#cheeze-its

this is how vernon must feel when he wakes up and chooses to eat jam with toast . . .

Story I just remembered from my childhood: we had a donation box in the classroom (we were like in fifth grade so even though it wasn’t our own money our teacher encouraged us to donante change if we could) and this girl I knew once put a bunch of cheeze-its in there without the teacher knowing and the rest of us watched her do it. Two days later the teacher opened the donation box to find all the cheese crackers and she flipped out and started screaming about how immature we all were while we just sat there in silence.

Goldfish crackers and Cheez-Its taste more like they’re cheese-adjacent than actual cheese. Like they taste like what you’d think cheese would taste like if you’ve never actually eaten cheese, but like were described what cheese tastes like by somebody who has eaten cheese instead. Like they taste like what you’d imagine what cheese tastes like if its been a few days since you’ve had any cheddar cheese.