn't answer. He does think it's as universally flattering as Kyungsoo said and something about the effort it takes to find a shade that would look good on everyone asserts a thing highlighted and underlined that Jongdae doesn't quite understand. "Look closer." He moves in closer, careful not to touch anything without asking, leans in. “I think you’re beautiful Jongdae and I know you think it’s weird but I think you’ll look even more beautiful with that white dress on.”

He turns to face Kyungsoo, with his deep voice and dark aesthetic. His calm demeanor and honesty about everything Jongdae has asked. The way he doesn’t call them kitten or puppy so much as Jongdae and Baekhyun. The way he seems to see him as a real person and not solely an object or as Daddy had said, “a toy”. 

“Do you want to put them on only for me? Suho usually gives us an hour or so before he comes in. He might even be with Chanyeol and Baekhyun now.”

“I’d like that.” Jongdae wants to kick himself for letting his guard down but he doesn’t know how long they’ll be here and he would rather not keep his adrenaline up and his nerves on edge the entire time if he can help it. And maybe he’s weak for this but when the words “flattering” and “beautiful” came out of Kyungsoo’s cashmere voice, he all but melted into it. 

“I want you to strip slowly for me, Jongdae.”

Strip slowly on heavy plastic in what’s basically a kill room... He tries not to think about it.  Just think about getting out of here and Kyungsoo’s voice and his smile, the way his cheeks bunch up, and not the way he’s some deranged kidnapping, cannibalistic serial killer. He inhales and starts, slowly, with the first piece of clothing that seems to make him the least vulnerable.

“Wait... I'll do it.” He needs to touch those legs, needs to sink his teeth in that flesh. Jongdae is already becoming more pliant under his gaze. The first night and he's already become so willing. The thought awakens something in Kyungsoo but he can't pass up this opportunity. Jongdae shakes his head yes as if consent is necessary and Kyungsoo obliges but given that Jongdae said no, he wouldn’t have denied himself the need to touch and bite and take. Not when his legs and ass look like this. No, Kyungsoo needs his hands and mouth on Jongdae now.

And he takes. Kyungsoo takes and he doesn’t let Jongdae adjust to the feeling of his hands groping his ass, rubbing his face along his thighs, and inhaling Jongdae’s natural scent, sweat, and fear. Doesn’t let Jongdae adjust to his hands moving to explore and squeeze, bite and bruise. 

“Fuck Jongdae. I could devour you right here. The plastic would take care of everything." If he could devour Jongdae's flesh between his teeth and have him reanimate, he'd do it in a heartbeat. For now, he'll bite leaving teeth marks, grab and squeeze tight making Jongdae cry out. Kyungsoo wants it to hurt. It's Jongdae's first night and he needs to remember it. He reaches to his back pocket and pulls out a black knife, newly sharpened. A gift from Chanyeol on a recent birthday. Jongdae's eyes widen and he starts crying. Kyungsoo wouldn't have imagined this one would cry so much but he's not complaining. He cries beautifully. His sad, soft whimpers and mewling. The perfect captive. "Yes, Jongdae. Cry for me.” He stands up and cradles Jongdae’s head in his hands. “I’m going to keep you forever and fuck you every night.” The image of Jongdae’s ass in the air and Kyungsoo’s face buried in it, directing orders to Chanyeol that he has to follow because Junmyeon demands it and Chanyeol can’t say no. Making Chanyeol eat Jongdae out while he fucks into Baekhyun. Chanyeol torn between having his toy played with and playing with a new toy. His primal instinct to possess. “I can’t wait to fuck you, Jongdae. You cry so pretty for me.” He buries his face between Jongdae’s legs and laps at his crotch, scratching his tongue on the fabric as he holds his knife to Jongdae's femoral artery, squeezing his thighs just to bruise. 

Suddenly Kyungsoo stops. “It’s not fun when you don’t fight back.”

