#chellesgrowth2018

03.16.18

Set BOUNDARIES. know your limitations. Squashed a certain conflict with a close friend and realized it was a boundary issue of our friendship. We understand now, and she knows my anxiety/depression. And now we decided to set limits and ‘fences’ between us that we won’t cross over anymore. Praying for my heart to LEARN and realize I need to set boundaries not just for our relationship, but my other relationships: both personal and professional.

Screenshot: from Townsend’s Boundaries book. First Chapter was about a boundaryless life, that I HIGHLY identified with: 

Praise the LORD for friends like her, who set me straight. She may not be spiritual as “mature as me” but she understands her own psyche better than I understand my own. So because of our confrontation last night, we were able to resolve the conflict and be constructive about each other’s relationship. She told me I need to be more AWARE of boundaries and not cross them when I do see them being put up. Second, desire for change and growth and don’t use my faith as a crutch to desire no growth.

Honestly, she alleviated/diffused my feeling of anxiousness concerning the “talk” and I’m so glad that the Lord gave us BOTH wisdom, understanding, meekness, and grace to really have a HEART to HEART conversation.

Since we have similar personalities in terms of “STRONG PRESENCE”, I had to really be TOLD to bite down my tongue. She told me that I should learn to let other’s own the conversation and not be on DEFENSE mode when you seek people out to confront them or resolve things. And I 100% agree because that is my struggle and pride kicking in as a SINNER.

Although she man valid and sound points, at the end of the day, she still ‘her’ and I’m still ‘me’. We are still different people and our response to certain actions will be received/delivered with different responses and intentions. So instead of trying to ‘appease’ her by being malambing, I’m no longer going to approach her or draw to her. I’ll let her come to me when she’s ready. 

We are now just giving each other space. In this season of life, I totally understand. I’m not affected by not seeing her since we haven’t spoken in 4 weeks. So it goes to show that when we do set up boundaries it releases a lot of unnecessary burdens off my heart.