Daddy hates boring guests. He wipes his tears and shoves Kyungsoo off of him, opts to run for the door but thinks twice before opening it. Good boy. It’s a game between himself and Kyungsoo. Opening the door and running out would only invite trouble and he has enough of that in the room here. Kyungsoo is on the other side, legs positioned to run in either direction Jongdae chooses. It’s not a big room and there aren’t many options so he runs straight for the closet and almost makes it to shut the door before Kyungsoo is on him, one arm wrapped around his neck and another around his chest, dragging him back to the bed. He’s kicking and flailing but it’s no good. The Butcher must have too much practice and Jongdae doesn’t have the strength. Not usually and not now. But it’s not like he knew he’d be in a situation where he’s fighting for his life against some psychopath. Kyungsoo seems to know many different positions to obtain and detain, making it impossible for Jongdae to get out of his grasp. 

“Aw, you got the party started without me, Soo? I hope he gave you a run of it.” 

Jongdae manages a look to the side as Daddy and Kai enter the room. He notices Kai is bruised and he’s been crying. 

“YOU. You did this!” He manages through the tightness of Kyungsoo’s arms around his neck and chest. “You’re responsible for all of this madness. What is wrong with you?!”

“Oh, kitten. Many things. But it won’t save you to know. You’re fucked either way. Although as I see you with your original clothes on, you haven’t been fucked by Kyungsoo just yet.” He turns his attention to Kyungsoo who is smirking from the struggling body under his strength. “And why the fuck not? And also why the fuck does he have his clothes BACK ON?! Chanyeol has abused Baekhyun countless times tonight. At least you made him cry. It’s almost the least you can do.” 

“I like to take my time, Daddy. You’ll see when I take his pants off how much attention I gave him. Trust me, he’s been abused.” Kyungsoo starts to unbutton Jongdae’s pants when he starts inching back, not sure if he should fight now or not. It takes one look from Kyungsoo to know that no, now is not the time to fight him. It’s time to listen and obey. His pants are slid off, thighs squeezed along the way. When his pants come off, he sees what being left alone with quiet and “gentle” Kyungsoo does to him. His skin is littered with red marks, bites, and coloring that will turn into dark bruises. He’s made to stand up and show Daddy all the marks Kyungsoo gave him. Kyungsoo lies and tells Daddy that he was saving the best part of the abuse for Daddy, to get him riled up for his baby Nini. Jongdae notices that Daddy believes it without question. 

“Nice work, son. I really shouldn’t doubt you. Now kitten is your toy so I’ll let you decide who you want to doll him up. You, me, or our Kai bear?” 

Jongdae barely manages to stand, pressed against Kyungsoo, whose arms clutch around his chest and neck. No one asked him what he wanted, who he would rather have touch him. It doesn’t matter. Jongdae doesn’t matter. He wants to speak up and ask if he’s really good right now and obeys everything if he can spend the night with Baekhyun. But he knows the answer before it leaves his mind. 

“Kai can put the dress and kitten ears on him, but I’ll do the collar and the plug. He's mine to claim.”

Daddy nods in acknowledgment. “Then it's settled. Although by the look of it, you might fuck him before you put the plug in. I imagine he’ll look delicious once he’s dolled up with a retouch of that lipstick.” Daddy can’t wait for Jongdae to smear that lipstick all over his dick or to watch the tears run down his face as Daddy abuses him again and again. Seeing his little kitten like this with less fire and more confusion, the fatigue and exhaustion of the night already taking hold makes his dick press against his pants, hard and leaking. If Kai weren't on his way to doll up Jongdae, he'd have him bouncing in his lap to stave off some of this hunger. He grabs Kyungsoo instead, his small body bouncing on his dick while Kai goes to play with the toy. All of his sons are, after all, cockwarmers. 

Kai stands in front of Jongdae, tears still present in his eyes, and takes off his boxers. This time he doesn't fight back. He doesn't make it easier for Kai either, makes him struggle to get his boxers off. He will not cooperate fully with these assholes. The fire in his stomach is raging again but it’s short-lived because as he stands there in that bright red lipstick, naked, and defenseless, the most he’s ever been exposed, he realizes that to everyone in that room, he is just a whore. A cockwarmer like Kyungsoo is to Daddy now.

“Lift up your arms Jongdae. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can rest. From someone that’s been where you are, you’ll need it.” Kai sounds tired and it’s no wonder. Whatever Daddy did to him between the time he left with Kyungsoo to this room and the time they entered, drained Kai of what made him human. Is this how Daddy turns boys and men into soldiers? Is this how Daddy turned Kyungsoo into someone who collects vials of tears, someone who kills people and skins them, leaving their hides out to dry in the sun? Jongdae hopes that won’t happen to him or Baekhyun. He can't let it happen to them. He won't.

But he's tired and he says he won't yet he's not even stopping Kai from undressing him as the others watch.

Kyungsoo's hands are resting over Daddy's own and he's allowing Daddy to get off using his body, moaning along as if enjoying every thrust, but his eyes are focused on the vulnerability of his prey's naked form. His prey who's acting on autopilot now, afraid to break eye contact with his predator as he lifts his arms for Kai to dress him in the delicate fabric that will soon tear and stain red under rough hands that deny all protests.

Kai brushes out a wig, the same color as Jongdae's hair, and puts the kitten ears over it. He gets a little closer and whispers “sorry” when Jongdae has tears in his eyes again. He can tell Jongdae has cried a lot his first night, coughing and straining many times over, the evident signs of red eyes and petechiae. He'll have to get used to it, learn to accept it, because it won't change. Nothing ever changes. He hopes he'll get the chance to impart this wisdom to Jongdae. He deserves to know. Kai wishes someone had told him, wishes he didn't have to find out the hard way. He's not even sure why he still cries. Maybe some part deep inside refuses to accept this wisdom. It makes him feel inferior because it's clear that both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo have accepted their reality and made the most of it. Or maybe they're more like Daddy than he'll ever be. He's not sure where Jongdae resides on this list but he knows without a doubt that Baekhyun is not cut out for this life. He's almost glad that Chanyeol chose Baekhyun. It'll be easier that way. He wouldn't survive Kyungsoo. Kai's not sure if Jongdae will either.

He finishes the touch-up of red lipstick over pretty lips and then Jongdae's made to twirl and twirl until he gets dizzy, until he falls and hits his head. It doesn't matter because he’s made to get up and kiss Daddy, kiss Kyungsoo, and kiss Kai. Someone rubs the blood from his head onto his mouth and he's made to suck his blood off someone's finger but he can't remember who. He's dizzy but he's made to bend down and show his ass, spread his cheeks. Kyungsoo is playing with him but he can't feel it. Then someone else whose hands are colder is touching him and he only knows because he has goosebumps and he thinks that's why but he can't be sure. Then Kyungsoo is in front of him and he’s being collared. Jongdae’s in a daze but he knows he’s being collared, made to move around on all fours behind Kyungsoo as he tugs on the leash. Someone fucks him from behind, leash pulled tight against his throat and he can't breathe. Daddy’s clapping and Kai is stoic again. He thinks he sees Baekhyun and he's crying too but he can’t be sure because the tears are coming and his vision is blurry.

He looks up again and no one is there, just Kyungsoo. He’s saying something but Jongdae can’t hear him. He’s being slapped and it doesn’t help. He doesn’t know what Kyungsoo is saying and he’s crying again and he only knows because the tears hit the plastic and reflect off the light. Kyungsoo is shaking him and he doesn’t know why. Then he’s being kicked but he can’t feel anything and he doesn’t know who. He still doesn't know why. He sees Kyungsoo laughing and taking pictures but he doesn’t hear him nor the sound of the film rolling. He sees Kyungsoo with his vial again and he's caressing his face. Jongdae thinks he leans into it but he can't be sure. He can't be sure of anything.